“People use the phrase, ‘I love you’ and mean it. Some people say it but what it means is questionable. ‘I love you’ can mean anything one wants it to, AND it may mean something completely different to the recipient. We define what love is and what love means for us.

The word love is the issue. In English it’s used in many ways. ‘I love when they do that’, ‘I love how they say they will but never do’. ‘I love candy.’ ‘I love you’. How do you love that person? Do you love the person similarly to how you love candy? How do you define love?

I suggest replacing the word LOVE with the word LOVING. I recommend we replace saying ‘I love you’ with loving acts. Since, one can love a hamburger as well as a person words are cheap. Actions speak louder than words. Still, we want to convey our feelings.

Think Lovingly – Speak Lovingly – Act Lovingly – Be Loving Always

We feel the need to say something. Okay, try this on. It can make an incredible difference for you! One ought to behave lovingly toward the person one claims to LOVE. Instead of saying ‘I love you’,  say. ‘ I always want to behave towards you in loving ways.’ Get it! Do you?

NOW you have set a standard you can compare your efforts against. Are you truly behaving in a loving way or not? Is the other person responding in loving ways? How does the other person want to be treated? How does s/he, or what does s/he, consider loving ways?

ASK! You will learn how you ought to behave in loving ways so the other person/s feel loved. Get it? Stop declaring undying love. Start behaving in loving ways. You know when you are behaving in a positive, supportive, loving way and when you aren’t. You know!

Your Behaviors Either Support Or Contradict Your Claims

You know when someone is behaving toward you in loving ways and when the person isn’t. Get it? Either you are or you aren’t. Either they are  or aren’t. Stop claiming to love and start loving! Act and behave lovingly. Say loving things. Be kind and compassionate.

Be sweet and tender. Be a shoulder to lean on. Be a great listener. Be a positive presence. ‘I always want to behave in loving ways.’ THEN, make a larger commit, ‘I WILL always behave in loving ways moment to moment.’ If you don’t behave in loving ways make amends!

If you truly love the person/s you claim to, commit to treating them the in the best, most loving ways, moment to moment. If you slip up correct it and ask forgiveness. Then don’t make the same mistake again! If the other person is important to you, adjust your behavior to act lovingly. If that is your promise, keep it. Remember, ACTIONS speak louder than words. It is up to each of us. It is up to you! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

“Doing Mind Design is like practicing and instrument or going to the gym. Every day I’m honing my skills and building my Mind Design muscles. It becomes more wired into my brain, easier, and more automatic. The more I use it the more I appreciate it.” Michael Halbfish Lawyer, Bethlehem PA

“Thanks to the Mind Design process, I have discovered that I have more indomitable strength and courage than I gave myself credit for!”  Kathy Strong, NLP Trainer and Coach, Bleadon, England

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch