“Negative thoughts and feelings can be trouble. What to do when you have a negative thought? It can ruin your day. It could interfere with your ability to feel happy and successful, pursue your career and enjoy life overall. Some people try to avoid negative thoughts.
Trying to fight thoughts and feelings usually only exaggerates them and makes them worse. You have probably found that to be true, right? There is a way you can get free from them. Would you like to know how? Keep reading.
Thoughts come and they keep coming. Many are repetitive, habitual, chronic old thoughts that just run on and on. The reason you keep thinking the same thing may be because you never attempted to direct them before.
How To Change The Old Into The New
It is estimated we think over 60,000 thoughts a day. 60 percent or more are the thoughts we routinely think. They are the thoughts from the day before and the day before that. The reason we have these repetitive thoughts is because most people don’t bother to learn HOW TO think better.
We think because we think that is how it has to be. We don’t realize that thinking is a skill and a process as any other. We can be good at it if we want to be or we can accept however we learned to do it. That is a choice each of us can make once we realize we have that choice. It would be nice to be a talented thinker, wouldn’t it?
Just like training a horse it can take some time but you can learn to think in new ways. You can think in new positive ways just as reliably and automatically as the old way. The way you learn to think new thoughts is you choose. You make choices. You decide what to think.
Decide To Become A Talented Thinker
You claim and you regain control. You put yourself in charge and you begin to decide what to think. That is what affirmations, Directed Questions™ and positive self-talk is all about. You choose the thoughts and images you want to fill your mind with. You choose the best thoughts to think about yourself!
If you are up late at night and watching TV or a movie that you don’t like because it produces horrible thoughts or images what do you do to quit being bothered? Some people say turn it off. That doesn’t work because then you think about the last things you saw over and over.
Instead, you change the channel. You watch something else. You tune to something you enjoy. Soon you will forget about the old horrible show and images because you will be caught up in the new more enjoyable ones. You chose to put your attention elsewhere.
You Are In Charge – Change The Channel
You make positive thinking a reality in the same manner. You switch what you are thinking about. You don’t try to stop thinking negatively because what you resist persists. You don’t try to shut the less than glorious off rather you add in more positive, powerful, enjoyable, glorious thoughts.
You make the new thinking a habit by choosing to think and affirm the new thoughts over and over repeatedly. You think them and add positive emotion and enthusiasm while you say or shout them out loud to yourself. Think of the intense emotions used in military training or sports training. Make your feelings intensely joyful!
Over time, the new thoughts take hold. You begin to think them more reliably and you begin to believe them. They become a part of you. They begin to come naturally and habitually. The older thoughts you think less and less. Your new thoughts take hold.
You Form Habits By Correct Practice And Spaced Repetition
Just as when you change residence. At first you may find yourself inadvertently traveling back to your former address. In time that will happen less and less as you continue to return to the new home address. Soon enough the new address takes hold and you always go there. You learn to go where you put your attention. It is reliable!
It works the same way you make a pathway in the forest or pasture. You travel the same route again and again until a path is formed. It works the same way in the brain.
You create new neural pathways to travel by choosing the thoughts you want to think and repeating them again and again. The key is to use strong, intense, positive strong emotions while affirming. The emotions are what wires in the thoughts.
Choose Your Thoughts
Choose to think new thoughts. Become aware when you aren’t. Make a correction by adjusting thoughts that run counter to what you want. Change to a positive channel. You will feel better too.
Apply, correct, apply correct and soon over time you get the knack and develop the new thinking habit. It is not just the words but the feeling you have when saying the words. Once you choose to think better thoughts your feelings improve too! It works both ways.
But What If I Think A Negative Thought?
It is okay. We all do. We are human.
Frequently it means that thought is a signal to get your attention. It is a signal that you need to put your attention on something in order to avoid or resolve a difficulty. The same is the case with less than glorious feeling. It means you are focused in the wrong place.
Perhaps, you are more focused on what you do not want than on what you want. Notice the thought or feeling, acknowledge it and put you attention where you want it to be instead. If the thoughts stop or the feelings change for the better you got the message.
You Have A Guidance System That Provides Feedback
Once you get the message stop focusing on the message. Apply your positive thinking on making the situation better. If it alerts you to something you do not want FANTASTIC!! Now turn your attention to what you do want and concentrate on making this happen.
Switch the channel. Focus on the positive thoughts you want instead. It may be something triggered old associations. That is okay it may happen from time to time.
If it persists it may be you need to listen to your gut. Something requires your attention. Calm down, relax, and accept it. Listen patiently. Learn to pay attention to your inner guidance. Once you get the message you will experience relief or at least the nagging will cease.
The Goal Is To Feel Good Most Of The Time
The goal is to think positive thoughts and feel better MOST of the time. It doesn’t mean we never have other thoughts. So you chose to and do what you need to do to feel good most of the time. If 60, 70, 80 percent of your time is spent feeling fantastic life will be too!
Negative thoughts can be signals. No worries. Utilize them when you become aware of them. Take it as a signal to put your attention on what you want to include rather than what you want to avoid or exclude. Sometimes they are extraneous and nothing to be concerned with.
They serve as a signal message or as feedback so you can better move forward. Isn’t that great? We have an internal guidance system. We have our own inner GPS that can take us to where we want to go. Learn to appreciate it, use it and it will serve you well.
We are fortunate that we have this system of guidance. We are fortunate that we can control and choose what we think when we want to. Do we have to be positive and happy all the time? NO the choice is yours. BUT when one learns the power of choosing how to respond in any situation all of life seems to remarkably improvel
Accepting things as they are is important too. If, for example, one suffers a loss of someone close to them. Grieving is a normal process. Allow it. It is not about trying to avoid or alter it. Let it process. Take your time, be sensitive and when ready move on.
What About Negative Feelings?
To reiterate the same applies to feelings. More often than not it is a signal to get your attention to make a positive change in some way. Again, don’t focus on the negative feeling. Put your focus on what you want.
It may be telling you you are off course or focused on the wrong things. So change what you are paying attention to or what you are focused on. If you then feel better you know you made the right correction.
The bad or less than glorious feeling is feedback. It is a signal you are headed or heading off course and alerting you to get back on track. Celebrate it.
It Is A Signal, Feedback, A Message – Pay Attention
We are so lucky to have this available to us. Learn to use it! AND use it! Pay attention and shift your attention as necessary. Energy flows where you attention goes. What you focus on you get.
Monitoring feelings makes everything easier. You either feel good or great or not so good or bad. The goal is to live life feeling the best you are able most of the time. You want to live with joy and celebrating everything.
When you feel less than glorious you are being notified that something is out of whack and requires your attention. Then move step by step toward feeling the best you can. Do whatever you need to feel better. Choose different thoughts, ask questions, go for a walk, skip, sing, dance. Change the channel! Feel better.
Sometimes feeling a little bit better is enough. It moves you in the right direction. For example, right now you are sitting wherever you are. You want to enjoy yourself in a theme park but right now you don’t feel that wonderful.
Drop By Drop Fills The Tub – Bit By Bit You Will Get There
Take a step toward the theme park you want to be at. You are now one step closer. Step by step you will get closer and closer until finally you are there. As long as you are headed in the correct direction you are making progress.
You may notice the closer you get the more eager anticipation you feel. With each step you can leave the less than glorious feelings behind. You’ll move into better feelings until finally you are there enjoying all there is to enjoy! This is how we nudge ourselves along.
Notice that as the eagerness increases you are thinking different thoughts. You attention is no longer on not having or not being there but on the things that you can’t wait to do while there. You are thinking about the fun so your feelings and thoughts change as a result.
Stop Being Critical – Learn How To Let Go And Accept
Accept wherever you are without being critical of yourself. We think we should be further along and better at it than we are presently. In reality, there is no place to be other than in this moment where you are. You can’t force it. Accept where you are at. Love yourself.
You planted seeds now let them grow without any critical commentary. Have faith, trust the process. Let go and let them grow. They wil blossom soon enough but maybe not in your time frame. Let it go. Relax and allow. Be patient. Everything in its own time.
Don’t add insult to injury by heaping less than glorious commentary on yourself whenever you think, feel or do anything. Learn to let go of that old habit. The ability to let go and accept is part of evolving into a more positive and powerful person.
When you let go and drop negative running commentary you and your mind are free to focus on creating what you wan. You are more able to align your resources to enable you to do that. You aren’t distracted by the comments. You are singularly focused and this is powerful.
You Are In Charge – Exercise Your Ability To Choose The Best
Free yourself up to be who you are. You are a person who has choices and who can decide. Even if you believe you never have you still can learn how to take charge. Bit by bit. In life you make countless decisions on what to wear, eat, where to go, what to do, what to watch.
Chose your thoughts. Chose the best thoughts. Make thinking positively and powerfully a habit. Enjoy the finest feelings you can find. Spend more time enjoying thinking better and feeling better. Soon enough it will be a habit and overall your life will transform.
Find things to appreciate about yourself, others and the world. Find the best in each and every moment and circumstances. Put a smile on your face and believe in yourself. YOU can do this. Start now and everything can change in wonderful ways! You can be delighted and surprised!” Rex Sikes
How will you celebrate this new day?
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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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