Communicating Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude

How To Get What You Want During Disagreements

“We return to ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ and how to influence others, personally and professionally, positively. How to get more yeses. A favorite person of mine Cheri Tree, speaks the truth. Have ever heard the following statement?

‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get more nos.’ Have you heard that? Get enough nos and you will eventually get a yes. I know I have. For decades I embraced that thought as well. Cheri says bull. ‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get yeses!’ I love it. It is so true.

I have been sharing in these pages exactly how to get more yeses. The principles and practices for enabling you to do exactly that and much more. You want to evolve yourself into the kind of person for whom others can most easily say yes to. That is your personal task!

What Is Most Important To You – Getting Along Or Agreement

Become a person people like and want to do things for. Go the extra mile. Respect others if you want respect back. Right, you are following along on these concepts, correct? If you are then you know you must respect others needs, wants, time, money and energy.

You must respect their boundaries. Don’t cross them. Move no faster than the other person moves is a way to think about it. Follow their lead for awhile. You will get an opportunity to lead too. It is called pacing and leading and you must learn to do both and when.

For now, keep in mind, you want to respect their boundaries and do not violate them. If they don’t want to talk about something then don’t! Get it? You want to make them feel at ease. Put them at ease and let them know they can trust you. Then they absolutely will.

In The Middle Of Difficulty There Is Opportunity – Be Open Find It

On the other hand there are times when you may have to cut your losses. You may have to walk away, politely, with a promise to resume at another time. As long as the ball is in your court you can determine what to do. Just do it in a respectful and friendly way.

If you maintain respect and friendliness you almost never burn bridges. Truth be told, you never want to burn a bridge, so do whatever you can to maintain it. In the meantime, unless one of those rare times surfaces, stay open and stay flexible.

Keep adjusting and continuing to work toward understanding, connection and agreement, even if you agreement is to disagree. Remember, the relationship is important. Keep your purpose in mind. Why are you communicating in the first place?

Are You Strong And Big EnoughTo Overcome Disagreement

What is it you want? What do you want in the big picture? How do you create win/wins so all parties get what each wants? What do you have to do and keep doing in order to maintain rapport, trust and the relationship when you disagree? You must respectfully negotiate.

I’ll continue this discussion on boundaries in next blog. Meanwhile, understand there are times when things don’t go your way. Don’t get flustered, get centered. Stay open and available. Remain calm and collected. Gather your inner and out resources. Remain true.

Remain true to you and to higher principles. Be authentic. In the larger scheme of things how does this all fit in? If you don’t get what you want today what else will you do? How important is it? Ask yourself questions that support you in moving ahead in positively.

It Is Normal To Disagree – Can You Maintain Your Relationship

What do you have in common? What do you like about this person? How can you better understand what is important to them? How can you more effectively listen? How can you create better rapport and understanding? What can you do to enjoy communicating better?

Direct your mind toward positive outcomes by asking questions to guide you. Really ask yourself and listen quietly for the answers. Don’t allow yourself to be rushed. Stop, drop and breath! Drop everything, let go, breath and allow the answers to come to you.

Discover what there is to appreciate about your relationship. Access those feelings of gratitude. Emphasize the positive qualities and diminish differences and disagreement. Accentuate the positive! Feel the gratitude. Feel the blessings! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, nurture yourself and others!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Experts Reveal: Why You Win When You Go The Extra Mile

“Don’t you just love it when someone goes out of their way to help you out or do something nice? I mean sure, sometimes the tendency is to not receive a gift because you don’t want to ‘put someone out’ or you don’t want to feel obligated. Still, it is nice, isn’t it?

Of course, it is. When some one does something for you, you appreciate it. When they do something extra special it is even more important and memorable. It has an impact. Remember, what I said a moment ago about being obligated. It stimulates reciprocity.

You want to return the kindness. If you want more people to say yes and become devoted to you or your business then be willing to provide far more value than you ask for in return. Go the extra mile. Demonstrate your ability to give and you will get far more back.

Go The Extra Mile – Just Like At The Top – It Is Never Crowded

Give first and you will get back! There is a caveat. Give to give not to get back. When you are a genuine giver you will get far more back than you can imagine. Be sincere. Give because you want to provide lot’s of value to those around you. You will get known for it.

Give of your respect. Give your attention. Give you kindness. Give your time. Give your yes. Be generous and provide value first for the other person. When you do people naturally want to, and even feel compelled to, reciprocate. They will return your kindness. Get it?

This is why people bring gifts or food or drink to dinner parties they are invited to. It is why a sales person often bring donuts or coffee to their sales calls. It is why they pick up the tab at a business lunch or meeting. They obligate you. You feel compelled to say yes.

People Of Excellence – Go The Extra Mile – To Do What Is Right

You promise to get the tab next time. Researchers call it The Law Of Reciprocity. When you give first people want to give back. They actually do feel compelled. When someone buys you lunch or a movie ticket, they pay for something, what do you want to do?

Return the favor, right? If someone gives you a ride for free you want to pay for gas. When you give first, they want to return it. If you listen well, if you are focused and attentive, people more readily return the same to you. There is a saying, givers get.

Demonstrate their interests are genuinely in your heart and they will place you in theirs. If you give only to get they will know it. Say yes to them and they will say yes to you! You win more bears with honey. Go the extra mile. Provide fabulous value.

Be The Difference – Don’t Just Be Ordinary – Be Extraordinary

Be the type of person that exemplifies trust, honesty, loyalty, respect, willingness, acceptance and cooperation. You are the message. Who you are and what you do is far more important than what you say. We will discuss more of ‘who you are’ later.

For now, go the extra mile. Will everyone, always, return your kindness? No, but most will. That makes it even more important. You risk not having anyone return anything. This makes you the bigger person. When people know you are sincere it works in your favor.

Don’t try to manipulate. If you are authentic people will respond far better because most will ‘get it’ at a gut level. We are usually far more perceptive than otherwise. Our gut, our first impressions usually are right. Many people listen to theirs. Be a good person.

Stand Out And Taller Among The Crowd By Going The Extra Mile

You win in the long run when you go beyond the call of duty. Understand this. You up your batting average. There is no absolute guarantee but you should offer one whenever you can. Get it? You win by helping others win. Make them a priority. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

“I’ve had hypnosis training, multiple NLP trainings and life coaching. Mind Design is totally different. It’s just Brilliant. Thanks!” Tim Shay, Musician, Philadelpha, PA.

“Mind Design helps me choose amazing thinking instead of habitual thoughts that aren’t useful. I form new habits in thought and feeling that result in actions that get me my goals. The possibilities are endless.” Robert Bogsten, Marketing Copyrighter, Turku, Finland

STOP STRUGGLING! IT’S TIME TO CHANGE THAT AND START CREATING YOUR BEST LIFE!!

Enroll In Mind Design™ Today! Click link for details! Join the many people who are already positively transforming their minds and creating their best lives ever! You can too. Get it?

ACT TODAY! Stop suffering! Transform yourself and start getting the results and the life you deserve! Enroll In Mind Design™ Today Stop struggling! It can be easier. Learn to use your mind to get what you want!

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

How To Get People To Say Yes To You

“Whether you are in show business, sales, the fields of medicine or law, a parent, child, friend or associate, boss or employee getting more yeses is important. To get people to do what you want make certain you are the kind of person they say yes to most often.

Whatever walk of life you are in people tend to say yes to people they like. Science bears this out. Two research conclusions. People like people who are like themselves. This is where ‘birds of a feather flock together’ is truly applicable. People agree with people similar.

The second finding. People tend to say yes to people they like. It is a given. Will they say no to people they like? Of course, but it is much more likely they will say no to people they do not like. The goal: Make sure the people you influence like you. Become likable. Get it?

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You – Think Highly Of Others

You become most likable when you are similar to them. I’ll discuss this in another post. It is important! For now, keep these principles in mind. Walk a mile in their shoes! Understand where they are coming from. Truly appreciate them and let them know it. Be empathetic.

Be compassionate. Be easy to like. Be friendly, nice and smile. Show that you like people. If you don’t like people in general, or the person you must communicate with, they will know it. They will sense it at the nonverbal, non-conscious level. They will feel it in their gut.

We are broadcasting who we are, our likes and dislikes constantly, whether we realize it or not. In order to be liked we must be likable. In order to get more yes answers we must be someone people want to say yes to. We need to be able to put others at ease.

You Get What You Focus On – Think Friendship & Cooperation

Help them to feel comfortable. Be likable. Be willing to be likable. Be generous in your friendliness. Demonstrate attention, respect and loyalty. Rex’s Rule is to always go first. If you want someone to like you, like them first. If you want respect, respect first. Get it?

If you want attention give yours first. It works this way. Remember, we are constantly broadcasting who we are and what we value; like or don’t like. You and I pick things up at the gut-level, so do others. Some people may be far more sensitive than you or I.

We can learn to improve this ability to detect and notice, to interact and influence. We can learn to read people better and more readily understand where they are coming from. This helps! The goal is to build bridges. Invite, be open and available. Be easy to say yes to!

What You Think About You Bring About – Be Positive & Optimistic

Allow people to be themselves. Don’t insist they change for you! Don’t insist anything. Look for commonalty between you. Notice how you are similar. Find the 1% you can agree with 100%. Focus on what you agree on, over and above what you do not agree on.

Build bridges. ‘Make peace not war’ or ‘make love not war’ were famous 1960’s slogans that are useful to adopt. Keep in mind go first. If you want a yes what can you say yes to? If you want someone to give you something what can you give them first?

Nothing is truly free in life. There is always a price in time, energy or money. A simple example: If you want an apple you must pick it or get it somehow. Walk a mile in their shoes. Be empathetic. Be compassionate. Be likable. Be generous. Be willing. Be helpful.

Skill Comes Of Doing – The More We Do The More We Can Do

Demonstrate good communication. Invite don’t insist. Look for the common elements. If you’d walk a mile for a camel (another famous slogan) walk further to get your point across and accepted. Live with gratitude. Freely express appreciation of and with others.

When you are appreciative of everything it is easier for those around you to be appreciative. Delight, have fun and enjoy. Be willing to change yourself and be flexible and adaptable. You don’t change others you change yourself. It is called self improvement!

This is an incredibly important point to understand. Evolve to be the kind of person people most naturally and easily want to say YES to AND you will get more yes replies. Your life will improve as you develop yourself and your abilities. More later, meanwhile celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Guidelines For Getting Along With Others While Talking

“Here are a few tips and principles that will help improve you ability to connect and communicate with another person. Stay open and positive. Don’t label the other person as a poor or bad communicator. Don’t judge them that only makes things worse.

Assume you are missing the point rather than judging them. Take responsibility for listening better. Blaming them won’t help. If you change what you are doing it might. Stay open. Assist them in being clearer. With your help you may create better understanding.

Everything depends on your intent as a communicator. Are you seeking to understand or ridicule. If you make judgements and insist they change to suit you it actually inhibits the process. You shut down and it is more difficult for them. Don’t let emotions get in way.

Not Everyone Thinks The Way You Think Or Knows What You Do

Make it easier for the listener. Help the communicator be clearer if able. Ask simple questions politely to help them clarify their points. Gently and patiently bring it out of them. Elicit it gradually. Take responsibility for making the process go nicely for both of you.

A frame you can adopt to help you is to assume they don’t know any better. They can’t help but do it the way they are doing it. It isn’t their fault and they aren’t bad. It is just the way it is. Imagine helping a small child to do something well. Encourage them along.

The goal in communicating is to build a bridge between parties. It is to learn to speak the other person’s language rather than insisting they speak yours. While it might be nicer if they did it your way be the bigger person and adapt to them. Be flexible. Be a chameleon.

Not Everyone Believes What You Believe Or Acts As You Act …

Change what you are doing so you can get along with more people. If you only have one way of doing something you are limited in the number of people you can influence. If you adapt and help make the process enjoyable you win more friends. Make them feel at ease.

Help them feel comfortable speaking with you and they will want to do it again. Make gentle and direct eye contact. Listen intently and once in a while repeat back to them what they said so they know you are listening. Do the same if you want them to be clearer.

Repeat and ask them what is meant. Always be polite and respectful. Nod and ‘uhhuh’ or say ‘yes’ also once in awhile. Don’t stare. Talk less and listen more but don’t be completely silent looking like you are in trace. Engage, be appealing. Smile, encourage them to talk more.

Remember This And You Will Get Along With A Lot More People

Ask questions but don’t interrogate. Don’t ask so many they feel they are being put to a test. Give them some room to be themselves. Often it is best to sit next to them than opposite them. Or sit t the corner of a table rather than across from each other.

I’ll share more as we continue. For now implement what you learn. Action is the proper fruit of knowledge. Expect to have a nice time. Mentally shower them with love or gratitude or peace. Your outer behavior does reflect your inner behavior, whether it is positive or negative, so keep it positive. Enjoy communicating and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

How To Get People To Do What You Want!

“Are there people in your life getting along with seems impossible? Would you like to help them understand you better? Do you argue more than you want to? Would you like to be more influential? Want to more easily and readily get others to do what you want? Do you?

The goal of communication is understanding. Most of us think it is only to inform. We inform each other of our intentions or what is going on. We think, since we ‘communicated’ or spoke our thought or piece the other should understand and respond appropriately.

Good communication is more than telling the other person what ‘is’. Good communicating involves delivering the message in the manner the intended recipient can understand it. You make certain it is well understood, clarify it as necessary and listen openly all the while.

Communication’s Biggest Problem – The Illusion It’s Taken Place

If it is not understood the sender must adjust the message until the receiver ‘gets it’. This means being flexible and having more than only one way to speak or communicate ideas. This means communicating the way the receiver is used to getting messages.

It doesn’t mean getting angry, raising our voice, yelling at or name calling the listener ‘stupid’ because the person doesn’t understand. It means attempting to help the receiver understand by being respectful and helpful. This is where the Platinum Rule comes in.

The Golden Rule is marvelous! It should always be applied. ‘Do unto others the way you prefer to have things done unto you.’ That is a guideline for not mistreating others. Think about your preferences and don’t do less for other people. It is a wonderful rule to follow.

The Most Important Thing In Is To Hear What The Other Is Saying

Go The Extra Mile is another fantastic principle that states don’t just do the job but go above and beyond what is called for. Deliver more value than any one else. Blow their socks off by doing more than they expect. This is another wonderful rule to practice daily in all.

The Platinum Rule states ‘Do unto others the way they prefer to be done unto’. In other words do it their way. Do it the way they like. Do it the way they are used to. This is important especially when communicating. Help them understand by speaking their language.

If someone speaks another language than you speak, if you really want understanding, then attempt to speak in their language. They don’t understand yours. Don’t make them try. You speak theirs. You are delivering the message help them understand. Get it. Go first!

Good Communication Means Respecting Yourself And Others

It doesn’t help to raise your voice. It doesn’t help to get frustrated or mad or blame them because they don’t understand the language you are speaking. It doesn’t help to ridicule or give up. It helps if you adjust and attempt to phrase it meaningfully for them.

Speak their language! Adjust and continue. Continue to adjust until you get the desired results. Adjust and continue until they understand. Don’t berate them. Be patient. Allow them their misunderstanding. After all they are trying to understand YOU!

In a few series of upcoming posts we will explore how to better and more easily communicate. If you want friends, co-workers, lovers and even strangers to better and more easily understand you, and get along with you, then it is worth learning to communicate better.

Listen More – Speak Less – Seek To Find Out Their Point Of View

The more you are able to express yourself the more you are apt to get agreement. The more agreement you get the easier and the more people you are able to positively influence. The better the understanding the greater the harmony and the relationships.

Enjoy and delight the opportunity we have to share ideas. Be grateful you have a means to do that. Appreciate that you have people in your life willing to listen and even ‘put up’ with you. Recognize how blessed you are to share with others. Learn, laugh, love and live! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude

The Enemy Within: Turning Self-Limiting Beliefs into Powerful Possibilities

Step Into Your Power And Relax: Let Infinite Intelligence Handle The Details

How to Break Habits and Create New Pathways for Success

How Mindset, Vision, and Mission Unlocks Success

Communicating

How To Get What You Want During Disagreements

Like this:

Experts Reveal: Why You Win When You Go The Extra Mile

Like this:

How To Get People To Say Yes To You

Like this:

Guidelines For Getting Along With Others While Talking

Like this:

How To Get People To Do What You Want!

Like this:

Communicating

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: