Are their times when you just feel lackluster? You know you could and should feel better but you don’t? Perhaps, you are frustrated, angry, sad, anxious or fearful and want to shake it. Ever feel like that? Maybe you simply feel bored? You could be upset with yourself, others, events or circumstances but whatever it is you just want some relief right? What to do?
I’ll paraphrase a quote attributed to Einstein which states essentially, the solution is never found at the same level that the problem was created. By this it is meant we have to seek elsewhere for the resolution. This is an outstanding point to keep in mind! We rarely, if ever, solve the problem by constantly focusing on it. You have to stop and turn your attention elsewhere.
He did say, and I use it to make this point, ‘…we must realize that we cannot simultaneously plan for war and peace’. We can not focus on two things at once. We are not able to hold two thoughts at one time in our mind. It is not effective to be negative and positive, we need to choose which one to make dominant. If you are feeling less than glorious you won’t feel any better by continuing to focus on it. So you need to move away from those feelings toward something else, but how?
You know the ‘tip of the tongue’ phenomena. You know what you want to say, that person’s name, or that place, that you know YOU know, but can’t summon it up, right now. You can’t recall it for the life of you and the more you try to get it the more it eludes you. YOU cannot force it no matter how hard you try. SO what do you end up having to do? You give up, you forget about it, you go on to something else AND then what happens? Later, it pops into your head!!!
You had to shift your attention away from what you wanted to recall in order to recall it. The same is true with problems and feeling less than glorious. We have to shift our attention and get out of our own way. Focusing on why we feel bad doesn’t bring us good feelings. We have to look outside ourselves or elsewhere and let go.
Let go! Just as we had to give up searching for that name or place. We knew we knew it we just couldn’t access it. SO know that when you ‘let go’ and shift your focus and energy in other directions the answers, and feelings, and thoughts and behaviors you were trying ‘to get’ will ultimately become available to you in positive ways. They actually will when you get out of your own way and allow it!
Many creative geniuses who have struggled to create, solve or invent something and put their energy into it fully, know to take a nap and ‘sleep on it’. Archimedes solved the problem of weighing the king’s crown, by displacement of water while sliding into the bathtub. ‘Eureka!’ he exclaimed and ran off naked to tell the king. The Archimedes Principle indicates that the upward buoyant force that is exerted on a body immersed in a fluid, whether fully or partially submerged, is equal to the weight of the fluid that the body displaces. It took his body getting into the bath for the idea to ‘pop’ into his head.
In order to feel better RELAX! Let go! Shift your focus. Put it on anything other than yourself and your issue in the moment. Distract yourself by doing nice something for someone else. This is a great way to begin to feel better nearly instantly.
Are you able to find things in your life, family, friends, work, play, yourself for which you readily feel grateful? Some people can list hundreds of things right off the top of their head. Others seem to struggle to find a few. If you have difficulty looking at your life and finding all the wonderful reasons to celebrate and be thankful for then you can do a ‘compassionate comparison’.
You can look at all those millions of people who have it rougher and tougher than you have, who have less than you could ever imagine and be thankful you are, at least, better off. I mean really, most of us are well off beyond belief compared to many, MANY others. We have a roof, food, transportation, we have the basic necessities and then some!
When you make this comparison hopefully it does two things. You look into your own life and find a lot more reasons to be grateful. It stimulates your thinking and your sense of appreciation to celebrate what you do have. Your eyes and being open up and you begin to realize you are better off than you may have thought you were. You discover many new things that make you feel better. As you take inventory and celebrate and truly feel grateful your entire persona transforms. Your energy shifts. What you put your attention and focus on expands and you begin to feel even more wonderful. It is incredible!
Second, it helps you to be aware that there are people without access to what you have and it sensitizes you to their plight. It fills you with compassion and the idea that you might help ease some of the suffering of others. You can do many things small and large to assist them. Whatever action you take will be significant.
It is good to focus on helping others and to take the attention off yourself at least once in awhile. When you help others solve their problems frequently you resolve your own. While attempting to make the ‘me’ successful remember the ‘we’ who actually will help you get there. There is not a single person who ever lived who became successful without the help or co-operation of some others. Sadly, some forget this or just don’t care. Please don’t be one of those. Rise above selfishness.
You might volunteer, in some way, locally or elsewhere. You might donate whatever you can. You might give a neighbor a ride when needed. You might simply be nicer and more positive in your thoughts and actions to ALL others. Once your awareness is raised that others can benefit from positive actions, perhaps, you can share that awareness with family and friends, even strangers. Transform the world around you AND start by transforming yourself.
Thanksgiving is coming up. A day when we are suppose to count our blessings and give thanks. Many people do not have homes or family or friends. What could you do to help out? Could you put some food cans in a drive? Could you serve holiday lunch at a shelter? What might you do? There are any number of options available to do. Your generosity is for you to decide.
Helping others is an incredible way to help ourself. It makes us feel good to know we are a benefit to others. It can make us smile and warm our hearts when we see someone else smile.
When you give to others in need, wherever and whenever you find them, it can make you feel fabulous because you did something kind and sincere. You elevate yourself when you lift up others. The Golden Rule applied makes your life more marvelous when you go first and hold others in high esteem in thought, word and action even if they can’t or won’t return the same to you. You give because you want to not because they will like you or return the favor. When you give from your heart everyone benefits in positive ways, and perhaps, you the most.
‘I had the blues because I had no shoes. Until the day I walked the street. I saw a man who had no feet.’ Dennis Waitley
Really do count your blessings daily it will transform your life. Take the time to do this. Once you begin you won’t want to stop. It will make you feel good. Take a daily and nightly inventory. Let your mind return to positive thoughts of gratitude throughout each day. As you do this life will become a real celebration!
Decades ago in my live workshops (and today) I had students make it a practice to find no less than 25 things they were grateful for every night before they went to bed. They could also do it upon arising. There were those who groaned at the initial suggestion. Some would come back into the seminar room the following day or two and exclaim they could not get to 25. But within days miracle of miracles occurred. Without fail all the students would find more than 25 and then ask if they could write down more than the 25 assigned. OF COURSE THEY COULD!
In my Mind Design programs we practice gratitude, laughter, finding the good and new in each moment, adding novelty by doing routine things, habitual things, in new ways. I encouraged these and many more simple, little things that have a profound effect. We do contralateral movements known as cross crawling, some breathing and movement exercise, and we dance, we learn to ask and utilize Directed Questions to get better results. The key is to learn to approach everything in a relaxed, carefree, stress free way with positive expectations.
Lives were transformed and continue to be transformed doing little things daily. I share many of these with you in this blog. I hope you will take them to heart.
Everyday you, and only you, can make the decision to be happy and have a great day no matter what circumstances appear. When you feel good most of the time you begin making happen your dreams, goals and desires. You can easily transform your entire experience when you keep your focus on the positive. Remember the reasons to be thankful. Think well of yourself and others. Expect the best at all times no matter what. Make this a daily practice and you will be amazed.
You begin attracting and getting what you want because you radiate and reflect that kind of positive energy. When you feel marvelous you accept and are able to allow what you want in life to come to you. You more easily recognize opportunity. You attract to yourself quality people, events and circumstances because you make these happen. YOU actually attract quality! When you feel good everything you desire can come into your life.
Feel good right now. That is the goal. Choose to feel great in the present. Today, I’ve mentioned two methods you can do to immediately start to begin feeling better, and to begin feeling good. When you feel good now you open the flood gates of the future! Life is truly exciting and wonderful! Life becomes grand! ” Rex Sikes
What can you do today to make it incredible for yourself and someone else?
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