“How you say things to others does matter, right? There are ways you can talk to someone that increases the likelihood you might get your way or what you want from them and then there are ways that decrease that likelihood, wouldn’t you agree? How you speak and how you approach someone matters, don’t you think?
Then why would be any different when we speak to ourselves? There are ways we can speak to insure we get what we want. There also are ways of speaking to ourselves to insure we won’t get what we want. This makes sense, right?
Speak Positively: Say What You Want
The best way to get what you want it to speak in positive terms. Phrase your language positively. Instead of pointing out what you don’t want point out what you do want.
Perhaps, you have heard this example. When you tell a child ‘don’t spill your milk’ what is the internal mental image the child has to make? The child sees herself spilling the milk.
Then what typically happens? What do you follow up with saying to the child? You typically say, ‘I told you not to spill your milk!’ Right? Because shortly after you said ‘don’t spill’ the child did.
If you tell someone, ‘don’t get mad at me’ what do they usually do? When you say ‘you never listen to me’ does it really help much. My guess, is at that point they start talking about how they do listen.
It is the same as with the example, ‘don’t think of an elephant’. Your mind responds to the language but doesn’t process the word don’t. It doesn’t take it as a command to NOT do something, it only understands what to do, ‘think of elephant’; ‘spill milk’; ‘never listen’.
It Matters What We Think And Say
How we say things to others matters! What we say to ourselves matters too! If you say, ‘don’t forget to pick up bread on the way home’ you forget just as easily as your partner does.
One way to combat this is to express both sides. If you catch yourself saying, ‘don’t forget’ then add ‘remember to get it’. ‘Don’t spill! Carry it carefully.’ This way the picture in their mind or yours is what you want it to be. You want them and you to picture what you want to have occur.
Brains work this way. They delete the negative words and take the rest as a command. This is why we need to focus on what we want and to state things in the positive. This is why we want to think positively. So that we get more of what we want to be, do and have!
While it is true that consciously you know what is meant by ‘don’t spill’ and you can successfully over ride the command and the internal image or representation to spill it, you still had to represent it to yourself. Your mind still made the pictures of you spilling it.
Your conscious mind is tiny by comparison to your unconscious, or subconscious, or other than conscious mind. You don’t want to fill your larger powerful subconscious mind with images of what you don’t want to happen for any reason. NO you want to fill this powerful mind with what you do want to happen! Get it?
Fill Your Subconscious With What You Want
You want to fill your subconscious mind with what you want to happen because your subconscious mind is a ‘servant mechanism’ or servo-mechanism. The main task it has IS to carry out and fulfill the commands you give it. What are you giving it most of the time?
Are you giving it what you want so it can bring you more of what you want OR are you mostly focused on what you don’t want; fear, negativity, worry, lack, not having enough to make ends meet etc.
What you give it to work on it will deliver! Whichever dog you feed will live. You either plant food or poison. It is either positive or negative. Which energy ball is larger? Your positive ball of energy or your negative one? (see previous blogs for some of these references).
Phrase your language in the positive. Instead of saying, ‘don’t be late’ say ‘please be on time’. Get it? Instead of saying, ‘I’ll never lose weight’ say ‘I can eat healthy foods and feel proud.’ or ‘The more healthy I eat the more I feel great’. or ‘I can reach my ideal weight through right eating and exercising and feeling good’.
When you speak to yourself and others don’t blame, criticize or whine. Don’t point out what is wrong, what you don’t like or don’t want. Look for what is good and what is right, what you enjoy, what you want more of.
Speak Only To Bless, Heal And Prosper
Point out these things. Always speak only to bless, heal and prosper others and yourself. Keep you talk with others and your self-talk positive.
Tell your brain precisely what you want it to do, to pay attention to and to give you more of. Direct it positively by using positive language. Direct it by telling it what you do want. This is what affirmations are about.
Make the right mental images in your head so your brain knows what you want it to do. DO it over and over again until it becomes an automatic habit, second nature so you don’t have to think about it. Then you will be creating more of what you want more of the time and less of what you don’t want less of the time.
Do you get it? You become what you think about most often! You get what you focus on. What you think about you bring about. The dog you feed is the dog that lives! You reap what you sow. If you plant images in your head of what you don’t want and then you get that you really shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed.
Own Your Mind Own Your Behavior
Take control of your own mind and behavior. Put a guard before your lips and be careful what you think and say to yourself and others. Whatever you are thinking about and talking about you are bringing about. You are always creating!
So if you don’t like what you have, where you are at, your circumstances or results you need to change what you are doing, saying and focused on to get the ones you do want.
Don’t delay Do it today! See how that works? Both sides represented. Always remember to direct your mind toward what you want it to do. Keep it simple.
As you would speak to a child;’walk carefully’. You wouldn’t say ‘navigate well the horrendous pitfalls along the walkway maintaining your balance by placing your center of gravity in such a way…’ you would say, ‘walk carefully’, or ‘walk tall’ or ‘stand up straight’ or ‘smile more’. or ‘think happy thoughts’. Keep it simple.
Be direct! Be positive. Speak in positive terms. Think positive. Fill your mind and hours with positivity and notice how wonderful your life becomes. Pay attention and delight in all the good things you notice. Celebrate and be filled with gratitude and your life will become beyond amazing!” Rex Sikes
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