“There is no such thing as secondary gain. Don’t be hoodwinked. It is only a term describing what brains do. Brains run on neural wiring, or in layman’s term, habit. You decide you want to stop biting nails but your brain only knows biting nails. That is what it learned to do.
Since your unconscious conditioned habits and processes are millions of times more powerful than conscious mind which do you think will win? I’d put my money on the old habit. BUT the good news is you can change old habits even if they die hard. You can change.
In order to change you must change the habits the same way you learned to have the habit. You must recondition your mind. You rewire it the same way it got wired in the first place. This time, however, you deliberately are doing it. It is chic on your part.
Skill Comes Of Doing – Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill
Originally, you may or may not have realized you were conditioning a habit. Whether that habit was smoking, biting nails, using profanity, eating sweets, feeling anxious, feeling depressed, living in poverty, thinking about debt and worries you learned to do it.
Changing habits is simple though not always easy. Still it absolutely can be done. To change it first begins with the decision to change and the commitment to do it. Without this no change is likely. If you keep doing what you are doing you will get the same results. Get it?
The notion of secondary gain is, as most explanations are, a red herring. It keeps you focused in the wrong areas for making changes. Not bad just not really useful. If you dig a hole you are bound to find dirt and the more you dig the more dirt you’ll find.
To Change You Must Decide To Change – That Is The First Step
Instead you must recondition your mind because in doing the habit you don’t want really all it is doing is what your brain already does best. It runs your habit programs. It keeps running them because that is all it knows to do. It doesn’t judge them. YOU judge them but your unconscious doesn’t. It keeps you in your comfort zone continuing the habit because that IS what it does. AND BOY it is good at it. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Want to change? Here’s how to begin:
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