“This is a general comment not specific to anyone except maybe for me. I think the focus is in the wrong place for many people. Most of us want the other person to change, when the person who really needs to change is us, or me.

Other people may never change. That is not within our control. Change begins at home, in our own hearts and minds. There is the  saying ‘you can’t save a fool from himself.’ It is especially difficult to save the fool if that fool is me. Get it?

It is easy to blame others for not sharing our values. Does that bring about any real transformation? Blaming and accusing, complaining and excusing doesn’t help people want to be better. It doesn’t nurture or encourage them to make positive changes.

What You Focus On Is What You Get

It only tends to drive them further into their own position. People tend to change when they discover what they are doing isn’t working. That can take eons for some. Perhaps, that is why there is the saying, ‘patience is a virtue.’ Be patient with others. Get it?

Fighting only promotes more fighting. You punch me then I want to hit you back harder. What if that dynamic were changed? What if we released the impulse to fight?

What if instead of all the hate for others, and their hate for us, we busied ourselves with changing ourselves, instead of trying to force them to see our point of view?  Maybe, if they see people happy, healthy, loving and peaceful some will decide they want that too.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

Hate promotes hate. The big question is what are you, me or any of us attempting to promote? What are we attempting to accomplish? What might be the best way for us to accomplish that for ourselves individually?

As the saying goes, ‘you can light a million candles off just one candle but your candle must be lit first.’ It would seem reasonable if you want others to be tolerant, loving and peaceful you should go first and be an exemplar!

We ought not to try to make people what we ourselves are not prepared to be. You can’t promote a negative. It is difficult to say do not be racist. Don’t be stupid. Don’t be evil. It is more effective to aim at what you want. Aim at a bullseye.

If You Think You Can Or You Can’t You Are Right

Say, be more tolerant and accepting. Be peaceful or loving. Be more intelligent or have more street smarts. Be good. Follow the light. Lift all people up.

When we try to stop something without a clear idea of where we want to be and what that is like, it’s similar to traveling without a destination in mind. If you wanted to end racism what do you want to replace it with?

Then how can you go about replacing it with those worthy things? What is the plan? How do you behave? What do you do to make your dream or goal a reality? This is what I think may be helpful, but only those ready to see it will agree.

The More You Do The More You Can Do

Those who don’t yet see it, may at sometime, or never, and that is outside of my, or our, control. So what do we replace it with? What need we do to bring it about? I suggest love, respect, integrity, positivity, honesty, acceptance, trust, friendship, caring, compassion, understanding, kindness and other positive attributes, characteristics and values. Let’s raise each other up and stop tearing each other down. What say you? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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