“What do you do when you shock or disappoint yourself? You plan for the best but somehow you behave the opposite. You argue when you try everything not to. You break a commitment. You hurt a loved when and didn’t mean to. What to do? What can you do?
You stop. Take a deep breath. Let go and release. Do your best not to blame yourself or others. Don’t make excuses. Sit with it and reflect. You may not have an answer but somewhere there is some old conditioning rearing its head. It happens to us all. It really does.
Despite your best intentions and efforts you behaved counter to what you wanted to. You wanted a nice evening and it all went to hell. You hoped to enjoy the weekend but it became a disaster. It takes two to tango and you were party to it. What gives?
One’s Best Success Often Comes After One’s Worst Disaster
Some old habits die hard. Sometimes, crap happens. Life hands you lemons. That is just the way it is. I wouldn’t write too much into it. I would however, wonder what I might release to be different. I would really let go and just sit with it as much as possible without judging.
I wouldn’t discard it or be flippant in regard to it. I’d assume everything happens for a reason so that I can learn to be a better person. That somewhere I may have been harboring resentments, or issues, or ‘whatever’ that needed to come out. AND they did.
They may have come out when least expected. Bad timing, perhaps. What I am trying to get at is, crap happens. Don’t invest in it. Don’t judge or blame yourself or others. Don’t regret. Make corrections and apologies if you are able to. Don’t over analyze. Just be.
The Kite Rises Highest Against The Wind – Learn To Soar
It is what it is. What can you learn from it? How can you transform because of or in spite of it? How can you grow and evolve to be an even better person? Use it to learn how to be better now and in the future. There is no ultimate answer that I know of. It just is.
Find the blessing. Find the silver lining. That doesn’t mean you excuse your behavior if you were at fault, or if you did harm. It means learn, grow. Own up. Take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Don’t deny. Don’t ignore. But don’t wallow.
Don’t pity. Don’t berate. Don’t hate yourself. Forgive, love and accept that you are human and sometimes screw up. That’s what humans do. We are not perfect. We all make mistakes. Accept that you will continue to make mistakes, hopefully not the same ones.
There Is No Failure – Only Feedback – Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Mistakes are opportunities to get feedback, make corrections, adjust and improve. If you let someone down or violated their trust, if they allow you to make amends, then perhaps, you can. They may or may not forgive you. That’s up to them. You can forgive yourself.
You can forgive them. It doesn’t matter whether they know it or not. Forgive them for yourself, so you can let go if you harbor any ill will. Recognize that tomorrow will be another day. Who knows what it will bring. You fell down. Get up, dust off. Move forward.
Expect the best again. Don’t lose hope. Don’t give up because of an event. Stay the course. Get back on track. Shift away from the less than glorious and to the positive and productive. Focus what you want to create. Now, you know better what you want. Don’t you?
You’re Not A Finished Product – You Are A Work In Process
You know you didn’t want the ‘incident’. What is it you want instead? Phrase it in the positive. What good do you want? Focus on bringing that about even if you aren’t yet sure how. You know what you don’t want to happen. Now, turn your attention to what you do want.
Stop focusing on the event. You don’t want to give it energy and recreate it. You want to create something else. Put your energy and attention on what you do wish to create. For example, you had a fight but you want to get along. Don’t think about the fighting.
Imagine all the ways you can get along, all the wonderful, nice things, you can do to create rapport, trust and understanding. See yourself, feel yourself, behaving in loving way. Program your mind for what you want to include and leave what you don’t want, alone.
Be Thankful Even During The Trials – Celebrate Everything
I think this is how we remedy a bad situation. We look at it realistically. We sit with it a bit. We learn what we want, instead. We forgive and let it go. We put into practice making what we want a reality. From within to without. Our thoughts create our reality.
We celebrate the opportunity. Consider everything a blessing. We move forward. We choose to feel the best we can about what was a less than glorious situation. We transform ourselves by the renewing of our minds. I don’t have all the answers, but I hope this helps. From our learning we can celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Amaze yourself today!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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