“How do you level-up your connections to do business, navigate a career and live life the way you’d like? Connect with those who can help BY first offering to help them. Add value to them and their efforts. Don’t ask for help until they’ve known you to be helpful. Don’t give them your resume, invention, pitch deck or screenplay until they ask. Be friendly, respectful and polite. Engage in meaningful respectful peer to peer conversation.

If they’re a big wig and you’re not, don’t try to impress them. Most whales know who is any who isn’t. So, how can you interest them? Find a way to discuss things they are interested in, that you know about, to engage Don’t be a fawning fan. Don’t beg. Don’t grovel. Don’t adore. Be worth getting to know by becoming a person worth knowing. That doesn’t mean rich and successful. That means a good person who adds value.

Be a person who is likable, friendly, and honest. Caring and compassionate. Treat everyone well. Treat people who serve you well. Why? Because they are serving you. I mean, c’mon, do I really have to provide a reason. Consider going to a BIG whale’s swanky home staffed by butlers, chauffeurs, maids, cooks and more. Treat everyone who serves you as if they are the boss. Why, because first they are people serving others. That’s why.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

That SHOULD be enough reason. But here’s another one. They work and may live in that home. They may have the owner’s ear. They may be able to provide a kind word about you when necessary. Better than they could and never do than to grumble or complain about you. Treat the gatekeepers like gold. They are your access to those you want to connect with and can help you if they like you. DO NOT BE obsequious. Be genuine.

Who are gatekeepers? Those I just mentioned. The first line of defense. The obstacle getting to the whale. Receptionists, secretaries, some VP’s and administrators, script readers, agents, managers etc. They represent the boss. They can open doors for you. BE nice. When I was young in Hollywood, I didn’t realize this. I thought they were just staff. NO SUCH THING. I didn’t treat them poorly; I just didn’t treat them better.

They are important people in the climb to the top. Many PAs and assistants one day become the boss or the head of a company or studio. Rule of thumb is be nice to everyone on the way up because you’ll pass them on the way down. Be polite, courteous, respectful of who they are and their position. No one and no job should be beneath you or me. Demonstrate respect. Demonstrate care. If you bring a gift, make it a token, but not too impressive.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Bring a flower, a tray of coffee or snacks and say something like, ‘I was taught to never show up empty handed. Perhaps, you’d like one of these, or this.’ Next time you see them, you might say, ‘I saw this flower on the way over and thought you might enjoy it.’ Just don’t give flowers that mean love. Or something else. When it is possible to converse, and sometimes it isn’t so don’t bother them while at work, remember what they say.

Write down what they say. If they tell you about family, business or their interests so you can talk about these at another time. Treat them as a person of worth, be genuinely interested, and you are more likely to win favor. Remember, people tend to say yes to people they like. When you have an appointment or call, follow up. Don’t let it drop. Don’t be a pest but follow up. Send a handwritten note thanking them, remembering their birthday.

If you learned it, or congratulate them on a promotion or accomplishment. BE human. Be interested without stalking. Be genuine. Be caring to all. They observe you as you observe them. Be likable. Authentically. It is not who you know but who knows you that matters. Do they know AND like you? Would they want you to join them on a camping trip? Are you positive and optimistic? No one likes a grumbler.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

PROVE your worth by working hard, going the extra mile, being early to work or appointments, staying late when you can to lend an extra hand. Be cheerful, positive, optimistic. Be a team player. Collaborate. Cooperate. Demonstrate your worth. Be the tide that rises the boat and everyone in it. Applying some or all these practices can increase your success ratio and the people who enjoy connecting with you. Help them when you can and they’re apt to help you, especially if they like you. Get it? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Moe Rock, CEO The Los Angeles Tribune says, “One of the best books in personal development published in the last 25 years.” 

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