Attitude Archives - Page 64 of 72 - Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude

You Screwed Up! How To Get Over It!

“You screwed up! Big or small? It doesn’t matter. We all make mistakes. The big question is what to do when you do make a mistake? How do you keep going?

Okay, this won’t be the first time you heard this. You are human. Humans make mistakes. That is what we do. That is how we learn. From our earliest moment we are screwing up and it is informing us and teaching us.

BUT since we went to school we hate messing up. We hated those red marks on our tests. We were told everything we did wrong. SO we developed an aversion to it. We developed a fear for making mistakes.

We responded out of sorts. We don’t like it. We are afraid of it and feel bad when we screw up.

Stop Focusing On Mistakes

If we focus on what we don’t want we get more of what we don’t want. If we spend time worrying about making mistakes it is more likely we will make them.

If we think ‘don’t screw up’ it is not any different than telling a child ‘don’t spill your mill’. You know what happens when we do that.

Focus On What You Do Well

You have to live fearlessly and expect the best. You need to plan for success and not let mistakes bother you so much. You are so much more than your occasional screw up.

You do more things right than you do wrong. Celebrate that! Embrace this! Accept it! You do plenty of things well and quite well.

How We Learn

As a child you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl and eventually walk by making more movements than were necessary. These movements were way off base. They weren’t at all close to what you need to balance or move forward easily.

When you learned to feed yourself you repeatedly missed your mouth with the spoon getting food all over the place and yourself. You made movements way off base.

You never thought to call them mistakes. They were! They were necessary for you to eventually hone your skills and get the food in your mouth. They were necessary for balance, movement, navigation.

These are called Unwanted Parasitic Movements. Name sounds horrible but you needed to learn how to stop doing them in order to get the spoon to your mouth, for you to sit up, crawl and walk.

They were absolutely required. They were larger than necessary, not even closed to the refined movements you learned to make because of them. It is like coloring outside the lines. You went outside the lines while learning to color inside the lines.

You learned to eliminate all that was unnecessary in order to refine and perform these skills. You got rid of these unwanted parasitic movements to smoothly navigate the spoon to your mouth.

It was all done through repetition. It was all learning. It was all ‘not that way but this way’ when it came to aiming your arm and hand to your mouth.

When you watch an infant sit notice how much it moves as it is learning to sit comfortably still. The infant is learning to balance from all these extraneous movements.

Good thing you couldn’t talk or think about it as you do now, you’d have quit after the first or second try, starved to death and would not be reading this blog.

Accept Mistakes As Part Of Being Human

Mistakes are part of evolving, growing, developing. If you deny making them or get caught up in thinking about them, over thinking about them or worrying about them you will only be miserable.

You will stagnate and prevent yourself from learning valuable lessons. You will make it tougher on yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you make a mistake and say to yourself, ‘You did the best you could. Better luck next time’.

Realize we all make them and they are a part of life. Embrace yourself, forgive yourself. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself for making them. It is absolutely ok.

Yes, there may be consequences and you may need to make restitution for your mistakes that should be understood. That is part of the process.

Don’t shirk your responsibility when a mistake affects others. Ask forgiveness do what you can to rectify it. Be positive and proactive. Do not let it ruin you. Make good on it and get over it.

Mistakes Make You More Attractive

People like people more who are able to forgive themselves and admit their mistakes. It actually makes them more attractive. There is the story of a popular television entertainer who was supposed to run up a flight of stairs during his TV special.

He stumbled and fell. The producers said, ‘don’t worry we can edit it out’. He said ‘leave it in’. He understood that it would make him more human and that the audience would feel for and pull for him seeing him falter but continue to go on. And he was right!

Happy people know this inside. They know that making a mistake is actually a learning experience and an opportunity. Since we all make them and it is probable we will continue to make them the best approach seems to be relaxed acceptance.

Don’t get bent out of shape. Keep moving forward. The more you can celebrate mistakes the less the sting. When you are able to embrace and accept, acknowledge, learn and move on your life takes on a much more wonderful quality.

When you give yourself permission to screw up or fail it takes the sting out of it. You will find yourself hurting less and feeling better more frequently. Attitude is important. It makes all the difference in the world. Keep on making mistakes and keep on learning and growing!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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How To Stop Being An Ass And Keep An Open Mind

“Keep an open mind. You hear about this frequently. You are told to have it, or acquire it, or maintain it. Some people even think they possess one. Do they? Do you? How can you tell when you are open to new ideas or when you shut down?

Do you jump or rush to conclusions? Do you believe there is a right answer to the problem? Do you believe there is only one correct solution to any given situation? Are things cut and dried, black or white, right or wrong? Do you grab onto the first thing that you hear about, or that enters your mind, and establish it as a fact?

Symptoms Of A Closed Mind

When you have a closed mind it is easy to pass judgement. You tend to lock onto things and argue your points or refuse to let go and see that other possibilities exist. Everyone else is wrong! You know it and you can tell. There ought to be a law for goodness sakes!

My definition is simply: Contempt for a new idea prior to examination is a sign of a closed mind.

Many people dismiss out of hand an idea without exploring the merits of the idea simply because it does not fit their existing gestalt or mindset. To quickly refuse to even examine another point of view is a sign that the door to the mind is definitely shut.

What To Do About It

Explore! I always say exploration is the doorway to adventure. Be willing to journey elsewhere in your mind to discover what is possible. You can do this without even leaving where you are at. Simply decide to explore an idea or a concept, and research it. Read about it, examine it while keeping as open minded as possible.

When the tendency to shut down arises, you stop it. When you begin to think this is BS stop it! Hold it in check. Determine to see it all the way through prior to labeling it as bunk. It requires discipline, especially if you are quick to make judgements, but hang in there.

Sometime you habitually shut down so fast it is instantaneous. When you become aware that you are being closed minded and that you have already shut the door, open it back up. It may be difficult but do it anyway. The more you open it back up the better you get.

Awareness is the goal. You want to be able to recognize when you shut down, or are about to shut down so you can do something about it. Be grateful when you become aware that you are closed minded because that is when you can begin to change it.

Ask questions. Become curious

Examine your own judgements and try to determine from where they arise. Do you base your opinions on something you saw or heard, are these from your past? Did you learn them from someone? Who else specifically that you know thinks or believes as you do? Who is it that believes these particular idea to be true?

Ask Yourself Directed Questions™

Direct your mind to positive things you can think about. Wonder in your mind how it might be better. Look for how you might enjoy the different possibilities. Ask questions that lead you into the behaviors you want to acquire or do more reliably.

How delighted will I be to discover I am able to entertain new ideas, that I otherwise might have resisted? In how many different ways am I easily and naturally able to stay open and enjoy new ideas? How soon can will I begin to enjoy the benefits of keeping an open mind and entertaining new view points? How much fun can I have in exploring new ideas and topics?

Challenge Your Own Thoughts

You can boot strap it and challenge your own thoughts. You can ask questions such as Who specifically says this is true? What makes it true? How is that possible? How might it be otherwise?

Who holds other contrary views? What realistic reasons may they have for holding their point of view? What might I be missing? Do I know everything about everything? Who died and left me god?

In other words, be willing to look for and find other authorities who may have very valid reasons for holding these new ideas. By the way, the ideas may be ancient they may only be new to you. OR they may be brand new ideas. Challenge your own infallibility. This is important.

None Of Us Enjoy Being Wrong

We seek to be consistent in our beliefs. We do not like it when ideology conflicts. So we dismiss it before given it the time it is due. You need to ask yourself whether you view point is accurate 100% of the time.

You can ask, ‘Always? In every single circumstance? Is it true for everyone, everywhere in the world through all time?’ OR ‘Never? Has there never been a single example of it being otherwise? Nobody in the entire world for all time never ever felt differently?’

You might ask, What causes you to think this way? What examples, evidence or experiences do you have for maintaining this point of view? Are their reasons from your past why it is important for you to maintain this position?

What would happen, or be the worst that would happen if you didn’t think this? What would happen if you held the other person’s point of view? How would you, or the world change if you didn’t believe this? Is it possible there are other points of view?

Apply The 100% Test

If something isn’t true 100% of the time why limit yourself? If you don’t have a monopoly on the truth why act as if you do? Let some of these things go. Learn something new. If you aren’t god why act like it? Broaden your horizons. Educate yourself in new ways of thinking and being. Examine things from different perspectives or points of view.

If it isn’t true for all time and all people in all places there are things to learn. Learn about different cultures and practices in different places and times. Expose yourself to new thought and new ways to think and be. Reflect on how it is possible for people to believe and think different things.

Listen

Listen to listen. Listen to undertand. Listen to Learn. Listen without speaking or challenging or arguing. Listen for no reason at all except to better understand and appreciate the speaker and her point of view. Too many of us are only waiting our turn while listening. We are waiting to speak and make our points rather than to reflect on and understand his points.

Ask questions to understand not to counter argue. Ask for clarification. State back in their words what you understand the person to have said and listen to the other person clarify it for you. Determine if you understood what they meant.

Hear it. Pay attention. Seek understanding. This means you are active in the process. You are accepting and open and available and interested in their point of view.

Sometimes when listening this way and they are finished do nothing but accept it. Don’t provide your views. Sit with it. Let them be heard. Appreciate the other person and their point of view without making your points. Silence at times is golden. At other times share and contribute.

Meditation

Mediation is great for helping to keep an open mind. Especially beneficial are those forms of mediation where you watch thoughts come and go without attaching to any of them. When you are able to be quiet and simply witness thoughts arising you can become free of them. You can become open to many new awarenesses.

The Benefits Of An Open Mind

When you are able to view many options simultaneously without closing down an entire new world of possibilities opens up to you. The world becomes more alive and so do you. Everything is more colorful and flavorful.

You have more choices. There are more options. You discover there is more to enjoy than you previously allowed.

You can begin to think outside the box. You become free. You are freed of the weight of thinking you know all the answers. Nothing keeps people back as much as not considering alternatives. When the mind snaps shut you close off to opportunities and advantages that may be beneficial to you. Literally, you are not able to see them.

You explore new territory and venture further than you could before. You not only think outside the box but you can move beyond old boundaries. Instead of stopping yourself where you used to you now give yourself permission to go further. The further you go the more you are able to see.

You open up to more fun because you are willing to entertain new ideas and try new things. You can play more, experiment and enjoy discovering. Life does become an adventure when you are willing to explore. You may even try new foods, clothes and places to go. Who knows?

When your mind is flexible you are better equipped to examine options and find solutions to problems. After all, there are many ways to bake a cake, cook an egg, make a bed. There are many roads to Rome. Lot’s of ways to dive into a pool…

You don’t get stuck trying the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. Your thinking expands and your world expands. More flexibility means more options. More options means more solutions. More solutions means greater possibilities!

Change happens. You change! When you are open, exploring and having fun you can change your thoughts to serve you better. Your thoughts and beliefs must change first if you want to change your behaviors and keep the changes. You can think better, feel better and learn to develop positive new habits.

As you change you become filled with more positive energy. You become more alive. More affirming. You become more tolerant and accepting. You include more into your world. We become freer and lighter and have more physical energy when we are not resisting and trying to maintain everything. Your thoughts are positive so is your energy.

You are less negative, more tolerant, having more fun and more fun loving. You can enjoy better health, better relationships with family and friends and associates. You can devote more time to that which is truly important. There is far less to argue about and divide you from others. You may become more loving and have a greater ability to be loved because you let go and accept others for who they are.

When we let go of how others and the world is wrong; when we drop intolerance for positions other than are own; when we are able to embrace new ideas and people and include more in are life incredible things happen. We find more friends and fellowship.

When we get entrenched and spend out energy defending our positions we are wasting energy. It isn’t worth it. Instead, we conserve and direct our energy, we focus it in beneficial ways.

We can all point to someone we think is closed minded. Don’t be just like that person! Be open. Accept and embrace that person and allow that person to be who s/he is.

If that person never comes around to your way of thinking so what? What is the worst that can happen? Can you love and accept that person anyways? Go on give it a try! And while you are at it love, accept and embrace yourself!” Rex Sikes

Imagine how wonderful today can be!

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Dream Big: Don’t Let The Details Stop You!

“What do successful people have in common? What is their mind set and behaviors? Why do they succeed while others don’t? Is there a difference between them and the other people?

Can you do what they do to get the results they have? Yes absolutely!

It is important to know what you want and to dream big.

Know your definite chief purpose and develop a burning desire or passion for it’s fulfillment.

Dream big and keep the dream before you in your minds’s eye. Think about it day and night. What consumes you controls you.

Don’t fret about the details.

Do not get caught up in the how. Do not let not knowing how you might accomplish it stop you from going after it. Go after it.

Go as far as you can go and when you get there you will see farther. Enjoy your dream. Make it fun and delightful to make it happen.

What you think about you become.

What you focus on you get. What you think about you bring about. So imagine your big dream as already completed.

Imagine what it is like to be there already. How does it feel to have made it happen? Enjoy these feelings! Let these feelings move you forward.

If life were perfect how would it feel?

How would it feel to be, do and have everything you want? Don’t just answer, ‘it’d feel great!’ FEEL IT!

Accentuate and savor the feelings. Live these feelings again and again each day. Let them drive you. This is what you want after all. You want to feel more of this. THIS, these feeling is what it is about.

Never get hung up in the details when you can feel this way.

The details will resolve themselves and you will find a way. You will develop a plan for making your dream come true.

The the more you keep it alive in your mind the more it will become clear to you. Follow your plan as it unfolds. You don’t need plans to be perfect or in their entirety the entire plan prior to beginning because plans change.

All people who succeed big pursue their dreams

People who succeed pursue their dreams and work their plans. The are dedicated and on target but flexible to change their plans along the way. The persist and adapt.

They never give up they just adjust as needed. They never let a detail stop them from getting what they want. It never occurs to them that they won’t succeed.

Read biographies of top achievers

Read the biographies of those who succeed and you will begin to see the elements they share in common. I share these here in these blog pages for you to read and re-read.

Successful people keep the big picture in mind and never let the specifics deter them. The goal is getting to the destination not how they are going to get there. Keep this in mind!

As for the journey delight in it.

Keep this in mind too! Delight in not knowing. It gives you opportunity to trust yourself and know that you are moving forward anyway.

Celebrate that good things are coming and happening to you even if you don’t know when or how. Have fun on the journey and delight in all things. When you get there you will see farther.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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How To Become A Real Winner

“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?

Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?

Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?

Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?

Your Expectations Set The Frame

According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.

In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.

When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.

When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.

Expect To Win

Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.

Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.

When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.

Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.

It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.

It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.

Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.

You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.

If you know you can win; if you never quit but keep on going you will.

How You Begin Winning

Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.

Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.

Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself looking, feeling and doing what you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.

Read and Listen to inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.

Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.

Isn’t It Difficult

Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.

This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!

Two Great Quotes

When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan

You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.

When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,

Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.

Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

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Do This If The Results You Get Suck: Do This To Win!

“Why do I repeat themes in blogs? Why should you re-read inspirational material? Why look at posters and keep motivational sayings in your eyesight? Why repeat affirmations and positive question and make mental movies again and again? Why? Why? Why?

Skill Is Developed By Rehearsal And Practice

Because muscles grows through repetitive exercise. Skill IS developed by rehearsal and practice. Memory and learning is enhanced by repeated exposure. Habits are formed over time by repeating the same behaviors.

Some of us miss the obvious each and every time! Again and again we just don’t notice it in front of us. It is difficult in this busy age to get and keep one’s attention. Messages are repeated over and over and over again to create awareness. Once is not enough.

Imagine if the piston in your car pumped only one time and stopped. In order to move your auto’s engine has to repeat the same behavior over and over again. In order to grow and develop positive, powerful, automated habits that serve you productively you have to repeat the skill set over and over again without quitting.

So I repeat messages in a variety of ways. I repeat important themes and points and practices. This way your mind is continually bombarded, so long as you read my posts, with an important theme. You become what you think about. You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about.

What You Rehearse And Practice Is Critical

If you are not getting what you want in life then you aren’t doing the right things to get them. If your results are not what you want, or they are poor you aren’t doing what is necessary to make them better. If you are worried, fearful, anxious or blaming, if you see lack, debt and unhappiness then you are focused on what you do not want.

What is predominant in your mind is not what you do want but what you do not like about your present circumstances. What occupies your attention isn’t all the good things, but how things aren’t right. You never become rich thinking poor thoughts. You never get happy blaming others. In order to get what you want you have to be focused mostly on what you want. That is the way it works!!!

If you are thinking about what you don’t want most of the time, out of habit, or for whatever reason, THAT IS WHAT YOU are rehearsing and practicing. The lackluster or poor or negative results are a result of what you are doing over and over again.

You are practicing. You are mentally rehearsing. You are creating and YOU are getting exactly what you don’t want because that is what you are inadvertently focused on. You may think you are focused on what you want but you aren’t.

YOU MUST REALIZE You Are Always Creating

You cannot NOT create. You may be creating what you want or what you don’t want THAT is up to what you are doing. If you don’t like what you are getting STOP doing it! Stop creating it! Stop it!

START creating what you do want! In order to do that YOU must change what you are thinking about and how you are thinking about it. If you want your life to change then you must change things in your life.

YOU must think predominantly, most all of the time, positively, about what you DO WANT in order to get what you want! You must fill your mind with what you want to be, do and have. This must become your obsession, what you think about most of the time.

Your results show you what you are focused on. If you feel less than glorious your feelings are informing you what you are focused on. If your self talk is critical of self or others, if it is blaming and negative, your self talk is telling you what you are focused on.

Only YOU Have’t Gotten The Message Yet

To change and make life better you can’t be focused on how things aren’t working well. You have to choose to think better thoughts, make better mental images, manage your self-talk and powerfully affirm positive messages and stay focused on these. You must stay focused on what you DO want NOT what you don’t want.

I want you to realize that anything you think you need to make changes you already possess within you. Yes, you may have to tap deep to find and utilize under utilized skills and resources but you already have what you need. That is great news! You have the abilities!

You may have to learn how to control your attention, take responsibility, make a decision and stick with it but those abilities are already yours. You may need to grow those muscles strong. They only grow strong through repeated use, repetition and opposition.

I remind you with these articles.

You Bring About What You Think About

I invite you to visit frequently throughout the day and read and re-read posts and blogs. Through repeated exposure you will begin to ‘get it’ if you haven’t already. Through repeated application of the principles you grow the muscles necessary to transform your life.

Transformation CAN happen in an instant! It need not take much time at all. Transformation can occur slowly over weeks, months and years. Whatever happens, however it happens, whenever it happens is completely up to you. It will happen just stick with it!

For some it will occur more quickly, for others not as fast. It doesn’t matter. Don’t compare yourself to others. That is silly. Just keep at it and have fun. Even if you change bit by bit you are changing. Have fun and delight in the process, be thrilled with your journey. Celebrate everything!

The goal is to feel good, enjoy life, live in high vibrations. Have fun, and delight. Imagine being filled with joy. Your thoughts, your beliefs, your attitudes determine whether you find blessings or not. These determine whether you feel good or not and what you will or will not do.

Transformation Can Happen In An Instant

Take control! Take responsibility. Ensure that you think and believe the very best. Make your attitude serve you and not the other way around. Take charge! Live as a champion! Live as victor. Live as a winner! Live as a person who creates what you want!

Fill your mind with powerful, inspirational, motivational thoughts and you feel better and are more productive. It works but you have to keep at it until it becomes a habit. After that you keep at it because it is habit and because you enjoy it.

Remember, the goal is to feel the best you are able to at any time. Sometimes that means out of the universe joyful bliss while at other times that means okay. Seek to feel as good as possible and you will learn to feel better and better more and more of the time.

Do not wait for it to happen. It won’t! Do not think others can do it for you. They can’t. Only you can do it and it is now or never. Some day never arrives. Magic can happen but realize you are the magician. Allow yourself to feel blessed. Allow yourself to receive good things. Get out of your own way and enjoy!

Fill Your Mind With Gratitude And Celebration

That is why I repeat over again important messages. If you haven’t taken complete charge yet, the hope is that, some day you might. You may just have to hear the message enough times to make the important decision. Then, on that day, you will.

You may have to read it many times until you finally say, ‘enough already, I am changing the way I live! I accept 100% responsibility and I am going to make the difference in my life. I am going to stop creating what I do not want and begin creating what I do want!’

In that moment, with that decision, and what happens right after that moment, your life can instantly change for the better. A decision is not an actual decision until you follow through. The second you decide and you actually act on it is when the decision is made.

THEN let nothing ever deter you from that decision. Keep at it. You can not fail you can only quit. If you never quit and you do the right things consistently long enough, soon you will have what you want.

From the very moment you act on your decision your life will begin to transform. It is absolutely so wonderful, you will be amazed and find it incredible. Celebrate!” Rex Sikes

How will you make the most of this wonderful new day?

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How To Stop Self Sabotage And BeFriend Your Mind

“The unconscious mind doesn’t make a distinction between wanted or unwanted, good or bad it just goes where your energy consistently flows. It goes wherever you place your attention. Soil doesn’t care whether it is growing food or poison.

Whatever is planted and nurtured will grow. What have you planted AND what are you nurturing? The results you are getting tells you the answer.

If your you don’t like the results you are getting that tells you you are focused on the wrong things. You are focused on what you don’t want too much of the time. By focusing on what you don’t want, or spending time complaining about the results you stay stuck.

If results are haphazard and not consistent; if you keep trying but still keep failing or something is holding you back and you feel in a holding pattern then you are mixed positive and negative. Sometimes you are more one than the other but you go back and forth.

When you are mixed positive and negative there is no predominant thought so results are mixed and inconsistent. It means you drift or are wishy washy in this regard. To get the results you want requires commitment. It requires persistent consistent action.

You Get What You Focus On

You become what you think about most during the day and night. What you think about you bring about. If you spend most of your time outdoors, in the sun, in a bathing suit you can expect to tan. If you spend most of your time indoors, bundled up, out of the sun you can expect not to tan.

The results you get are due to the predominant time you spend thinking either positive or negative thoughts. Unfortunately, most people, because of habit, because of doing it for so long, aren’t even aware of how negative they are. They don’t realize how much of their power they give away through worry, blaming others, the world, events and even themselves.

If you are mostly filled with fear, or doubt, or complaints and blame this is what you will have in life. One thought produces another and another. Our brains work this way. We make associations, we have triggers, there are neural pathways.

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

If you are mostly filled with joy, confidence and optimism you will get more of this in your life. Positive thinking isn’t magic it is developing a strong winner’s mindset. It doesn’t make the world better it makes YOU better. When you are better you make your way in the world better.

This is why it is worth it to take charge of your thinking.

If you aren’t getting the results you want then you need to do something in order to get them.

The first step is to assume total responsibility for what you think. Your thoughts determine your feelings. Learn to become aware of what you are thinking when you are thinking it. Catch yourself when you think negatively and change it.

It Is Great To Know What You Do Not Want BUT There Is More

Once you know what you don’t want you must turn your attention from what you don’t want and to what you do want. Then focus completely on what you do want to make happen. Keep your attention and energy there. Remember, YOU GET what YOU FOCUS ON!

It is okay to have negative feelings because they inform you when you are off track and focusing on what you don’t want. Utilize them. Use you fear or anger or sadness to move away from those very same feelings. Get to that ‘enough is enough’ place inside you! Make it a point to get sick and tired of being ‘sick and tired’. Think ‘never again’ and then turn your attention to focus on what you do want.

The Knack, The Trick, The Key …

The knack, the trick, the key is to keep turning your attention to what you want, what you want to create, what you want to attract, what you want to feel and away from what you do not want, what you feel bad about and negative thinking.

You have to KEEP turing your attention to what you DO want to think and feel; what you can do productively and how resourceful you already are and how wonderful life is UNTIL it becomes an automatic positive habit. THEN your subconscious mind takes over and helps you begin to get the results you desire.

In order to do this you become must become aware. You must notice when you aren’t so that you can focus your attention positively. You take charge. You make yourself responsible for everything! THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MINDSET TO ADOPT!

You stop whining and complaining. You direct and manage your self-talk, you ask Directed Questions™, you direct your internal movies and imagine what you want as if you already had it. You repeat your questions and affirmations and mental movies throughout the day.

Whatever You Planted And Nurture Grows

You fill your mind with positive thoughts. The goal is to have fun and feel the best you can most of the time. The goal is to enjoy the process and have a wonderful life not only as an end result but during the journey. In order to do this you need to feed and nurture your mind and being.

Read inspirational material. Listen to inspirational audio programs. Hang with positive inspirational people. Attend inspirational events. Think of the 80/20 rule. At least 80 percent of your time should be focused on being positive, powerful, confident, happy, healthy and having fun. The scale should tip in your favor.

If this sounds like a lot, it may seem like it to start. When it comes down to it it isn’t. There is no substitute for having a marvelous experience. Either you do or you don’t. If you want life to be more juicy fun and delightful it will be up to you to make it that way.

The Easiest Way To Begin

The easiest way for some people to begin is to think or and write out a handful of positive statements or affirmations that are meaningful to you. Think about them and say out loud. Chant them with enthusiasm while driving or alone. Saying them out loud with lots of powerful emotions is great! It speeds things up!

Even easier is to put the affirmation statement into the form of Directed Questions™. For example, you can say ‘I am lucky’. AND you can ask a lot of questions around this.

You might ask, ‘How soon will I discover how incredibly lucky I am?’ ‘In how many ways am I lucky that I haven’t even yet begun to imagine? Isn’t it amazing to discover things really work out the best for me? In how many ways can I begin to appreciate how lucky I am?What must I do to convince myself that I and I alone create my own good fortune?

How easily can I always remember that I am a lucky person? Isn’t it marvelous things always work out for me? How soon will I fully and completely recognize that I always land on my feet? What are the many different ways I feel luckiest?’

You can replace luck with confidence, courage, loving, positive, peaceful, strong, smart any positive attribute you desire. Ask these questions again and again and again. You don’t have to know the answer the answer is not the point. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask.

It Won’t Grow If You Don’t Plant It – To Get Results You Must Act

Pick a topic and ask questions, add new positive ones in. Ask in clusters. Wonder, really wonder. Affirm what you want with positive feeling and strong conviction. Fill yourself with positivity and productive options. It gets so much easier, fun and exciting as you go along.

The difficult part to understand is that you will not see new results unless you fully engage in the process. I say ‘try it’ to whet your appetite but dabbling won’t bring you the results you want ONLY commitment will.

Once you commit you can discover the world as your oyster. New possibilities will open up to you. You will make good things start happening. You will feel, think and act better!

It most likely won’t happen over night. It could, but it may not. Everyone has different experiences. Let it go. Just make it a point to get on the ride and enjoy the ride. It is the only way to make an incredible difference for yourself.

Grab hold of all life has to offer you today. Take control of yourself, your thoughts and feelings and the soon you will realize that the benefits outweigh any of the necessary activity to get them!” Rex Sikes

In how many different ways are you excited about this day?

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Do This When You Need To Overcome Difficulties: It Works!

“Would you like to make things better now and in the future? Would you like to learn how to more easily overcome difficult times and challenges? Wouldn’t it be cool to know in advance which obstacles might arise and how to handle them when they do? Now you can!

This is an old article of mine. I have updated aspects of it and will share those in a future post, but this article is earlier groundwork. It provides the basic method for going after what you want and for trouble shooting challenges and resolving problems that can arise.

Through my recent posts you will learn how to appropriately and powerfully visualize, and manage your positive self talk so that you can readily recognize the powerful creator you already are. Use this process to create success. Use this process BEFORE you need it.

This is a road map you use for success, complete with alternative routes. This process builds in the contingencies you need when the going get rough. It constitutes rehearsal and practice. It is the same mental strategy a successful sports team would utilize.

So you understand. Mind Design™ is my process of learning new abilities. It is my approach to personal and professional change. I conduct workshops and training around the world and have audio products available. It is also the umbrella process or meta method through which I taught other personal development programs.

Enjoy this early article.

‘Why Traditional Visualization Doesn’t Work And How You Can Modify It To Get The Results You Want

by Rex Sikes

Now that you can ask yourself new questions, you also want to get your visualizations in order. I am sure you have heard of visualization. This is where people tell you to visualize your goals, dreams, plans, or how you want things to be. Usually people make still-frame pictures in their head of the goal being accomplished, e.g. depositing money in the bank, or their kids all grown up and successful.

What makes Mind Design™ different from visualization is that we have created three steps in creating visualizations. Without these three steps, visualizations just don’t work well at all and you’ll just be wasting your time.

Three Important Steps For Effective Visualizations

Visualize the accomplished goal or outcome. Example: Salesperson depositing large commission check in the bank.
Make a movie of how you achieved the goal. What steps did you take to achieve your success? Visualize the steps in detail. Visualize yourself doing all the right things to get your outcome, and visualize everything going perfectly. Example: Salesperson making more calls and customers responding by being pleasant and purchasing items.
Build a contingency plan. Visualize yourself taking all the steps toward your goal and visualize everything going wrong and how you overcame the difficulty. Example: Salesperson making more calls and customers do not respond. Visualize what the salesperson did to get customer to respond more favorably.

Besides only making pictures of the goal being attained (Step 1), you make a movie of how you get the goal (Step 2). For example a salesperson wants to make more sales and money. Instead of just visualizing depositing more money in the bank, a Mind Design™ salesperson visualizes the actual steps they took to make more sales.

(2) The salesperson visualizes them doing all the right things and people responding in all the right ways to increase their sales and their money. But the Mind Design™ salesperson also does something which is the most crucial; THE THIRD STEP… This person visualizes a movie of all the possible obstacles and how they got over all of them.

Ordinarily, this third step is what people do to program their mind for failure because they imagine everything going wrong, but not what they did to overcome it. Using this method, you program your mind for how to overcome adversity along the way if you encounter it.

Stop Programming Failure Start Programming Success

When you learn how to run your brain then a world of endless possibility and opportunity becomes available. Unfortunately, for most people, it is left to chance and that is why success is usually a matter of luck.

I want to teach you the science and the art of making your dreams come true. The science because it is actually steps that you can implement, recipes, formulas proven through time to work for you and the art because your creativity with the science will enable you to realize your dreams and design for yourself the kind of life you truly want and deserve.

Your brain can give you everything you want when you give it a clear bright focused image of what you want and how you are planning to go about getting it. If you don’t know what you want your brain can’t give it to you. But when you know what you want, and you send precise, direct and intense signals, your mind has the power to give you what you want.

You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are. Results are inevitable. If your don’t provide your brain with the programming to get your results, your goals you desire someone else will provide the programming. If you don’t have a program for your life someone else is going to make you fit into their plan.’

Well, there you have it! That is the original article. AS I stated, this was early development and I have added and adjusted through the years. It was and is still powerfully effective when you apply it. You begin to get results because it requires that you program your mind for success and to overcome difficulties.

Rehearse And Practice The Correct Elements To Succeed

A sports team practices to maximize their chances of winning. A successful actor rehearses so on opening night it goes according to plan. Never under estimate the value of mental rehearsal and actual rehearsal. Through this visualization process you practice and rehearse success!

That is what practice of ‘act as if’ is all about. You repeatedly engage your mind in making the correct, positive images and self-talk thoughts until you firmly ‘wire it in’. You imagine and act (in your mind) as though you have already accomplished your goal. This is an incredibly powerful practice and skill to develop.

When you ‘act as if’ you discover what you need to do to manifest it. You begin to understand the steps you need to take to get the results you want. By repeating this process over and over you create a habit.

Create The Habits That Get You Success

Once you make your skills a reliable positive habit you put yourself on autopilot for success. You begin to automatically think and act like a winner. You make success happen. You persist and you accomplish! You become unstoppable because you don’t let anything throw you off course.

Determine what you want, specify your goal or dream or target. See your self succeeding, imagine yourself getting there and having what you want. Be sure to see, imagine and rehearse succeeding, overcoming obstacles and objections when and if things do not go as you hope and want. Build, rehearse and practice your contingency plans prior to actually needing them. Visualize these over and over.

When you use your mind deliberately in positive ways you can conceive, believe and achieve your goals. You can create and accomplish your dreams. If you want a more wonderful future, if you want to get the kind of results you deserve to get, begin today to run your mind. Take charge of what you do on the inside and you will get the kind of things you want on the outside. That IS how it works!” Rex Sikes

What will you do today to put more smiles on your face?

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Do This Whenever You Feel Upset, Down And Out! It Helps!

“Does it sometimes seem no matter what you do things just won’t work? Do you ever just feel down and out? When you feel bad have you noticed what you think and do that makes you feel worse? If so, you need to make an immediate change even when you may not feel like it.

Doing the same thing over and over but hoping for a different result has been called the definition of insanity because it is. We tend to drive ourselves crazy that way. We want it different and we want a change but we do nothing to make it different, we change nothing, but still hope it is different. THIS is wishing and magical thinking.

Somehow, we hope someone or something will come and rescue us. That magically the events or circumstances will change. THIS is a victim mentality. Instead of taking charge and changing things to make them better we do nothing to improve the situation but we complain about it and feel bad about it.

If You Want Your Life To Change Life You Must Change Some Things

One of the powerful ways to make certain things will be different is to watch what you say to yourself. Literally, become aware of your self-talk; the thoughts you say inside our head and out loud. Be aware of what you are seeing and imagining; picturing inside your minds that you react to.

We all have automatic habitual ways of talking to ourselves in less than gloriously when things get tough. We may even have chronic bad thinking which insures that things never actually get much better. With poor thinking we just live in some less than glorious holding pattern.

What we say to ourselves, what we think, governs how we feel and behave. We are either inspired and motivated or fatigued and defeated. Our attitude determines what we can and will do. If we speak poorly to ourselves we will get poor results. It will not be any other way. Most of us are aren’t aware of how negative we actually are.

Yes, we know some of the negative talk but most of it, because it is habitual, happens outside our awareness. This is why we need to become aware of what we are saying on the inside and the outside too. As we become aware we can make a real and significant difference. How readily do you complain to others?

You can change this! The key is to manage your self-talk and make it positively influence you. To do this it is necessary to replace a bad habit with a good one. Yes, it may seem difficult but if you do nothing you are can be assured that nothing will change. We can make positive thinking and self talk automatic! Wouldn’t that be nice?

You Need To Watch What You Say To Yourself

You need to watch what you say to others about yourself! Watch the words that you speak. When you talk to yourself and others about yourself always talk in positive terms. Remember, I have said in previous blogs only speak that which blesses, heals and prospers.

Never let the situation, events or others have the upper hand by speaking negatively about yourself or them. Never describe or talk about negative situations because you only reinforce them when you do.

Always speak encouraging, positive, nurturing words to and about yourself. Say positive things you can repeat through out the day. Repeat them, again and again.

Repeat Positive Thoughts, Directed Questions™ And Affirmations Throughout The Day

While it may take some time to get the hang of this, or for you to see or feel the results, the longer you put off doing this the longer you remain the same. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life.

You can’t do the same things and expect things to be different. When you truly decide to take charge and be responsible for what you think and do everything in your life can change for the better.

More to come! In my upcoming blog posts I’ll share with you more examples of Directed Questions™ and powerful affirmative statements you can utilize to change how you feel and how you think. It is important to take hold of the mechanisms within you that allow you to excel and accomplish you goals and dreams. Re-read previous posts!

One of the easiest and simplest ways to initiate change for yourself is through the use of Directed Questions™. As I previously mentioned these direct your mind without encountering resistance.

After all, it is something you are wondering about so you aren’t creating any conflict. Directed Questions™ grease the wheel and are an excellent way to begin.

The Way To Feeling And Being Better Is Already Within You

You have everything you need inside. The deception we have all bought into is that help comes from the outside. We think money, friends, a better job, car or home, will make us happy. We put our faith in things or in pills and bottles when we should put our faith in ourselves. YOU are resourceful, whether you currently know it or not!

Faith in things outside of you won’t help but faith in yourself will! You may not see it yet because of years of previous conditioning. You may even approach these concepts through your old habitual thinking. How else could you unless you decide to make a change?

You Want A Better Life Ask Yourself Better Questions

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings and life will be so much more. Even when troubled times arise you will be better equipped to handle them. You will create and attract and discover more wonderful times too. You will steer your mental ship where you want to go successfully navigating all waters.

We become what we think about day and night. We operate from what consumes us and occupies our mind. You want different results the first step is you need to decide to think differently. You need to decide and then do! You need to act and follow through on your new decision. Do you want your life to be marvelous?

You will live more fully and enjoy more opportunity and advantages than you may have ever known. Begin today. Decide today. Nothing will change without your decision. Make it now! Begin to live well! Live the way you are meant to!” Rex Sikes

What can you do right now to make today incredible?

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Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters By Rex Sikes

“You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see, when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

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For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

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See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes”

Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today?

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today? Celebrate Everything!” Rex Sikes

JOIN me to know how and to DO more of what you’re truly capable of being!

PS: LEARN HOW TO POSITIVELY AND POWERFULLY use language to begin getting incredible results to be happier, healthier and wealthier? Learn how to program your brain for best outcomes and results and to become more influential with others to create win/win outcomes and help those you care about? THEN Register Now For This Free Webinar TODAY! Be sure to take notes!

“Mr. Sikes, You have demonstrated once again your wisdom, maturity and WHY you are considered to be one of the most, if not THE most respected NLP trainer in the field today.” – Carl Matus, Rockford, IL

“I’ll be blunt: I’m very disappointed that these secrets are available. I think buying this material should be treated like buying hand guns: You should have to fill out forms and get checked out first to see if you’ll use this wisdom for good or evil. I’ve NEVER seen such powerful techniques or insights. The average psychologist, cold reader, magician, or mentalist doesn’t know these “beyond secret” methods. You could start a cult with this! Far too powerful to be released publicly. Please take your NLP Home Study Program package off the market—especially now that I own it.” – Joe Vitale, Author, “There’s A Customer Born Every Minute” & “The Secret”

“I am beyond happy to call Rex Sikes my mentor and friend. I’m so happy to have invested into his NLP home study course. Which he has taught many successful people in the past 40 years. Here’s a testimony from Joe Vitale from the movie the secret. If anyone is interested in joining the course. Feel free to reach out to me.” Lynn Serrano -TV host, 2022

“I have very much enjoyed–and benefited from–Rex’s Ultimate NLP Home Study Course™. They are, by far, the best presentation of NLP material that I have ever listened to. Top notch stuff. Thanks for producing, and making available on audio, this excellent program.” –Bryan O’Conner, Chicago, IL

“Rex, we go all the way back to the last century and me finding my way in many ways at that point. You helped me during that point because I learned NLP, and some of the communication material came from you. I was sitting at your feet and learning how to apply it in my life and career. I am always studying, always growing, always working on myself. Thank you Rex! Joe Vitale – Author, appeared in ‘The Secret’, 2022

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If for some reason link does not work – contact support@rexsikes.com

Join us todayfor this life-transforming webinar.

Much love, peace and blessings!

Rex Sikes

PS I’m going to keep telling you about this until you join us!

“I give this course a massive thumbs up! And to put it into perspective I was already an NLP trainer when I came across this course some years back and I was blown away by the content in it and the way it is taught. Rex really knows his stuff and the content is amazing. Buy it! I mean every word.” Barry Neale – NLP trainer 2021

“My personal development journey took a turn for the better back in 1996 when I was fortunate enough to be trained and mentored by Rex Steven Sikes.” Joe Soto -Entrepreneur, Marketing Consultant, VA 2020

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Did You Know You Hold The Power To Transform Your Life?

“You may not realize it but did you know that you already hold the key to your transformation? You have it available and you use it every day but you haven’t used it in the powerful way you could be using it to get incredible results! Wouldn’t you like to know what it is so you could put it to work positively for you?

I bet you would. So here it is. In the past few blogs I brought up the transformative power of asking yourself Directed Questions™ to help you focus on and get what you want in life. Here is another article I wrote on the subject. All of my home study audios and videos from the 1980’s on include this powerful work. You can get this information and the power to change right now.

Why Affirmations Don’t Work And How You Can Replace Them With Directed Questions™ To Get The Results You Want

The way you feel and what you experience comes from where you focus your attention and determines how you are going to behave. Successful people know that you must control not only what you focus on but how you focus .

They have learned to take control of their emotions and run their own brain — that means taking control of what you are picturing in your mind and how you are picturing it, what you are saying to your self and how you are saying it. When you get control over these things, this will allow you to determine how you feel.

When you focus, you limit your attention. If you are not focused on success you will miss all the opportunities success brings. In life, we get what we focus on.

Remember this: What you focus on, you get.

People who do affirmations are wasting their time because they are actually setting up internal conflicts that cause them to activate the opposite of what they want! When people look into the mirror and say, “In every day and in every way, I am getting better and better,” a part of their mind comes back and says, “bull!”

Doesn’t it? It is just like if I told you that you have a blue shirt on when you actually have a red one on! I say, “nice blue shirt” and you say, “it’s not blue, it’s red.” Then I say, “it’s blue”, and you say “no, it’s red” … we could go on like this forever… which is exactly what happens for most people when they do affirmations.

Instead of engaging yourself in this confrontive struggle with yourself, you could begin to ask yourself questions instead. Questions will always get you an answer. Questions change what you focus on.

They get you to focus on either what is good about you, your environment, or your behavior, or what is bad about you, your environment, or your behavior. An affirmation in the form of a question is 300 or 400 times more effective and will literally train your brain to translate the affirmations into your behavior.

Why Questions are More Powerful than Affirmations

Brains learn quickly to move in directions. Questions direct the mind. They divide experience and lead our attention. Questions demand an answer. And since it is a question which our brain may not know the answer to yet, it will search to give us an answer.

If, when we ask the question, we include more of what we want in our life, our brain will search to provide us with those things which we included in our question and the answer.

Asking yourself questions is one of the greatest things you can learn for yourself. Questions set your reality. Think about it. If I say, “what did you do on Friday?” Where does your mind go? It goes to look for an answer. If I say “how old are you?” You know the answer. If I say, “what did you do last summer?”, “What is your occupation?”, “Who was your best friend when you were a child?”… You are causing your mind to come up with an answer.

Sometimes you won’t have the answer right away. Sometimes you may have to ask another question like, “gee, who was it?” You are sending your mind in a direction.

According to anthropologists, people are “meaning makers.” In other words, people will ask themselves “what does this mean to me?”, “what is in it for me?”, or “what should I do?” It is the questions we ask ourselves that create meaning for ourselves. And you have a choice as to what exactly those questions are going to be.

Are you going to ask yourself questions that get you bad results, like “how come I’m so stupid?” or are you going to ask yourself questions that get you good results like “how soon will I begin to realize how wonderful I am?”

The kinds of things you ask yourself are critical. If you say “gee, how come I am so stupid?”, your brain goes “because when you were a child you didn’t eat Wheaties, you didn’t have corn flakes, you didn’t grow up right and it was your parents fault.” Or because “you are a slow learner” — because someone told you that when you were a child. Or because “you aren’t disciplined enough”, or “you have great potential but you’ll never really amount to anything”…

Whatever it might be, when you say “how come I’m like this?”, your brain will answer and it will come up with a reason no matter how logical or illogical it is. The number one thing in our culture, bar none is that when someone in our culture says “why” someone says “because”.

When you say to yourself, “I don’t understand this” or “I don’t get it” you are reinforcing anything that you do not understand yet. You are making it much tougher on yourself . You are impeding your learning. On the other hand, if you say, “I wonder how soon before this begins to make sense? I wonder how quickly before I am going to be delighted in discovering what is new about this? I wonder how soon before I delight and amaze myself?” you begin to send your brain in the direction that is useful for you.

As you ask yourself those questions, your brain may not come up with the quick “because” answer because you are posing a question to yourself that you don’t yet know the answer to. Wouldn’t it be a lot more fun finding out? Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting to think “gee, I wonder how exquisitely talented I can become? I wonder how I can use language to do things that I never yet before considered possible?

I wonder who I am going to find that presents a challenge and I wonder how I am going to delight and amaze myself in overcoming that challenge and doing that in ways that I never before thought possible?” Does that sound like a more useful way to begin looking at the world? … a more useful way, a way that brings you more delight, more pleasure and speeds up the amount of time in which you learn anything?

We have told ourselves a lot of things in our lives. A lot of them aren’t even true. In Mind Design™, what we want to do is get your whole mind, your whole brain, your whole being moving in a direction that as you move in that direction you pick up the kind of things you want to be doing.

You pick up the skills you want to have. You practice, you use them, and you find out how they contribute to your being, how you contribute to others, how you move through the world with these win/win outcomes and make your life and the lives of those around you a lot more fun!

During the Mind Design™ program, you are going to learn a way to ask yourself the kind of questions that get you the results you want. To be truly successful, fulfilled and secure, you must make a habit of asking the kinds of questions that give you power, drive and energy.

For now, I want you to commit to making a change for yourself, commit to your goals and commit to asking yourself a new set of questions. By doing this, you will be able to succeed in your goals beyond your wildest expectations.

You are already asking yourself questions every moment of the day. If you say “yes, Rex, That’s true” or “no Rex that is not true”… the only way you could answer that is by having asked yourself a question!

For at least the next 21 days, I want you to ask yourself a different set of questions first thing every morning, before going to bed and any moment you can throughout the day.

You will want to write them down, carry them with you, pin them up where you will see them and be reminded to ask. Remember what you do now determines the quality of your future. The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask.

Some Sample Questions

How come I am so lucky?
Why am I so wonderful?
What new wonderful things will I discover?
How can I become thinner and enjoy the process?
I wonder in how many ways I can become better and better?
I wonder how quickly I can achieve my ideal weight?
Which sensation in my body feels the very best right now?
How quickly will I begin to learn these new skills?
How naturally and easily will I begin to pay attention to pleasant feelings?
How soon will I begin to notice with delight how happy I can become?

Using Questions With Others To Be More Persuasive

In the same way that you ask yourself questions that direct your mind, you can use questions to direct the mind of your customers an clients. The mind is easily programmed and lead to make decisions within the options that are given.

Some Sample Questions

Would you like to order your dessert now or when you have your coffee?
Is this cash or charge?
When customers are asked “would you like a large or small coke?” most take a small. However when asked, “would you like a large one?” most take a large.
Do you realize how excited it is going to be when you take this vacation?
How quickly can we finish our meeting?
In how many different ways are you going to enjoy this house?

Well, there you have it again. Have you discovered yet the power of asking yourself powerful Directed Questions™. Why did I call them Directed Questions™? Because that is what they are! You direct your attention to what you want instead of focusing on what you don’t want. I hope you will enjoy the power of these powerful questions all the time every day!” Rex Sikes

In how many different ways can you delight and amaze yourself today?

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