“People say, ‘I’ve a ‘learning disability.’ ‘It’s hard.’ ‘I’m not smart enough.’ ‘I don’t know how.’ ‘I’m stupid.’ ‘I’ve tried everything.’ First, you don’t have a learning disability. You’ve been told you have one and you’ve accepted it as true AND repeat it. You don’t. You may learn differently from others but you’re if you’re a human you’re a learning machine! Stop perpetuating imposter syndrome!

People use many harmful self-labels. They reinforce what they don’t want by blaming it is the case. it could be hard but so what. It’s certainly hard if you claim it is or if you don’t engage in doing it because you think it is hard in advance of doing it or discover it’s not as easy as you hoped or want it to be. Sometimes things are different from what we expect. Sometimes they are as we expect.

If you’ve never done something you may not know how. The Wright Brothers didn’t know how to fly until after they flew. Before that moment they were experimenting and getting feedback. Some people would call it failure and quit. They took what didn’t work and adjusted until they found what did work. Even then, until it did work, they didn’t know how to do it. Get it?

You Deserve To Live Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want

If you say you are stupid, fat, broke, lonely then what. How does that help you feel better and move forward? Stop reinforcing what you don’t like about yourself or the world and aim your mind towards what you want and what you can think, feel and do differently to get the results you want to get. Stop affirming what you don’t want and start affirming what you do want. ‘I can learn easily too.’

Or ‘in my past I would have said I was stupid but now I know I learn in a variety of ways. I can begin to learn that I can learn more easily and swiftly and with more fun and joy than I ever have before. I can begin learning that I am smarter than I ever thought I was. I …’ Get it. Reinforce what you want rather than what you don’t. Reinforce what you ARE, not what you think is wrong.

No person can do everything or try everything. You can only do what you are aware of but not what you don’t yet know about. End the silliness. You may have tried many things. SO what. The Wright Brothers tried until they flew. Edison is said to have experimented with making the lightbulb 10,000 times. There are things you don’t know about yet. Relax. Learn to think and do other things.

Freedom Can Be Yours BUT If You Do Nothing, Nothing Changes!

We can suppose the labels people put upon us or that we adopted were meant with good intentions but it’s still labeling. Labels are used for identifying, classifying and limiting. If it is labeled a particular way you don’t have to think about it in other ways. You react to it by its label. People are so willing to label themselves broken, abused, hurt, slow, and many other ones because they learned to.

Learners come in all varieties and capacities and all shapes, sizes, colors, religious, political beliefs, nationalities and whatever. Some learn certain things more quickly than others. Some learn more methodically and take more time. Some need to see it. Some need to hear it. Some need to walk through it or get hands-on experience and any combination of two or all three.

Brains may function differently but stop calling it a disability. Your brain just works differently. You have a size 7 shoe. Others have other sizes. You’re different from some and like others. It’s not a problem unless you make it one. Celebrate your differences and similarities. Celebrate that you are a learning machine. You learn all sorts of wonderful things, silly things, and hurtful things.

You Deserve To Create The Life You Want

You may not do as poorly or as well as others. Standardization is for the educators to set pass and fail markers. With that as the standard it neglects the fact that we all learn. We may or may not be able to regurgitate the ‘fact’s we were supposed to commit to memory during the time frame given us and are marked poorly but so what. Educators work from a one size fits all premise. We differ.

When they use percentile, it isn’t to edify or encourage the person but for other purposes. Standardization isn’t bad, but it limits understanding in many ways. People are routinely categorized. Some as great students. Some as poor ones. Some are troublemakers. Some do everything they’re told. Some fidget, so they have a disorder and get meds. Others sit quietly as told. We are different.

This is important. Just because you have been labeled or diagnosed doesn’t make it so. There are many who are told they’d never succeed who go on to great success. There are those who are told they have what it takes to make it and are lauded who end up doing nothing of the kind. We are different and there is nothing wrong with that. Emphasize your talents. Embrace your abilities.

If You Do Nothing, Nothing Changes!

Downplay what you are not so good at. If you stick with it, if you get good coaching or training you may surprise yourself with how much you are able to do you never thought you could BECAUSE you were led to believe you couldn’t and wouldn’t. Stop believing the lies others told you and you tell yourself. Learn to stop labeling yourself. Stop judging. You ain’t done yet stop acting like you are.

You are open to change and develop in ways you may not ever have imagined or be able to imagine yet. You’re a walking miracle even if you were labeled as slow or with a learning disability. The notion of learning differently is made clear in a fable originated by George Reavis, Superintendent of Public Schools in Cincinnati. In his story ‘Animal School’ a duck is instructed to improve its ability to run.

A rabbit is told to work on its swimming and a fish is encouraged to work on climbing skills. His point is educators AND others often ignore the natural talents and strengths of the individual. It’s an important point. If the learner’s reminded of all the things the learner can’t do and is rarely praised for areas the learner excels in, the doubt is not an unreasonable outcome. It is programming.

Change Your Thoughts and Transform Your Life

Because of the conditioning process no matter how good the child is at the things s/he excels at, that child can’t help but start to doubt his or her own abilities. If a child isn’t praised or encouraged in learning but always reminded where the child falls short, misspells words, reads slowly, misses steps in math problems, can’t dribble a basketball, that child may decide s/he’s not good enough at ‘it.’

That doesn’t mean the child can’t or shouldn’t enhance or improve their abilities but it’s about a balance of encouragement with the recognition and praise they are performing well in the process. We ought to balance the areas that need work with the areas they are good at. This way the grow in self-esteem and positive self-image. They remain enthusiastic and enjoy the learning process. Get it?

Another component frequently overlooked is reminding the learner the more we do, the more we become capable of doing. Because one may be struggling now, doesn’t mean they’ll always have difficulty. Things change. The more we do, the better we get. The better we get, the easier it gets. The easier it gets, the better we get. It’s a cycle. We increase our abilities along the way.

You Deserve To Live The Life You Want

Dropping balls is part of juggling. At first juggling may seem difficult. It’s normal for most people who begin to think so because they’ve never done it. To say, ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’ll never get this’ is to act as if you are God and you know the future and you are doomed to fail. You don’t know yet how good you can get by sticking with it. Suspend the judgement. Suspend the labels. That’s conditioning talking.

If you have ever changed your mind, you know it is possible, however unlikely, to change it. If you have ever thought you didn’t like something only to end up liking it then you know things change. Whether that be a food you hated that you now enjoy or a person you once loved and hate or once hated and now love. Things change. Give yourself permission to change and stop labeling.

Einstein never said it, but it’s been attributed to him. Still, the quote is worth understanding. ‘Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.’ You’ve areas you excel in and areas you haven’t yet. You are a living process in the life process. You ain’t done yet. The jury isn’t in.

Happiness Can Be Yours BUT If You Do Nothing, Nothing Changes!

God didn’t die and leave you the authority on who you are or how good or not good you might be at something. CUT yourself some slack! Stop judging. Stop criticizing. Yes, the feelings of inadequacy, fraud, or anxiety are anchored in, but they too can be changed. Expect the best and you are more likely to discover it. Give yourself permission to love and accept yourself. Accept and love yourself.

Einstein did say, ‘The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.’ Stop using your imagination to limit yourself. Stop imagining yourself as less-than-glorious. You can, you know. You can begin to develop the confidence and certainty that comes with competence and mastery. You can relearn, retrain, recondition yourself to recognize your fine ability to learn almost anything. Get this!

Start encouraging yourself in positive directions instead of reinforcing the old negative program you learned early on. That you were conditioned IS GOOD news because it means you can recondition yourself. Get it? Whatever you learned to accept or reject you can learn to think, feel and behave differently about it if you so choose. Come with me and I’ll show you how. Do what it takes to learn new ways of being. I’m here to help. Enough for today. More next time. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes