Questions Archives - Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude

The Power In Asking This

“Questions can change your life because they can change the direction of your thinking. There is immense power in asking questions. The Socratic Method has been around for a long time. I didn’t invent questions, but I revolutionized their use when I introduced Directed Questions™ to the world in the early 80s. Many have attempted to recreate this process and have greatly missed. Still, there’s great power in asking questions.

One question to ask that’s become popular is the question ‘why.’ It has the power to change your life. It’s a small word, yet it opens the door to deep insights, personal transformation, and success. However, early in the NLP days we attempted to ask other questions to provide far more flexibility and direction. Historically, therapists asked ‘why’ almost exclusively. The goal in NLP was to provide more flexibility and direction than they had.

‘Why’ is great and I encourage you to ask it but it’s not the only question to ask. When you learn Directed Questions™ a whole new world opens for you. But, for not, let’s explore ‘why.’ When you ask yourself ‘why’ about your goals, desires, and actions, you unlock the reasons behind what drives you. Understanding this can shape your path forward with more clarity, purpose, and motivation.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Knowing what’s important and why it’s important can turn vague ambitions into specific, actionable steps, guiding you to what you truly value. Asking ‘why’ is powerful and can change the way you approach your goals and life. Consider; Why do you want to achieve a certain goal? It may seem like a simple question, but the answer reveals a lot. Remember, questions direct your thinking. They direct what you find, discover and can then utilize.

When you ask yourself why you want something, whether it’s career success, financial freedom, or personal happiness, you start to uncover the motivations and emotions driving you. If you ask yourself, ‘Why do I want financial independence?’ You might answer, “Because I want freedom.” Dig deeper: ‘Why do I want freedom?’ Your answer might be, ‘So I can spend more time with my family, pursue my passions, and live stress free.’

You’ve uncovered the deeper meaning behind your desire for wealth AND it’s not just money. It’s about a lifestyle filled with purpose and connection. Your family relationship, your passions and how you feel is more important than just making more money. This clarity helps you focus your energy on what matters most and not just on superficial desires. It’s not about the money or the status; it’s about the life you want to create with it!

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Asking ‘why’ helps you tap into your inner drive. It clarifies the emotional reasons behind your goals, providing you with the fuel you need to stay motivated. Once you understand your true motives, you gain a powerful source of energy that will keep you moving forward, even when challenges arise. When you understand your ‘why,’ you unlock a reservoir of strength that can help you persevere when the going gets tough. Get this. It adds to you!

Asking ‘why’ helps you see the bigger picture and how everything is connected. You begin to understand the cause-and-effect relationship between your actions and their outcomes. When you know the reasons behind your desires, you can create a roadmap to achieving them. You can ask, ‘why is this important to me’ and discover deeper answers. If your goal is to be in better health, ask yourself why that matters to you.

Is it to feel more energetic, live longer for your family, or achieve personal mastery? When you understand the real reason behind your desire for health, it becomes easier to stay committed to exercising, eating right, and avoiding unhealthy habits. Asking ‘why’ helps you see beyond the immediate gratification of achieving a goal. You begin to grasp how this goal fits into the larger picture of your life, relationships, and long-term happiness.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

One of the most important aspects of asking ‘why’ is to get into the present moment. Many people think of their ‘whys’ as future goals. Goals somewhere off in the distance. They might say, ‘I want to be successful so that one day I can be happy.’ But this keeps your happiness and success perpetually out of your reach. Instead, ask yourself, ‘Why can I be happy now? Why can I be successful today?’ Focus on your present. Get to here and now.

By focusing on now, you realize the conditions for your desires can be found in your current situation. You just didn’t notice them because you thought they might be available at another time, so you missed out. Now, right this moment there are infinite possibilities, opportunities and resources available to you but you miss them because of your current mindset. That’s why, WHY and asking Directed Questions™ makes such a difference.

For example, if you want more confidence, instead of waiting until you achieve something big, ask yourself why you can be confident now. You might find that you already possess skills, experiences, or traits that make you capable and deserving of confidence today. This shift in mindset helps you to start living the life you want now, rather than constantly chasing a distant future. In fact, most of what you want is always available right now.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Some notable people have used the power of ‘why’ to shape their success: Simon Sinek’s famous TED Talk, “Start With Why,” emphasizes the importance of understanding your deeper purpose. He argues that great leaders and successful organizations are driven by a strong sense of ‘why’ – a clear understanding of their purpose or cause. Companies like Apple don’t just sell products; they’re driven by the desire to inspire innovation.

Steve Jobs didn’t just want to make money or build a company. He wanted to revolutionize the way people interacted with technology, to change the world by creating beautiful, intuitive products. That ‘why’ drove him to build Apple, through countless failures and setbacks. His motivation was not just profit, it was about impact and innovation, and that’s what kept him pushing the boundaries. Notice profit came from wanting to help others.

Malala Yousafzai is the youngest Nobel Prize laureate. She knew exactly why she fought for girls’ education. Her ‘why’ was simple but powerful. She believed every girl should have the right to education, and her personal experiences drove her mission. Her understanding of ‘why gave her the strength to stand up to the Taliban, even after being targeted and attacked, because she knew her cause was bigger than herself.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

I sure wish more people fought for the rights of girls, boys and people all over the world. Don’t you? I’ve proved a few examples of people who used their ‘why’ to change their lives and the lives of others. Now it’s your turn. What do you want? More importantly, why do you want it? Take time today to ask yourself these questions. Write down your answers and keep digging deeper until you uncover the true motivation behind your goals.

Don’t stop at the first answer. Each answer is a steppingstone to that most important value, the big why, your deepest motivation. Remember, when you ask yourself ‘why,’ you gain clarity, motivation, and focus. You connect with the bigger picture and align yourself with your true desires. Most importantly, you begin to see opportunities in the present moment, rather than placing your happiness off in the distant future. Also understand this.

Why is a powerful question. It also has its limitations. As I mentioned, early therapists were limited by only having one predominant question to ask. Flexibility is key. More than that, it’s important not to ask questions by rote. I refused to put out a list of questions for people to ask because it is about asking YOU OWN questions and discovering how to craft them. Directed Questions™ is powerful because it’s not a list but a powerful process.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

You have the power to create the life you want. Start today by asking yourself ‘why.’ Then start acting on those answers. That’s where transformation begins. It begins there but doesn’t end there. Use this question today to begin making changes and know there is so much more than this first step. It can open the door, but you want to and must step through it to get through it. Questions direct your mind.

You can discover so much that is positive and wonderful when you understand this. Ask. Another important, very important point is the answer is not the only thing that is important. Learning the process is superior to the answer. The answer frequently is a stopping point. What’s the capital of your state? When you have the answer, you are done. That is ask and answer. Not a big deal. The inquiry is what is important, so you want to learn how to ask to most directly, efficiently and powerfully direct your mind. That’s why I developed Directed Questions™. Celebrate everything!!” Rex Sikes

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Think On These And Answer Honestly

“These questions should be easy to answer. However, for some these are difficult questions. Use this process for self-examination. These questions will help clarify what your purpose and passion is. The questions will cause you to think, so think deeply and purposely. Also jot down any fleeting thoughts or images that come to mind. Entertain the answers. Then ask again. Ask questions of your answers.

The answers you give are important and determine how far you get and how easy or difficult that journey will be. OK: Who are you? What are your best qualities? What are your strengths and talents? What do you want more than anything else in the world? What price would you pay to have what you want? What do you absolutely love to do? How much time do you spend doing what you love?

The clearer you are and the better you answer each, the more easily you can make your goals and dreams come true. Do you think of yourself as a person who can accomplish anything you want? Certainly, you ought to. Look to your inner resources and recognize yourself as one who has the power to make your dream come true. Decide you can work by yourself and cooperatively with others to make it happen. What resources within you and from around you can you use to get what you want?

Create The Life You Want

Every resource in the world is present somewhere and with someone. How can you attract and connect with the resources and people to mutually benefit each other? Who do you know who can help you and who you can help? Is your major purpose or goal achievable by any person? Is it achievable by you? Can you, do it? Will you, do it? What steps can you take right now to start getting what you want?

If you don’t know how or feel yourself resourceful enough at this moment, you can learn to. You are capable, positive and powerful. You can learn to make any change you want so take the opportunity. Make it a priority. Since we become what we think about all day long, make certain that what you think about is worthwhile and positive. Don’t waste time occupied with unimportant tasks or behaviors.

Get clear on your purpose and your desires. Get clear that you are capable and competent. Wherever you discover an area you might be weak in, look for ways to learn how to improve it and connect with others who have the experience you don’t yet have. Of course, all this assumes you behave with integrity, honesty and legally. The more value you can offer value the more likely they are to assist you in return. Get clear and then move forward. Just start from where you are. Passion will drive if you are dedicated to your purpose. Don’t let thoughts defeat or stop you. Get it? More in my next blog. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Article: Positive Questions for Powerful Change

Here is the article that I discovered that made me aware my work was showing up in other’s work. Today there are even more versions available in other popular books. A while back someone phoned men to tell me ‘hey there’s a whole chapter in the book by ________ on your questions work but without crediting you. Eventually, I got around to reading that chapter and YEP. I remember when his people came into my workshops.

Some have listened to my programs and just lifted the material and named it something else. A couple even used my examples and analogies without bothering to disguise them much. Once in a while I found them using them in the exact sequence I originally presented the work. Since then, they either gotten more covert or added some examples from their work with this. While it’s not cool, it is cool. Here’s what IS cool!

My work has gone around the world in various forms under different names reaching people and transforming lives I may not have ever reached. A few of the people reworking my work have made millions from it. That told me it worked and is powerful. Again, it is all good. People benefit. Sadly, while they reproduced my work they missed the very heart of it. Much of what is present here is my work as explained by the others.

A recent version in the last year or two still has not discovered what makes it most valuable and powerful. I was surprised to discover this article. Enjoy a bit of lineage. There is a principle that makes it most effective. That said, just asking questions IS beneficial. Obviously, I had nothing to do with the original notion of asking questions. That’s been around and worked on for eons. Enjoy a little history and info.

“In 2015 I stumbled across this article on the web. Sometime, in the past years the site went away, including the article. I located it the other day doing a ‘wayback’ search. I include it here, because it was about my work from the 80’s and how to direct your mind.

Here it is the entire article: Positive Questions for Powerful Change Posted on January 6, 2012 by Susan K. Minarik

What if you could trick your brain into making all the right choices for you? What if you sneakily set it up to choose the apple over the chocolate cake, of to stick out its tongue at your impulse to put that tempting trinket on your credit card?

Way back in 1980, Master NLP trainer Rex Steven Sikes, discovered a simple way that anyone can use to direct their thinking toward finding the solutions they were after. He called it Directed Questions™. Unfortunately, the method never got the attention it deserved.

Then, in 2008, Noah St. John stumbled on the method one morning in his shower when he was mulling over the lack of result he was getting using affirmations to create new behaviors. He called it Afformations™ and has been making a great living telling people about it ever since.

In that same year, motivational trainer Kevin Hogan picked up the idea and gave it the descriptive—and non-trademarked—name “positive affirmative questions.”

That’s what I call it, too; I abbreviate it as PAQ . And because it’s one of the easiest and most powerful tools you can add to your personal growth toolkit, I want to share it with you today.

So, What’s a Positive Affirmative Question?

Simply put, a PAQ is a question you ask yourself in order to focus your brain on a positive behavior or attitude that you want to create or expand.

Their power comes from your mind’s need to search for answers to questions that you pose to it, and from the fact that, unlike affirmations, PAQs don’t give your brain something to argue with.

Let me give you an example. Suppose you want to lose weight. You could bombard your brain with an affirmative statement like “I enjoy eating healthy foods and exercising every day.” That might help. But if it were true, you would be eating healthily and exercising already. So some part of your brain considers it a lie—or, at best, a wish—and refuses to see it as a reality.

But suppose, instead, you asked yourself, “How many ways can I find to eat healthier foods?” and “How can I add more activity to my day?” how do you think your brain would react?

Here are a few more examples of positive affirmative questions:
(Note: when you say “I wonder…” you’re really asking a question.)

Why do I feel so good about myself now?
What’s good about this situation?
How quickly can I finish this project and do a fantastic job?
I wonder how soon I can reach my ideal weight?
How many ways can I find to stay within my budget?
What are some fun ways that I can learn this faster?
Why am I seeing so many great traits in my partner now?
Why am I feeling so much more confident now?
What’s good about this situation?

Why Positive Affirmative Questions Work

Rex Sikes, the fellow who calls these Directed Questions™, explains that questions direct the mind. They send it inexorably on a search for answers. They focus you on what you want and help you discover avenues for getting it. And what we focus on becomes dominant in our lives.

Sikes claims they have 300-400 times more power than affirmations do.

Because PAQs are rooted in positive assumptions about your life rather than negative ones, they’re empowering. They utilize your imagination and creativity and put your focus on you want instead of what you lack. “Why am I so fortunate now?” “How can I slim down and enjoy the process?”

A third reason for their power is that the answers come from within you. They’re from the expert who knows you best, not some outside authority or guru. So they feel more authentic, making it natural for you to accept the answers they generate for you.

When PAQs Backfire

Unlike affirmations, PAQs have a very low backfire potential. When you use affirmations your mind has that tendency to argue with you. If you say “I easily and confidently close sales,” your brain is likely to scoff, “You do not, you big coward. You fumble and bumble and blow it every time.”

Well, on rare occasions—and I do mean rare– some PAQs can backfire, too. It’s happened to me. “Why am I so happy now?” was a signature question for me a couple years ago. It’s what motivated me to start my blog, High on Happiness and I use it to this day.

Sometimes, in the beginning, when I was in a particular funk and I asked it, a grumpy inner voice would growl at me, “I’m not happy. I’m a miserable wretch.” And you know what I did? I refused to accept that as an answer and growled right back, “I know you’re not happy. But why am I so happy now?” And my brain would, Oh!” as if it understood now, and go in search of things that were delightful, or comforting, or satisfying in my world.

Of course I was a newbie with PAQs at the time. If I had understood them as well then as I do now, I would have known to rephrase the question: “What are some ways I can begin to feel happier now?” or “I wonder how many things I can find to feel happier about?”

I could even have used a PAQ to find a better question. “What are some questions I could ask to help myself feel happier now?”

How to Put Positive Affirmative Questions To Work for You

By now, you probably see how easy it is to create PAQs. First, you decide what you want—a change in attitude, a new approach to something, a behavior change, even a tangible acquisition.

Next, you form a question based around it, using words like “why,” “what,” “how,” “how many,” “how quickly” and “I wonder.”

Finally, you take action on the answers—not only because the answers will lead to success, but to reinforce the whole process and prove its worth to you.

Sikes recommends that you think up questions for yourself every morning and every night, and that you practice with the method for 21 days in a row. If you decide to adopt this as your positivity practice for the month, I guarantee that one month from now, you’ll see concrete evidence of this little tool’s mighty power.

You can start right now. Ask yourself, “How many ways can I show Susan how much I liked this article?” [end of article]

Well, there you have it. I must point out that this is an article about my work. There is much that is missed. Still, asking any positively phrased questions is useful. That is why I post this article. Others have come along since I shared my work, and since this article.

The others mentioned in the article too, missed important nuances about the work. They missed the heart of how to use questions to direct the mind, but they got that asking questions is important.

I released much of my work and information on the Inet in articles, in my live workshops and many of my audio programs. The ‘Ultimate NLP Home Study Program™’ which is Mind Design™ based, is still available and will be offered on my new platform. Get it.

It is useful! Directed Questions™ works powerfully because it is how the mind works. It is built from how the brain most naturally operates. Directed Questions™ are a part of my Mind Design™ process. I can’t emphasize enough how incredibly powerful Directed Questions™ are. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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“‘Directed Questions’ created by Rex Sikes and the Mind Design course I am doing is very helpful. I change not only my focus but mindset, attitude and results. Helps me turn challenging situations into playful voyages of discovery and delight. Thanks to the Mind Design process, I have discovered that I have more indomitable strength and courage than I gave myself credit for!” Kathy Strong, NLP Trainer and Coach, Bleadon, England

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

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“Rex, I love your book! I just want to say thank you for who you are and how you are showing up and particularly for ‘Life On Your Terms.’ It is a powerful book that impacted me and people I have shared it with. They call me and say, ‘thank you!’ And I say, ‘thank Rex because he is a bad dude up in here, up in here.” Les Brown – Speaker

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This Comes After The Thought That You’d Like To Change

“You must make a decision to change. This comes after the thought that you’d like to change. It’s the next step. A decision is powerful because it can radically improve your ability to handle difficult situations. If you don’t decide to move forward you won’t.

You make the decision to think and feel positively. Then you are better able to feel the way you want to feel, to do the things you want and need to do to get the results you want from your efforts. You begin to create the life you want and the world around you.

It is NOT by magic but as a result of feeling better, thinking better, thinking clearer and working smarter and wiser. You decide. You make a choice to think positive and let go of the negative. You think ‘can do’ and not ‘can’t do.’ You focus on good and shift from the bad.

Learn To Change Your Thoughts And You Transform Your Life

It is a choice. You affirm and declare positively with enthusiasm as previously mentioned. The second powerful practice is to ask questions that lead your mind to go in the direction you want to go. You ask to engage a positive search.

You can ask yourself questions similar to these. ‘Are you happy with life and where you are? Would you like to feel better? Could life be better? Could you enjoy things more?’ If you answer yes to any of these then you might want to ask followup questions.

Such as, ‘How do I want my life to be? How would I like to feel more often? What do I really want? If I could create my own future what would I be like? What would I be doing, enjoying and having? What can I begin doing right now to start to feel and think better?’

Learn To Change Your Thoughts And You Transform Your Life

You can find all manner of positive questions. You ask good questions in order to steer your mind toward the type of answers and solutions you want. Brains work this way. Ask questions to think and feel better. It is good to be wise about the questions you ask.

‘If you ask. ‘How come nothing ever goes right? or How can I be so stupid?’ you are not using very good taste or judgement. Your brain will find those answers. Ask good questions that lead you to where you want to go. Think and feel positive. Take charge. Get this?

If you ask ‘How come everything works out the best for me?’ You might find yourself resisting it a little at first or it’s more difficult to ask because you probably don’t ask this one as much as why things don’t work out. Whatever you do the most is the easiest.

Learn To Change Your Thoughts And You Transform Your Life

That’s why you repeat it frequently. So that the better questions become predominant. Stop asking ones that bring you down and start asking ones that bring you up, repeatedly and consistently. You’ll find in a short while this works amazingly well and provides you with all manner of good things. Thoughts, feelings, insights, answers and actions you can use to transform yourself and your life. IF YOU DO NOTHING YOU GET NOTHING so act today. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

PS I have written numerous blogs about questions and affirmations you can search for here, study and apply. My book also helps as does the Attitude Activator™. If you seriously want to change look into theses resources I provide.

Freedom can be yours BUT if you do nothing, nothing changes!

“This is by far the most comprehensive self help book on the market! And I’ve written 20 self help books all here on Amazon. Rex Steven Sikes is a genius for writing it and you would do well to get a copy if you truly want to change your life!” Dr LaVerne Adams, Author

“This book ‘Life On Your Terms’ is loaded with powerful insights and ideas that motivate and inspire you to accomplish great things. Get ready to change your life in a wonderful way.” Brian Tracy, Author

“Life On Your Terms’ is a hall of fame level book written by Rex Steven Sikes. I am such a fan of this book. I truly think this is one of the greatest personal development books written of all time.” Moe Rock, Owner & Publisher The Los Angeles Tribune

Click Here To Get Life On Your Terms Today! amzn.to/3gD7rLG

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Questions

The Power In Asking This

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Think On These And Answer Honestly

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Article: Positive Questions for Powerful Change

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This Comes After The Thought That You’d Like To Change

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Questions

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