Following up on recent blog on Directed Questions™ here is an article published on my company website in 1999. I include it here as follow up on how to direct one’s mind through positive questions.

Why Affirmations Don’t Work And How You Can Replace Them With Directed Questions™

You may see references to similar questions in other people’s literature. The following is one of my original works on which others are based.

The way you feel and what you experience comes from where you focus your attention and determines how you are going to behave. Successful people know that you must control not only what you focus on but how you focus .

They have learned to take control of their emotions and run their own brain — that means taking control of what you are picturing in your mind and how you are picturing it, what you are saying to your self and how you are saying it. When you get control over these things, this will allow you to determine how you feel.

When you focus, you limit your attention. If you are not focused on success you will miss all the opportunities success brings. In life, we get what we focus on.

Remember this: What you focus on, you get.

People who do affirmations are wasting their time because they are actually setting up internal conflicts that cause them to activate the opposite of what they want! When people look into the mirror and say, “In every day and in every way, I am getting better and better,” a part of their mind comes back and says, “bull!” Doesn’t it?

It is just like if I told you that you have a blue shirt on when you actually have a red one on! I say, “nice blue shirt” and you say, “it’s not blue, it’s red.” Then I say, “it’s blue”, and you say “no, it’s red” … we could go on like this forever… which is exactly what happens for most people when they do affirmations.

Instead of engaging yourself in this confrontive struggle with yourself, you could begin to ask yourself questions instead. Questions will always get you an answer. Questions change what you focus on.

They get you to focus on either what is good about you, your environment, or your behavior, or what is bad about you, your environment, or your behavior. An affirmation in the form of a question is 300 or 400 times more effective and will literally train your brain to translate the daily affirmations into your behavior.

Why Questions are More Powerful than Affirmations

Brains learn quickly to move in directions. Questions direct the mind. They divide experience and lead our attention. Questions demand an answer. And since it is a question which our brain may not know the answer to yet, it will search to give us an answer.

If, when we ask the question, we include more of what we want in our life, our brain will search to provide us with those things which we included in our question and the answer.

Asking yourself questions is one of the greatest things you can learn for yourself. Questions set your reality. Think about it. If I say, “what did you do on Friday?” Where does your mind go? It goes to look for an answer. If I say “how old are you?” You know the answer. If I say, “what did you do last summer?”, “What is your occupation?”, “Who was your best friend when you were a child?” You are causing your mind to come up with an answer.

Sometimes you won’t have the answer right away. Sometimes you may have to ask another question like, “gee, who was it?” You are sending your mind in a direction.

According to anthropologists, people are “meaning makers.” In other words, people will ask themselves “what does this mean to me?”, “what is in it for me?”, or “what should I do?” It is the questions we ask ourselves that create meaning for ourselves.

And you have a choice as to what exactly those questions are going to be. Are you going to ask yourself questions that get you bad results, like “how come I’m so stupid?” or are you going to ask yourself questions that get you good results like “how soon will I begin to realize how wonderful I am?”

The kinds of things you ask yourself are critical. If you say “gee, how come I am so stupid?”, your brain goes “because when you were a child you didn’t eat Wheaties, you didn’t have corn flakes, you didn’t grow up right and it was your parents fault.”

Or because “you are a slow learner” — because someone told you that when you were a child. Or because “you aren’t disciplined enough”, or “you have great potential but you’ll never really amount to anything”…

Whatever it might be, when you say “how come I’m like this?”, your brain will answer and it will come up with a reason no matter how logical or illogical it is. The number one thing in our culture, bar none is that when someone in our culture says “why” someone says “because”.

When you say to yourself, “I don’t understand this” or “I don’t get it” you are reinforcing anything that you do not understand yet. You are making it much tougher on yourself . You are impeding your learning.

On the other hand, if you say, “I wonder how soon before this begins to make sense? I wonder how quickly before I am going to be delighted in discovering what is new about this? I wonder how soon before I delight and amaze myself?” you begin to send your brain in the direction that is useful for you.

As you ask yourself those questions, your brain may not come up with the quick “because” answer because you are posing a question to yourself that you don’t yet know the answer to.

Wouldn’t it be a lot more fun finding out? Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting to think “gee, I wonder how exquisitely talented I can become? I wonder how I can use language to do things that I never yet before considered possible? I wonder who I am going to find that presents a challenge and I wonder how I am going to delight and amaze myself in overcoming that challenge and doing that in ways that I never before thought possible?”

Does that sound like a more useful way to begin looking at the world? … a more useful way, a way that brings you more delight, more pleasure and speeds up the amount of time in which you learn anything?

We have told ourselves a lot of things in our lives. A lot of them aren’t even true. In Mind Design™, what we want to do is get your whole mind, your whole brain, your whole being moving in a direction that as you move in that direction you pick up the kind of things you want to be doing.

You pick up the skills you want to have. You practice, you use them, and you find out how they contribute to your being, how you contribute to others, how you move through the world with these win/win outcomes and make your life and the lives of those around you a lot more fun!

During the Mind Design™ program, you are going to learn a way to ask yourself the kind of questions that get you the results you want. To be truly successful, fulfilled and secure, you must make a habit of asking the kinds of questions that give you power, drive and energy.

For now, I want you to commit to making a change for yourself, commit to your goals and commit to asking yourself a new set of questions. By doing this, you will be able to succeed in your goals beyond your wildest expectations.

You are already asking yourself questions every moment of the day. If you say “yes, Rex, That’s true” or “no Rex that is not true”… the only way you could answer that is by having asked yourself a question! For at least the next 21 days, I want you to ask yourself a different set of questions first thing every morning, before going to bed and any moment you can throughout the day.

You will want to write them down, carry them with you, pin them up where you will see them and be reminded to ask. Remember what you do now determines the quality of your future. The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask.

Some Sample Questions

How come I am so lucky?
Why am I so wonderful?
What new wonderful things will I discover?
How can I become thinner and enjoy the process?
I wonder in how many ways I can become better and better?
I wonder how quickly I can achieve my ideal weight?
Which sensation in my body feels the very best right now?
How quickly will I begin to learn these new skills?
How naturally and easily will I begin to pay attention to pleasant feelings?
How soon will I begin to notice with delight how happy I can become?

Using Questions With Others To Be More Persuasive

In the same way that you ask yourself questions that direct your mind, you can use questions to direct the mind of your customers an clients. The mind is easily programmed and lead to make decisions within the options that are given.

Would you like to order your dessert now or when you have your coffee?
Is this cash or charge?
When customers are asked “would you like a large or small coke?” most take a small. However when asked, “would you like a large one?” most take a large.
Do you realize how excited it is going to be when you take this vacation?
How quickly can we finish our meeting?
In how many different ways are you going to enjoy this house? [end article]

Well, there you have one of my original articles on Directed Questions™. There is no substitute for learning how to direct your mind powerfully and positively. I hope you will being the exploration and discover the positive results and benefits. If you want to take powerful steps in that direction join me in Mind Design™. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

CLICK HERE To Read Another Life Changing Article

Develop your inner power! Learn to manifest your desires! Enjoy abundance! Enroll in Mind Design™. Join me and my students. Together, we can help you create your best life ever. Learn how to really live. Become fully alive. Live your best dreams!

“‘Directed Questions’ created by Rex Sikes and the Mind Design course I am doing is very helpful. I change not only my focus but mindset, attitude and results. Helps me turn challenging situations into playful voyages of discovery and delight. Thanks to the Mind Design process, I have discovered that I have more indomitable strength and courage than I gave myself credit for!” Kathy Strong, NLP Trainer and Coach, Bleadon, England

“Mind Design helps me choose amazing thinking instead of habitual thoughts that aren’t useful. I form new habits in thought and feeling that result in actions that get me my goals. The possibilities are endless.” Robert Bogsten, Marketing Copyrighter, Turku, Finland

“I’ve spent over 30 years seeking out the top experts in human performance. There is nothing I’ve found that comes close to Mind Design. It is the ultimate life enhancement experience! Michael Halbfish, Lawyer, Bethlehem PA

STOP STRUGGLING! START CREATING YOUR BEST LIFE.  It’s Easy, Fun and Powerful! It’s incredible!

Join my Mind Design™ Online Program. Revolutionize Your Life

Enroll In Mind Design™ Click link for details! Join the many people who are positively transforming their minds and creating their best lives ever! You can too! Get it? Ask for information today!

Life is easier and more enjoyable than you ever realized. Learn to use your mind to get what you want!

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

If you’d like some valuable help to live Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want get your copy today!  It is a life changer!

“Rex, I love your book! I just want to say thank you for who you are and how you are showing up and particularly for ‘Life On Your Terms.’ It is a powerful book that impacted me and people I have shared it with. They call me and say, ‘thank you!’ And I say, ‘thank Rex because he is a bad dude up in here, up in here.” Les Brown – Speaker

“Rex is absolutely brilliant and transparent. My go-to book for those I mentor who want to be happy and successful with their lives as they choose.” – Fred Van Lieu ‘The Water Doctor,’ Author

“One of the most transformative books I’ve ever read. This book is amazing! Rex provides a blueprint of simple tools that anyone can use to achieve what you desire. There are so many books out that claim to show you how to create the life you desire but end up being disappointing. This book actually does what it says. No frills. No New Age jargon. Just down-to-earth methods that work when you work them. It really is a breath of fresh air!” Ron Matthews

Get the book. Change your life using the principles and practices. Check it out now. Read it, enjoy it, and transform. Transform yourself and how you think, feel and behave to get Celebrate!

“A real life changer for me. Life on Your Terms is a must read! Rex has a way of writing his story so you feel you’re actually right there with him! I love his comeback story! I am changing my thinking and putting into practice what I’ve read. I see amazing and miraculous things already happening in my life as I follow his instructions! I bought this book first for my Kindle because I can read it anywhere but quickly realized I needed a hard copy to put in my Library! Thanks, Rex, for helping me change my life!” Katherine Young

“‘Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want’ provides practical advice that you can use today to transform your life with increasing success and abundance.” John Gray – Author

“A must read if you want to improve your life. This book will teach you how to control and direct your thoughts to live the life you’ve been dreaming of.”  Chris Guajardo

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©2020 Book Cover Rex Steven Sikes & Rex Sikes Entertainment, LLC

©2020 Infographic Rex Steven Sikes & Rex Sikes Entertainment, LLC

In 2015 I stumbled across this article on the web. Sometime, in the past years the site went away, including the article. I located it the other day doing a ‘wayback’ search. I include it here, because it was about my work from the 80’s and how to direct your mind.

Here it is the entire article: Positive Questions for Powerful Change Posted on January 6, 2012 by Susan K. Minarik

What if you could trick your brain into making all the right choices for you?   What if you sneakily set it up to choose the apple over the chocolate cake, of to stick out its tongue at your impulse to put that tempting trinket on your credit card?

Way back in 1980, Master NLP trainer Rex Steven Sikes, discovered a simple way that anyone can use to direct their thinking toward finding the solutions they were after.  He called it Directed Questions™.   Unfortunately, the method never got the attention it deserved.

Then, in 2008, Noah St. John stumbled on the method one morning in his shower when he was mulling over the lack of result he was getting using affirmations to create new behaviors.  He called it Afformations™ and has been making a great living telling people about it ever since.

In that same year, motivational trainer Kevin Hogan  picked up the idea and gave it the descriptive—and non-trademarked—name “positive affirmative questions.”

That’s what I call it, too; I abbreviate it as PAQ .    And because it’s one of the easiest and most powerful tools you can add to your personal growth toolkit, I want to share it with you today.

So, What’s a Positive Affirmative Question?

Simply put, a PAQ is a question you ask yourself in order to focus your brain on a positive behavior or attitude that you want to create or expand.

Their power comes from your mind’s need to search for answers to questions that you pose to it, and from the fact that, unlike affirmations, PAQs don’t give your brain something to argue with.

Let me give you an example.  Suppose you want to lose weight.  You could bombard your brain with an affirmative statement like “I enjoy eating healthy foods and exercising every day.”   That might help.  But if it were true, you would be eating healthily and exercising already.   So some part of your brain considers it a lie—or, at best, a wish—and refuses to see it as a reality.

But suppose, instead, you asked yourself, “How many ways can I find to eat healthier foods?”  and “How can I add more activity to my day?”  how do you think your brain would react?

Here are a few more examples of positive affirmative questions:
(Note: when you say “I wonder…” you’re really asking a question.)

• Why do I feel so good about myself now?
• What’s good about this situation?
• How quickly can I finish this project and do a fantastic job?
• I wonder how soon I can reach my ideal weight?
• How many ways can I find to stay within my budget?
• What are some fun ways that I can learn this faster?
• Why am I seeing so many great traits in my partner now?
• Why am I feeling so much more confident now?
• What’s good about this situation?

Why Positive Affirmative Questions Work

Rex Sikes, the fellow who calls these Directed Questions™, explains that questions direct the mind.  They send it inexorably on a search for answers.  They focus you on what you want and help you discover avenues for getting it.  And what we focus on becomes dominant in our lives.

Sikes claims they have 300-400 times more power than affirmations do.

Because PAQs are rooted in positive assumptions about your life rather than negative ones, they’re empowering.   They utilize your imagination and creativity and put your focus on you want instead of what you lack.  “Why am I so fortunate now?”  “How can I slim down and enjoy the process?”

A third reason for their power is that the answers come from within you.  They’re from the expert who knows you best, not some outside authority or guru.  So they feel more authentic, making it natural for you to accept the answers they generate for you.

When PAQs Backfire

Unlike affirmations, PAQs have a very low backfire potential.   When you use affirmations your mind has that tendency to argue with you.  If you say “I easily and confidently close sales,” your brain is likely to scoff, “You do not, you big coward.  You fumble and bumble and blow it every time.”

Well, on rare occasions—and I do mean rare– some PAQs can backfire, too.  It’s happened to me.  “Why am I so happy now?” was a signature question for me a couple years ago.  It’s what motivated me to start my blog, High on Happiness and I use it to this day.

Sometimes, in the beginning, when I was in a particular funk and I asked it, a grumpy inner voice would growl at me, “I’m not happy.  I’m a miserable wretch.”   And you know what I did?  I refused to accept that as an answer and growled right back, “I know you’re not happy.  But why am I so happy now?”  And my brain would, Oh!” as if it understood now, and go in search of things that were delightful, or comforting, or satisfying in my world.

Of course I was a newbie with PAQs at the time.  If I had understood them as well then as I do now, I would have known to rephrase the question:  “What are some ways I can begin to feel happier now?”  or “I wonder how many things I can find to feel happier about?”

I could even have used a PAQ to find a better question.  “What are some questions I could ask to help myself feel happier now?”

How to Put Positive Affirmative Questions To Work for You

By now, you probably see how easy it is to create PAQs.  First, you decide what you want—a change in attitude, a new approach to something, a behavior change, even a tangible acquisition.

Next, you form a question based around it, using words like “why,” “what,” “how,” “how many,” “how quickly” and “I wonder.”

Finally, you take action on the answers—not only because the answers will lead to success,  but to reinforce the whole process and prove its worth to you.

Sikes recommends that you think up questions for yourself every morning and every night, and that you practice with the method for 21 days in a row.   If you decide to adopt this as your positivity practice for the month, I guarantee that one month from now, you’ll see concrete evidence of this little tool’s mighty power.

You can start right now.  Ask yourself, “How many ways can I show Susan how much I liked this article?” [end of article]

Well, there you have it. I must point out that this is an article about my work. There is much that is missed. Still, asking any positively phrased questions is useful. That is why I post this article. Others have come along since I shared my work, and since this article.

The others mentioned in the article too, missed important nuances about the work. They missed the heart of how to use questions to direct the mind, but they got that asking questions is important.

I released much of my work and information on the Inet in articles,  in my live workshops and many of my audio programs. The ‘Ultimate NLP Home Study Program™’ which is Mind Design™ based, is still available and will be offered on my new platform. Get it.

It is useful! Directed Questions™ works powerfully because it is how the mind works. It is built from how the brain most naturally operates. Directed Questions™ are a part of my Mind Design™ process. I can’t emphasize enough how incredibly powerful DQ™ is. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

CLICK HERE To Read Another Article On Directing Your Mind

CLICK HERE For Another Article You May Enjoy

Develop your inner power! Learn to manifest your desires! Enjoy abundance! Enroll in Mind Design™. Join me and my students. Together, we can help you create your best life ever. Learn how to really live. Become fully alive. Live your best dreams!

“‘Directed Questions’ created by Rex Sikes and the Mind Design course I am doing is very helpful. I change not only my focus but mindset, attitude and results. Helps me turn challenging situations into playful voyages of discovery and delight. Thanks to the Mind Design process, I have discovered that I have more indomitable strength and courage than I gave myself credit for!” Kathy Strong, NLP Trainer and Coach, Bleadon, England

“Mind Design helps me choose amazing thinking instead of habitual thoughts that aren’t useful. I form new habits in thought and feeling that result in actions that get me my goals. The possibilities are endless.” Robert Bogsten, Marketing Copyrighter, Turku, Finland

“I’ve spent over 30 years seeking out the top experts in human performance. There is nothing I’ve found that comes close to Mind Design. It is the ultimate life enhancement experience! Michael Halbfish, Lawyer, Bethlehem PA

STOP STRUGGLING! START CREATING YOUR BEST LIFE.  It’s Easy, Fun and Powerful! It’s incredible!

Join my Mind Design™ Online Program. Revolutionize Your Life

Enroll In Mind Design™ Click link for details! Join the many people who are positively transforming their minds and creating their best lives ever! You can too! Get it? Ask for information today!

Life is easier and more enjoyable than you ever realized. Learn to use your mind to get what you want!

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch