“If you’re in a canoe in the middle of a large river or lake and suddenly needed to be on the shore you know you can’t teleport. You can’t jump that far either. You also know you need to keep an eye on where you are headed. Negative self-talk and staring at the canoe bottom won’t get you there any faster. You have to navigate to where you need to and want to be.

Continued from: The Power of Thinking Positive! How To Make Your Thoughts Work For You Parts 1-7

So you paddle. Each stroke gets you there bit by bit. With consistent effort, you get there eventually. The time will go by quicker if you are in a good frame of mind rather than a poor frame of mind. We all know about feeling good or bad and the passage of time. The worse you feel the slower time seems to go by. The point is you can’t jump. You can’t make that large of a leap. You have to get to the shore incrementally. You get closer with each paddle you make.

Sometimes, we discover we’re in a funk and we want to feel better. We want to feel ecstasy but that’s too big a leap from where you’re at. You have to incrementally move toward ecstasy one paddle at a time. First, maybe you need to take a walk. Calm down. Talk it out to dissipate the energy. Use some relaxation methods or NLP technique to chill and get some distance.

You need to get into neutral and from neutral move forward toward ecstasy. Think of driving a stick shift. Each time you shift gears you go from park through neutral to drive. From drive you go through neutral to reverse. Get it? You always move from the not so good to neutral. And from neutral to the much better feelings. Remember, you move forward one paddle stroke at a time.

For example: Eventually, you move from devastation to okay. Then, from okay, to not so bad. Then on to feeling better. From better you move to amused. Then, you move from amused to calm, well-being AND and from there toward subtle happiness. From happiness, you move to exhilaration. From there move to ecstasy. You do it in steps or stages, moving only as fast as you can change from one feeling to the next better one. Don’t rush. Take your time.

Some form of this process occurs when when we do nothing. When you don’t actually seem to do anything. This is what happens anyway when given enough time. ‘Time heals all wounds.’ The healing occurs as we move from the one stuck state, bit by bit, to other emotional states. We eventually move on and leave the less than glorious feelings behind.

This IS what happens when we say, ‘time heals all wounds.’ You begin to get free so you can behave in other ways. Actually, you participate in the process but very, very slowly and mostly outside of consciousness. It just seems as if time is the great healer but, in is not. Time heals nothing but in time, or through time you change your feelings and thinking. You shift. Time is only a record.

To take charge of your feelings means you become aware and recognize where you’re at. Acknowledge where you are and accept it. Allow it, even thank it, because IT’S a signal. You may not feel total gratitude at first but go through this process enough times and you’ll get better at it. Through correct, consistent, spaced repetition, it will become automatic eventually. Get it?

Be grateful when you recognize you’re stuck or resisting. It could be your own thoughts, feelings or behaviors you resist. You could be resisting another person who presents a challenge, or events or circumstances that aren’t to your liking. Whatever it is, once you recognize it or become aware of it in the moment, feel thankful you’re moving into the freedom to feel and be anything else.

From stuck (which you know you don’t want) you choose what you’d rather feel instead. It should be different from what you’re currently feeling and just a little bit better or more positive than what you were just feeling. If you’re depressed, anger could be a more positive step because when angry you tend to do things. You’re active and engaged when angry. Get it? You don’t wallow, you act.

Choose baby steps back toward feeling awesome. There are signals that accompany each step. If you take too big a leap and you feel frustrated, or saddened or worse, go back and make a tiny step. Don’t t get caught up in thinking about things too much. Let go. If you can’t easily decide on what the next baby step is just take a guess. GUESS! Guess whatever feeling state might be more appropriate to move to. THEN Try it! JUST friggin’ do it. Don’t sit there. Do it. Try it. Get it? ACT!

If you get a signal that what you tried isn’t the right one, guess again. Repeat this until you get the relief. When you do this you learn a great many things and train yourself to be much more resourceful. I’ll address more of this later. When you can’t consciously pick a more resourceful state  trust your inner wisdom by taking a guess. Both work! You can be delightfully surprised.

Anytime, ANYTIME, you encounter negative feelings or feel stuck or resistance JUST course correct. Move into neutral and then back toward positive. This IS what a guidance system does. This IS what happens in autopilot. This is what you would do if you were driving to another city and you discovered you went off the course. You would turn around and course correct. You course correct so that you’ll end up where you want to end up.

This is what I mean by controlling your emotions. When you take charge of your thinking and feeling you don’t force yourself to feel other than you do. What we feel is important and we can feel many things. You don’t invalidate your feelings all of them are valuable. You recognize them, validate them, appreciate each of them and move on. All feels are resources and can be signals.

This is an incredible skill to learn. As with all skill you learn by doing. The more you have an opportunity to do this and repeat it, the faster you’ll make correct actions and the faster you make it a positive habit. Be grateful when ‘shit’ comes up because it’s an opportunity to let go and transform. Get this and you win. Get this and you’re ahead of the game.

You learn how to let go and accept what is whenever it’s necessary. You validate all emotions. Pain is an indicator that something needs attention in the body or the psyche so that it can be healed and resolved.  We may not like the sensations but the signals are there for VERY important reasons. The signals are there to get our attention so we engage in the correct actions to remedy what’s wrong.

If you hurt yourself of feel ill the signals are their for you to seek attention, stop activity that might further injure you and to seek to rest, relax and recover. Pain serves a very useful and important function. Many people tend to fight and ignore the signals until the problem is larger than it would have been had they caught it early on.

If we’re able to catch it at the beginning point of the emotion we can prevent what is called ’emotional flooding’ where we get saturated with feelings from the chemicals surging inside us. When the sensations are wonderful we don’t mind and we enjoy them. BUT if they’re painful we don’t like it and resist it. Resisting makes us hurt all the more. Imagine a snowball on the top of a huge mountain. As it rolls down it gathers snow and becomes very large and practically unstoppable. The more it travels and the larger it becomes the more momentum it has. It can devastate everything in its path.

In order to stop the negative feelings we have to catch the feelings when they are only a tiny snow ball atop the mountain. If we can catch them when we first get the signal we can prevent them from becoming too large. This opportunity presents itself each time we feel less than glorious. Each time we successfully catch it and redirect it we are learning something of great importance. We are training and rewiring our brain to do what we want it to do now and in the future, instead of what it used to do we didn’t like.

The signal’s there for us to pay attention to. The signal’s there from the onset. What we need to do is learn to recognize it and acknowledge it. Accept it. Be grateful we got the signal and then nudge ourself to feel something a little less ‘bad’. Get it. Nudge yourself toward feeling a little more positive. This IS how we can prevent the snowball from crushing the village below. We circumvent the disaster by learning to redirect the feelings AND do things a new way. We don’t resist. We redirect.

You can do this. It’s possible. It gets easier and easier. Trust me. You don’t have to find times to do this exercise they will seem to appear all on their own. You simply want to take advantage of them as they occur. You may make mistakes. That’s okay. You may have been doing things another way for much of your life. When you begin to learn to do things in a new way there’s a learning curve so be gentle with yourself. Whenever you notice yourself thinking or feeling less than glorious, give yourself a gentle nudge.

For more than 30 years in my live seminars, I have taught this and other powerful processes that countless students have used with great success. It works. They did it. So can you! Here’s some very good news. If any one human can learn to do anything, all the rest of us can too. While it’s true some may be naturally better than others ANYONE can learn to do what another person has learned to do.

If you’re 4’6 you may not get to play basktetball with the giants but you can become the best 4’6 basketball player to ever hit the courts. You have to know that the potential resides in you. It lies dormant until it’s awakened. You awaken it by determining what you want, defining your goal, and pursuing it passionately. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, tall or short, fat or thin, the color of your skin, your nationality, your religion or politics.

Within you is great potential! Don’t let it go to waste. Do not let anything stop you. Never let a ‘negative’ thought or feeling prevent you from living the life you deserve. Pursue your passions and make your dreams come true. Get this. You have the power within but you must find it and use it. When you do everything changes. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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