“Some readers may be old enough to recall a particular punishment or learning method applied when they were young and at school. You were told to write 100 times ‘I will not talk during class’. ‘I will not tease Sally.’ ‘I will not fight on the playground.’ Remember this?
If you ever had to write it out, most probably you will. Repetition is the very effective way we learn new behaviors, create habits and extinguish old, negative behaviors by replacing them. Repetition works wonders. It is proven to work, without question.
What is questionable are the instructions as listed above. We have known for many, many decades, that the brain does not process a negative but works only with affirmative commands. What do I mean? I mean the ‘not’ isn’t noticed in the sentence or command.
Don’t Think Of A Blue Elephant Wearing A Pink Hat
While we can understand what is intended and operate on it, it takes a few extra brain steps to do so. Think of it this way. If the brain ignores the word ‘not’ or ‘don’t what does it notice, remember and act on. Imagine this sentence, ‘Don’t forget your watch!’
If ‘don’t’ is eliminated or ignored, what is left? ‘Forget your watch!’ If you say, ‘I will not talk in class.’ What is remembered if ‘not’ is ignored? ‘I will talk in class’. You know you are not supposed to but what do you write 100 times over and over. ‘I will talk in class.’
That is not the complete sentence, but the ‘not’ is ignored. So, ‘I wont tease Sally.’ or ‘I won’t fight (or will not) fight during recess’ emphasizes the very behavior you want the child, or person, to eliminate or avoid doing. So what should they write instead?
Affirm What You Want – State It Positively – Focus Focus Focus
If you want them to do a particular behavior or learn something positively phrase it. Say or write, ‘I will remember to take my watch.’ ‘I will treat Sally nicely and with respect.’ ‘I will sit quietly and pay attention during class.’ ‘I will be friendly and play nice during recess.’
Get it? Affirm what you want and stop affirming what you do not want. State things in the positive. ‘I am confident.’ or ‘I am learning to be confident.’ Or ‘I am in the process of becoming more confident.’ Get it? Say what YOU WANT to manifest. BECAUSE…
Whatever you say is what you get! If you say, ‘This will be tough.’ you are setting yourself up for it to be difficult. If you say, ‘I have trouble remembering names,’ guess what you have difficulty with? Say what you want. Mean what you intend to mean. Drop negative phrasing.
You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You – You Create Your Reality
When you do so much becomes easier. You may say well, ‘That’s hard. I have difficulty phrasing things positively.’ Yes, in fact you do. You just said so. You affirmed and validated it. OKAY, so what if it is tough? Do you really want to stop there or would you like to change?
If you want to change, you could say, “It was difficult for me to think positively about myself but I am in the processes of learning to think powerful, positive new thoughts about me.’ ‘Each time I affirm that I am wonderful I begin to believe it a little bit more.’ Get it? Do it!
Start phrasing things, describing things, talking about and thinking about things in positive terms of what you want to create, make happen, manifest or attract. Eliminate that which you want to avoid, or eliminate. Get it? “Yes, I am beginning to understand this!’
Learn To Aim Your Thoughts And Language At What You Want
‘I am in the process of learning how to speak positively. I am beginning to speak only to bless, heal and prosper myself and others. I am learning to only discuss what I want to enjoy more of. I am in the process of discovering I create my reality by what I think and say.’
Get it? You can do this. Affirm what you want. Drop the rest. Look for the good and that which you can be grateful for and emphasize these things, people, and moments. Take the sting out of circumstances by deliberately choosing where and what to focus on. Look for the blessings and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch