“A lot of us have friction with family and friends. Many get into unwanted and unnecessary, even terrible, arguments. Would you like to know how to get along better? Nothing will change unless you do something different from what you’re currently doing. Get it?

You may or may not like the answer BUT it works! It actually works great but there is a caveat. It doesn’t work if you don’t implement it. If you want your life to change you must change some of the things you are thinking and doing in your life! You must put this to use!

Getting along begins with you! You must go first. You make the effort. Never expect the other to go first. They follow your lead if they are willing. This way you put an end to your unrealistic expectations and you are in control of yourself.

Respect People’s Feelings It Could Mean Everything To Them

You can only be in charge of you. The mistake people make is thinking they can control others. If they don’t think it, somehow they still attempt it. Let go of control. Let go of manipulation. Be the kind of person people naturally want to get a long with.

Just the other day I was at a gathering. There were a couple of people there who were in support groups. An older gentleman and a younger woman. Both were absolutely delightful. At one point the young woman shared an exciting new group she discovered

She very gladly told this gentleman during the discussion. He immediately dismissed her comment by stating, ‘I don’t like that group. It does nothing for me.’ I remained silent as I was not party to the conversation and merely overheard a portion of it.

Control Your Emotions And Your Mouth And Respect Others

However, I could see the young woman take the ‘hit’ immediately. I felt for her. She is enthused. She is eager to share. She made an exciting new discovery for herself and this gentleman squashed it no sooner than she spoke it. I get that he did not intend to. Still, he did.

He was not aware of what he did nor how it affected her. He was just being himself. My point? Be sensitive. Be aware. You win more bears with honey than with vinegar. He could’ve simply said, ‘marvelous you found a group you enjoy.’ He didn’t have to express his opinion.

But that is what WE do. We express opinions. We even do it when others aren’t interested or when they are looking for some support. There is nothing wrong in having an opinion as long as one realizes, that is all it is. An opinion is not gospel. It is not a fact. It’s opinion!

Listen With Your Heart And Your Ears – Accept And Respect 

People argue opinions as facts on social media all the time. They unfriend people who they get upset and disagree with. That’s their choice. My point? Don’t go there. Stop creating friction. Learn tolerance. Learn patience. Learn how to support others. Be kind.

We cannot change their minds. Hence, the truism, ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make the horse drink’. Yes, you can influence others and they may change their OWN mind, but you can’t change it for them. Instead of attempting control, be nice.

BE caring. Be supportive. Be kind. Be the kind of listener you hope to get at times. Stop inflicting your opinions and you will get further, faster, with some people. An author friend, opened his book with a very powerful statement. I read it in my teens or early twenties.

Speak Only To Bless Heal Prosper Inspire Motivate And Transform

‘You can please 50% of the people 50% of the time. The other 50% you will never please. So, you might as well learn to please yourself.’ I include it to say, know the odds of your influence. The percentages may not be correct, that isn’t the point. Stop trying to control others.

Be the change you want to see in others and the world. Be accepting. No, I am not saying accept hatred and violence. You know better than that. I am saying, in the course of normal conversation with family, friends and even strangers, have integrity and be respectful.

Be thankful and appreciative. Say ‘how wonderful’ and ‘how marvelous’ instead of raining on their parade. Attempt to not correct them but allow others to find their own way. Some people want to be happy sharing good news without being one upped or dissed. Get it? If you are grateful for your family and friends, and the opportunity to share, approach them differently. Be kind and giving. Be receptive. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch