“If your goal is to lead others, first examine why that appeals to you. What are your priorities? What are your needs? What are you attempting to fulfill? Why? What’s your purpose? Why do you want to? Why do you think you can lead? Check your own priorities. Many people want power, shiny objects, fame and money. They want what comes from being up front or at the top. They don’t care about the people so much, but about themselves.

Think they’ll get these benefits by leading, coaching, training, and selling others. Some people care more about what’s in it for them and not what it’s in it for the people they desire to lead. Get it? Why do you want what you want? Are you the kind of person who is best able to deliver the goods? Are you just seeking some imagined benefit or glory for yourself? I delivered a 3 part video series on leadership on youtube. Watch here.

Not everyone who touts results and shows pictures of jets, homes, yachts and cars are good leaders. They may have gotten some money and status but that doesn’t mean they’re someone to follow. It doesn’t mean they can teach, train, coach, mentor or share what they did. Some use shiny objects to get you to do just that. They want followers. Likes and followers, numbers are important to them. Status, money, fame and things aren’t everything.

Live Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want

It may seem like it. I’ve noticed this for decades. Some people would come into my workshops and training programs count the heads, do the math and decide this is what they now want to do to make money. They want the fast track to cash. They don’t realize the work that goes into training and guiding the minds of others. They don’t get that it is about respect, understanding where others are coming from, compassion, commitment and care.

They didn’t consider the years spent learning from others, doing the legwork, putting in the hours, the sweat, the tears and all the moments it takes to get good enough to share something of value. They just do the math and think it’s for them. They didn’t consider the time it took to build an honorable reputation. In the days of old they didn’t consider the costs to learn and then to build a business and the overhead associated with all of this.

When the internet arrived suddenly people found they could say and do almost anything on it. Suddenly, people I knew who’d never studied or conducted training promoted themselves as world class top dogs. They jumped in and marketed well and got some clients or customers or followers. Some built big, big businesses on lies. Others gave up and disappeared. Others used it to write books about things they never really did. It was easy online.

Live Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want

Some of those who’ve acquired things may be worth learning from and some not. Possessions, fame, fortune and power shouldn’t be the sole criteria for choosing a teacher, coach, trainer, presenter or leader. Results, as they’re touted today shouldn’t be either. Good people and bad people can get results and have lots of things. Both can tout successes and make claims. Some have things, some don’t. It isn’t what you show you have that’s important.

Who is the person? What do they stand for? Do they genuinely care? Do they have your interests in their heart? Can you tell? Do they walk the talk? Do they wear their values on their sleeve and can you tell what is important to them? Is it always about them or is it more about you? Are they always talking about what they’ve done, name dropping and seeking to persuade you through self-aggrandizing stories and celebrities they may know?

It’s important to be discerning. Not everything is as it appears. Not everything that glitters is gold. Not everything that looks like lead isn’t valuable. Many people would miss a diamond in the rough. It’s not the appearance that matters the most. It is not the presentation but the person that matters. Who you are determines what you do. Do they lead with the goal of helping you surpass them or do they just want more numbers to brag about?

Live Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want

What is in it for them and what is in it for you? Lisa Haisha makes a great point. She said, ‘Great leaders don’t set out to be a leader. They set out to make a difference. It’s never about the role. It’s about the goal.’ The people who make the most difference didn’t do it for the glory but did it to make a difference. They did it to help. They did it to heal. They don’t aggrandize themselves; they aggrandize you. They don’t sweet talk you but help uplift you.

They became leaders not because they wanted to lead but because they wanted to do things for a higher purpose. They help you be better by focusing on you and what you can do. Those who aren’t genuine focus more on themselves to get you to believe them. They want to prove to you they’re different and that you need them. They focus on the role and what it does for them. Leaders aren’t here to make followers but help others to lead too.

What can you do? Focus on being the best you. Focus on being authentic. Be genuine. Focus on enhancing your excellent qualities to be better, feel better, speak better, behave better and help better. Be honest. Be transparent. Be loving and kind. Be interested in others. Be open. be accepting. Listen to listen. Listen to understand. Allow people to be themselves without judgement. Be committed to a higher purpose. Be compassionate. Be dedicated.

Live Life On Your Terms: Create The Life You Want

Focus on the people who gather to uplift, inspire, bless, heal, prosper and edify. Help others rise above. From within to without. Lead from the heart more than the head. Walk the talk. Seek not to impress. Be a light and those who can see will gather. Live in and from the light. Remain loving & kind and don’t let money, fame or power govern you. You oversee those things. Don’t let them oversee you. Walk the talk!

Transform yourself by the renewing of your mind. Love others. Give first and you are far better off than seeking to get from others. Develop positive relationships. We are all in the boat together. Doesn’t matter where you sit or what position you’re in. Recognize and understand this. You’ll help more people who can help others if your purpose is to help enable them to be the fullest expression of themselves. Make it about them.

Make it about making a difference and not yourself or the role. The purpose of a tour guide is to assist others in seeing the beauty of what is there and avoid pitfalls. It is not about being a tour guide. Lead by example. Be it first. Then you can do it. Then you can have what comes with being decent, honest, giving and an asset to others. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes