“Here are some of my methods to get unstuck. For people in therapy, it’d be much more effective if the counselor and the client, or therapist and patient, walked during the session than if they sat in the chairs. When we sit, we get stuck. We get entrenched. We’re frozen in place and more easily maintain a position or point of view (literally and figuratively) than if we’re moving.
Our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, our mental and emotional state gets associated with the ‘place’ and or anchored in place. We subconsciously associate problems to the chair we’re seated in. Since the focus is on the problem, every week the client comes in and sits down to pour out their problems. If you understand NLP or Pavlovian conditioning it’s the same as ringing the bell.
The chair, the feeling of being in the same chair, what they see always sitting in the same chair, the same way, looking at the same things while thinking of what is wrong makes it easier to find what is wrong, the problem, and it’s much tougher to find solutions or what is right. The mind travels in directions. Plus, looking at the therapist anchors or transfers much of this to the therapist.
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Once the client pours out the problems the two should get up and take a walk to find solutions. Move from stuck to neutral and walk. Don’t just sit in the same place, facing in the same direction. It’s harder to come up with new possibilities after focusing on problems for many minutes. SO change what you are doing. Standing is harder than moving. Walking frees the mind and body.
This applies to sitting over a conference table or arguing over the dinner table. We become anchored to a way of thinking, being and acting. We ‘take a position’ and defend it. When you want to discuss possibilities, take a walk. Think about people fighting. Boxers square off and face each other. From this position they fight. They couldn’t fight much standing side by side facing in the same direction, like when you walk together. Moving the body stimulates the mind and possibilities.
When you both walk side by side you explore things together. You discover things nearly simultaneously. You are walking along and seeing the same things while moving at the same pace. You are more in harmony figuratively and literally. It is easier to come to an agreement or find a mutually acceptable solution, or the client or patient to find possibilities when moving.
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I’ve been teaching therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, CEO’s administration and many others to use my approach to generating solutions and successful outcomes for at least 40 years. Movement creates movement. Momentum is generated. Remember, a body at rest tends to stay at rest until acted on by an equal or greater force. We tend to stay put. It’s inertia unless we move.
When you are not entrenched or stuck sitting or defending your position you are freer to find agreement or solutions. Do this for yourself! It can work wonders! Get up. Get moving. Get breathing. Get thinking in new ways. The energy shifts just doing these things. Another way to align with people is to sit facing the same direction or stand and walk in the same direction. Get it?
Sitting opposite over a table or in therapy is more confrontational even when it isn’t meant to be. Take the side of the other person. As when couples walk or sit holding hands. They tend to be in greater rapport or agreement. By moving, whether alone or with another person you wake things up. You add energy. It is helpful when sad or depressed. Movement creates more movement.
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Remember, inertia applies when depressed. This scientific principle also applies to movement. A body that is moving tends to remain moving unless an equal or greater force acts on it. Once you get up and take some small positive actions it is easier to remain doing so and moving in the right direction. If you create small, positive, happy, successful wins it is easier to continue. Bit by bit.
Winning creates more winning. We say, ‘we are on a roll,’ or ‘going with the flow,’ or ‘in the zone’ when the momentum we create sustains us. If we do nothing, we remain as we are. If we move just a little bit we can eventually cover great distances. Remember, standing is harder than moving so get moving. Stop being stuck. Let go. Release it. Interrupt the pattern. Breathe. Sigh. Pause.
Take a momentary time out to interrupt the pattern and then move in the right direction. STOP, shift to neutral, breathe and then shift to the positive. If you want something that helps you do this so you don’t have to do it all on your own, get my Attitude Activator™ audio program. It’s a relaxation audio that guides you through this process so you wire it in as a new habit. It works wonders.
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More on my next blog. Meanwhile, practice getting unstuck. Do it when you don’t need it. It is why athletes, actors, speakers, musicians practice prior to showtime. They wire it in. They make it body memory. They make it a new habit. You can too, if you will. If you do nothing, nothing will change. Get the Attitude Activator™ and take charge. Transform yourself by the renewing of your mind. Uplift your spirit and your emotions and you’ll start behaving more the way you always want to. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
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