“Learn to do this for yourself and you’ll free yourself from wasted time in conflict with others. It’ll free you up from a lot of time spent in pain. Learn this and it will help in so many positive ways. BUT you must do it and experience it to benefit. When people are upset and arguing they may call names and blame the other party. If you want to get free it’s important to learn how to disconnect.

It benefits all of us to learn to be far less affected by the words others use against us. Develop thicker skin. Let more things slide without taking offense. Many recall ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’. Yes, words can hurt. Words can cut deep. We all ought to be sensitive and strive not to injure others verbally, emotionally and physically.

Still, we can learn to lessen the impact of other’s words against us so that we are not victims of others. We can let them hurl their worst and remain calm and unaffected. Understanding the sticks and stones saying is awesome. Still, some people want to restrict what others say. I just addressed this point a moment ago. Be sensitive and don’t hurt others.

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Rather than restrict what one can say I prefer to help the recipient be more powerful and confident, resilient and resourceful so that no matter what is aimed at them they are not injured but can rise above it easily. Be careful, sensitive and respectful. Don’t do or say things that hurt or offend others, BUT also should learn to have thicker skin or disconnect from others’ attempts to hurt us.

Learn to not take insults personally. Let insults and blames go. Be free from them. Consider this. If someone you’re arguing with suddenly called you a rocket ship would that bother you? Seriously? Would it hurt you or upset you? Probably not. You might think, ‘what on earth is with this person? Are they okay?’ You might laugh or express confusion, but it wouldn’t devastate you, would it?

Why would you be okay with being called a rocket ship or not bothered by it? Because you know that YOU are NOT a rocket ship. I’m right, aren’t I? You aren’t one, are you? You are a human being. So, if someone called you a rocket ship you might think they were confused, out of their mind, silly, or anything else but you wouldn’t be bothered by it. Am I right or am I right?

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If that is true, if that is the case YOU CAN apply this same reasoning to any negative statement and name others might use to hurt you intentionally or otherwise. They’re behaving foolishly. They are being irrational. They’re acting immaturely by using names and negative comments so why reward them with the reaction they seek? No, don’t call them names. Just know it inside yourself.

Instead of reacting with hurt or anger simply let it go! You can apply this whenever you find yourself in this type of situation. Whenever someone is trying to get you to feel angry or hurt just imagine they are calling you a rocket ship. What they are saying is gibberish and not relevant.

Remember, you are NOT what another person says you are. You simply are not! Unless of course you are. Sometimes, people get upset with the name caller because they know or suspect the other person is correct. For example, if they say you are lazy and YOU KNOW you are lazy then take it as useful feedback. Sometimes other people deliver useful and much needed messages.

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They just don’t do it in the nicest ways. If someone provides you with useful feedback in the heat of anger, thank them because they have helped you face an area you may want to address and change. ALL other people are gifts to us. It isn’t whether they are or not it’s whether you realize this or don’t.

You never have to accept what anyone says about you UNLESS it is useful for you to be better. Even if it is said in the worst possible manner, YOU can make adjustments and be better because it is brought to your attention, in a loud and not glorious way. It’s like an alarm siren going off. Use it. Listen to the message without attacking the messenger.

When you acknowledge them positively, no matter what their reason is for saying hurtful things, you may short circuit their own mental programs. Here’s an example. I was in my mid 20’s, walking in my L. A. neighborhood, many years ago when some teenagers at the local school spotted me and yelled, ‘hey asshole!’ I kept walking, not realizing they were yelling at me at first.

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They tried again to taunt me by continuing to call me names. They continued yelling loudly. Finally, it got my attention. I stopped. I looked at them and said sincerely, and I meant it. ‘Thanks. You’re right, I am an asshole. Sometimes I forget that. Thanks.’ They quickly scrambled out of there exclaiming ‘wow this guy is weird’ and they left me alone.

Frankly, they really did help me by pointing that out. From my perspective they were right. There are times and have been times when I’ve acted that way. At that moment those teens yelling at me alerted me to this fact. I thanked them and resolved in my mind to do better when dealing with others. Two points. One, it didn’t bother me that they called me a name.

It illuminated behaviors that I took responsibility for. It was feedback, albeit from an unlikely source surely. Two, I responded nicely. I thanked them and it freaked them out. I wasn’t trying to freak them out. I was thanking them! They didn’t know what to do or say when I responded as I did. That can happen at times.

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They don’t know what to do when you agree because they expect you to push back. Frequently, fighting is just an attempt, an enticement to get push back. It takes two to argue. People may or they may not respond similarly. We just don’t know. But a scripture says, ‘a kind word turns away wrath.’

Personally, I prefer the Peanuts cartoon where Snoopy licks a ranting Lucy who runs off disgusted at having her face licked by a dog. And Snoopy thinks, ‘a kiss turns away wrath’. Think about it. Learn not to be affected by other’s words and deeds. If we succumb to praise, we may succumb to criticism. It’s our ego that welcomes some comments but not others.

Forgive. Let it go. Be nice. Remain calm. Ignore it.  Just imagine they called you a tree house instead. Life is much more fun and interesting when you don’t get hooked by others in the heat of argument. It’s nice when you don’t go down a negative rabbit hole just because someone is trying to upset you or take you there. Spend more time making life nice for yourself. Heck, make all your moments miraculous. Get this next statement and your life will truly transform into awesome. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

 

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“If you can change your mind, you can change your life.” William James

“I’ll be blunt: I’m very disappointed that these secrets are available. I think buying this material should be treated like buying hand guns: You should have to fill out forms and get checked out first to see if you’ll use this wisdom for good or evil. I’ve NEVER seen such powerful techniques or insights. The average psychologist, cold reader, magician, or mentalist doesn’t know these “beyond secret” methods. You could start a cult with this! Far too powerful to be released publicly. Please take your Ultimate NLP Home Study Program package off the market—especially now that I own it.” –Joe Vitale –  Author, 2000

“I am smiling and my heart is beating a little bit faster now, Rex. We go all the way back to the last century and me finding my way in many ways at that point. You helped me during that point because I learned NLP, and some of the communication material came from you. I was sitting at your feet and learning how to apply it in my life and career.

Freedom can be yours BUT if you do nothing, nothing changes!

You sent me cassettes Rex way back in the 1990s, and these were cassettes on communication and NLP. And we had exchanged some things and we had talked and you were very kind to me and very generous with me. I religiously listened to everything I am always studying, always growing, always working on myself and maybe even more intensely back then. Thank you Rex!Joe Vitale -Author, appeared in ‘The Secret’, 2022