“There’s an article making its way around social media claiming it’s better to be grumpy and bad tempered. It sounds like it could make sense, but it’s incorrect. How well does being grumpy and bad-tempered lead to people getting along and working well together?
Some of this article has merit but the conclusion is incorrect. This happens when scientists go astray in reporting findings and when others report science research. The studies reported on are cherry picked to prove a thesis. It isn’t meta-analysis. It is faulty thinking.
Anger is a human emotion. There is nothing wrong with anger. It is energy and movement. It’s very useful when properly directed. It’s a great catalyst for change and helps create momentum and propulsion. Anger can get you moving and fast! It can be useful.
Today You Are Where Your Thoughts Have Brought You
An example is, ‘ I am mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!’ This anger when acted on can lead to great change. When it is directed toward the accomplishment of a worthwhile goal it is beneficial anger. When aimed poorly it can wreak havoc.
Being grumpy hasn’t led anyone to leading a more enjoyable life. Nor has sadness, nor negativity. When an author gets it wrong they only spread their folly. The danger is the author’s conclusions are only partially accurate. A lie spreads easier when there’s some truth to it.
Potentially everything, anything, can be a useful resource in an appropriate context. Anything might be helpful in the moment but one shouldn’t make that the rule, the generalization to live by. All rules aren’t necessarily for all time and space. Understand this!
Tomorrow You Will Be Where Your Thoughts Take You
One might be so pumped up as to lift an automobile off another person with bare hands, but that’s not a state to do much else in; from negotiating a deal, making dinner, loving your children and family, going to the store by car or most everything else.
It’s a very useful one-time event. Some things are useful in special times of need but not always. Is it better to be happier more often than not happy? Would you rather live a grump life or a happy one? Would you prefer being angry more or more peaceful and joyous?
The author of the article dismisses happiness and positivity. She got it wrong here too. It isn’t happiness that’s an issue. It’s the pursuit of happiness. If you pursue happiness you miss the point. Happiness comes from accepting who you are and from being productive.
You Cannot Escape The Power Of Your Thoughts
The pursuit of happiness isn’t wise. People erroneously put their happiness off until the right circumstance occurs, the right person enters their life, their problems are overcome or they acquire the right things. This is folly. Yet, it’s what most people do. Do you?
That’s expecting something to cause you to be happy. That is putting happiness outside of you or your control. That makes you a victim of circumstances, putting you ‘at-effect’ instead of ‘at-cause’. Happiness is now. Happiness is you when you stop pursuing it.
Happiness is discovered through appreciating who you are and what you presently have. You can still work toward a worthy goal while being grateful for what you currently have. In fact, you can be happy while discontent. You use the discontent to move your forward.
Whatever You Decided Has Made It So But You Can Decide Anew
BUT sacrificing the present for the future isn’t a good idea. Nor is living so much in the present you don’t create a future. Neither is that wise. What is smart and wise is realizing all human emotions are natural and can be used on purpose. Be the cause not at effect!
It’s the blend of frustration in the present and positive faith in your ability to create something better that’s wisest. You’re happy while wanting more. Your happiness isn’t the result of getting more it is a result of who you are! Because of who you are you get more.
It isn’t separate from you. Get it? Because you’re happy you work towards having things. You don’t become stupid because you’re happy. You still have your faculties and all the other emotions and resources to utilize. The author equates happiness with lazy-dumb.
Energy Flows Where Attention Goes
Being happy isn’t being fat, lazy and stupid. You can be fat, lazy and stupid happy, sad or angry. You can be skinny and miserable or blissful. You don’t have to give your power away being happy but you might give it away by being out of control angry. Get this?
The conclusion the article draws is might have an edge being grumpy and bad tempered. It’s not untrue. Bullies can get their way but so can nice people. I might negotiate better if I want the best for me and the person I am negotiating with. You might also be happier.
Be creative in overcoming obstacles while realizing they serve a purpose. You ultimately decide what purpose the obstacle serves. You assign the meaning. Whether it is true or not an open learning mindset serves you. Extract the lesson from the circumstance.
What You Focus On Expands – You Become What You Think About
Some people don’t move when frustrated. They wallow. They fester. They will when they get angry enough. This creates that momentum and propulsion. They’ve had enough and finally act. Use anger to get off your butt and move toward a worthy goal. This is a great use.
You’ll discover yourself increasing your happiness and enthusiasm as you get closer to the goal. It’s natural to feel this. Stop being stuck. Start moving forward. Appreciate where you are every step of the way! Happiness isn’t to be sought after. It is to be experienced now.
You must decide how you want to live. No one can decide for you. Your choice will determine what you experience. If you don’t choose YOU have already chosen. Get that? What you experience right now IS from the mindset and feelings you live from. Grumpy or not? Happiness is a choice. I choose happiness. Not for later, but right now. What do you choose? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
PS My new book Life On Your Terms: Creating The Life You Want is publishing soon. I will keep you posted when you can get it!
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