“Friends stay in touch. They don’t ghost each other. Reliability is important. Keeping one’s word is of paramount importance. Trust is earned. Your reputation precedes you. Always! That’s because your actions speak louder than your words. Be a person of integrity and responsibility. When you seek to serve others first and you go the extra mile people can tell and respond. That makes a reputation.

Seek to serve. Seek to uplift. Seek to support and to edify. WHO you are matters the most because from who you are, you do what you do. Either you are a caring person of integrity and your actions follow, or you are not. Do you seek to serve or do you seek to take? You can’t fake sincerity. Others, for the most part, can tell. Their head may deceive them, but their heart and gut will not. They will feel it on OR off.

Con artists can gain trust. They are called confidence artists. They have the ability to gain your confidence and they’re in it to take you. Genuine relationships are caring relationships. They are transparent and helpful. They’re built on mutual appreciation and harmony. Each party seeks to help the other party feel secure and cared for. They seek to take care of each other.

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Good friends don’t let each other suffer. They seek to help and uplift. They give areas close as is necessary and they allow space for growth. They give each other room to grow while growing together. They are interdependent. People can see when one is authentic. They feel it. They also can feel it when something is off. Their head can deceive them and sometimes they may be misled. But they know.

Inside we know when something isn’t right. We need to learn how to pay attention to that inner guidance. We need to learn that trust is earned. You must be trustworthy. YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND. If you don’t keep your word, your promises, your commitments, your appointments you demonstrate you don’t care and are not a person worth knowing. You demonstrate lack of integrity and caring.

Integrity, responsibility, honesty, and congruency are important. If people can’t feel they can trust you it probably means somehow you are not trustworthy. Don’t blame them. Transform yourself into a person people can trust. The word relationship is a label people put on the act of relating to each other. We don’t relationship or communication with each other. We relate. We communicate, listen and support.

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By correct actions, with positive regard and through positive relating and communicating we engage in trust building activities. Trust IS earned. Once trust is broken it is difficult, it may be impossible to get it back. So don’t lose it. Don’t violate another person’s trust. You have to walk your talk, not just talk the talk. I’d say celebrate everything instead of whining, complaining, blaming and making excuses.

YOU attract others because of WHO you are. If you are attracting vampires it’s because you are one.IF you want to stop attracting vampires don’t blame them. Transform yourself. You need to change. Don’t try to change them or blame them. Change yourself to attract a better caliber of people. People are attracted to others like moths to a flame. Are you a person who attracts awesome others?

Or do you attract those kinds of people you’d rather not? What you put out comes back to you in a variety of ways. Change yourself to attract the best by being the best. Who you attract is up to you and who you are! It’s about you, not about them. Yes, gather people who trust you because YOU are trustworthy. Gather people you trust, but not ‘yes’ people. You want honest people who speak the truth.

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You want them to be honest, direct, compassionate and forthcoming with you. You want people whose goals align with yours and yours with them so you can work together in harmony towards a greater vision or outcome. Seek to be open. Seek the higher, less traveled road. Be open. Don’t be closed. Seek honest people and be honest. Both should be so honest no one has to ever wonder. Create trust.

If others resent you, adjust yourself. Make the necessary changes to be more trustworthy and not a person to resent. Be above reproach. DOn’t leave your friends hanging. Dp your due diligence to others. Make them feel valued and appreciated. Talk is cheap. Actions are everything. If they know their interests are genuinely in your heart they can enjoy you more and open up more AND you can too.

If they doubt your motives and intentions because that’s the read they have on you, in order to repair it you must change to demonstrate integrity and that their interests truly matter. They need to know you care. You know the saying, if it is to be, it is up to me. It’s up to us to be the person of can transform and adjust and be resilient and flexible and make repairs when necessary. Don’t grow resentment.

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Treat others like gold and they are more apt to value and support you. Go the extra mile. If you mistreat another person you should feel shame. Shame is the signal you have to repair something. You need to seek forgiveness and correct the situation. It is your responsibility. To wallow in shame isn’t healthy but to use it to make corrections and transformation is a good thing. It is always upon us to change.

If you understand another person is uncomfortable, what can you do to make them more comfortable in your presence or with you. Don’t insist they change. YOU change. If a person is uncomfortable or suffering and you don nothing, you don’t exemplify likability, love, compassion, understanding or friendship. Labels and judgements don’t help. Seek to heal, not to criticize. Seek to unite not to divide.

Learn to give and to receive graciously. Birds need both wings to fly. The person of integrity does what is necessary to repair the relationship. They adjust what they are doing without blaming the others. They change how they are paying attention and become more attentive, more respectful, they listen more openly, without judgement to understand and not to speak. They seek to build rapport and trust.

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They demonstrate the relationship IS important to them. The golden rule means you do others what you want done to you. The platinum rule means you do it the way the other person would like it done. You observe, listen, understand and do it their way. You must put these practices into action. Knowing them isn’t enough. The proper fruit of knowledge is action. To know and not do is to not know.

So, don’t make others wrong. Change yourself. Don’t blame yourself but transform. Go higher. Vibe higher. Become a better person. Evolve yourself. Realize everyone may have conflict but it need not be destructive. Learn to argue while respecting each other. You can hold differences of opinion and still respect each other. What matters is how important your relationship is to the both of you.

Pay attention to your relationships. Nurture them. Don’t assume the worst of the other. Stop mind reading or inferring their intentions. Be open. Stay open. Seek to verify without succumbing to a negative narrative running in your head. Don’t create bad scenarios and pigeonhole the other person. Learn to fight fairly if you’re going to fight. Learn to let love guide you, not fear, anger or hate.

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Don’t be so busy you neglect the other. Make time for your partner. Care for the people who care for you and trust you. Take care of your relationships. I am busy is not a valid excuse. Don’t forsake important people for business and for being busy. Make the time for the people you care about. Check in with them. Don’t ghost them and expect them to understand. Stop making excuses. Be responsible.

Fill up the other person with positive energy and love. Fill their tank. Pour positive fuel into them. Always go first. care enough to go first. It takes two to tango. One always leads another follows. Leading doesn’t mean being correct. It means caring enough. Let them know you care. Pour into them and they can pour into you. If you both seek to do this, you both win. If you both seek to uplift, support and love the other then both of you are building something better. Support is a two-way street. Care enough to care. Celebrate everything alone and together. Get it. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

 

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