Self Improvement Archives - Page 31 of 33 - Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude

Don’t you want to feel better and better?

“It is not the mere repetition of affirmations or positive thoughts that make a difference. To think or say them aloud as if you are repeating the address to a business you want to find has little effect. There are two ways to make them work for you. One is to questions. Put the affirmation in the form of a question. Questions direct your mind to what you pay attention to. Use open ended questions such as, ‘I would how delighted I would be to discover how many things I can find to be thankful for today?’ or ‘In how many different ways am I a powerful, positive, person who can do what I put my mind to?’ Ask, be curious, be sincere and ask the questions anticipating that you will get an answer. It is not a yes or no answer you want, it is what you end up doing and thinking. Ask honestly, ask often and you will be surprised at how these work for you.

The other way is to infuse the affirmation with emotion. When you think or say the positive statement do so with energy, enthusiasm, determination, joy the best feelings you are able to. Feelings drive everything for us. That is why people make statements like, ‘I don’t feel like it’ or ‘It felt right’. We have gotten used to letting our feelings run the show instead of choosing to run our feelings.

The point of making affirmations with energy, or asking ourselves useful positive questions is not to find some pie in the sky magic but to take control of our thoughts and emotions and run our brains and behaviors instead of letting our brains, our thoughts and feelings run us. It is all about taking charge and determining how you want to experience the life you have. It is not about controlling world circumstances or other people or expecting things outside of you to change, rather, it is about controlling and deciding your responses to everything so you can be and enjoy more of what you want.

Once you engage the decision making process for yourself and begin to think and feel positively you are better able to feel the way you want to feel, to do the things you want and need to d,o to get the results you want from your efforts. You begin to create the life you want and the world around you. NOT by magic but as a result of feeling better, thinking better, thinking clearer and working smarter and wiser.

Frankly, it is a choice and a question you can ask yourself, a number of questions. ‘Are you happy with life and where you are? Would you like to feel better? Could life be better? Could you enjoy things more?’ If you answer yes to any of these or variations of these then you might want to ask follow up questions such as, ‘How do I want my life to be? How would I like to feel more often? What do I really want? If I could create my own future what would I be like, what would I be doing, enjoying and having? What can I begin doing right now to start to feel and think better?’

Questions can be endless and you want to ask in order to find ways to think and feel better. It is good to be wise about the questions you ask yourself. ‘If you ask. ‘How come nothing ever goes right? or How can I be so stupid?’ you are not using very good taste or judgement. Ask good questions that lead you to where you want to go. Think and feel positive. Take charge.

The bottom line is either you will or you won’t. If you ask ‘what stops you from making positive decision to take charge of your thoughts and feelings right this moment’ you might get a useful answer. Or you can ask, ‘What can I do this instant and throughout this day and each day that would make me feel better, happier, healthier, more positive and powerful?’ ‘What can I do right now to make my life more of what I want it to?’

Direct your mind, direct you feelings and your life will change. Set the direction a positive one. WHY? Because it is a wiser choice than a negative one. Don’t you think? Ultimately, you are already deciding how you feel and live life but what you think this moment. If you could think and feel any way you wanted what would you chose? If it makes sense, doesn’t hurt anyone and would make things more enjoyable then go for it. Only you can determine when you will begin, what you will do and who you are.

The opportunity exists each moment to transform the moment into something marvelous. You don’t have to go about changing everything many things are incredible just as they are, but there are moments you can enhance and make more delightful when you want to. So what will it be?

Take charge of your thoughts and feelings. It is up to each of us to do it no one can do it for us. If you aren’t already being and feeling and having what you want make it a point to begin now. Or don’t, you can always keep putting it off and waiting for something to come along to change things. If you wait, one thing is certain, you will wait. And wait, and wait. So what positive practice can you implement to day? When will you begin to recognize that you are making decision each moment regarding how you think and feel about things? You are already doing it. Now begin to take charge of the process so that it serves you in better ways and gets you more of what you want. You can transform your life into something much more wonderful, so won’t you?” Rex Sikes

My wish for you is to discover many wonderful things in this wonderful day.

Train Your Mind – It Works!!! Part 1

For some of us it is difficult to believe there is good in everything. Sometimes it seems there is just no good to go around, life is difficult and bad things happen.

I think of it this way. Before humans walked the planet events came and went. Some days were gorgeous some filled with calamity. Whatever happened happened. There was no one to label it, to judge it, to call it good or bad. Things occurred.

Some day I will take another form whatever that may be. I will no longer walk the planet so I won’t be around to comment on whether events are good or bad, right or wrong. They will go on without my commentary or criticism.

Since that is the case why should I waste my time while I am here. Isn’t there a better, a wiser use of my time? Wouldn’t I be better off not digging in despair whether the events are personal or global? Life is short. Life is way, way too short, as far as I am concerned, so I want to find a way to maximize the little time on the globe as best I can.

I decided at one time that if I was going to live on the planet I deserved to live in paradise. Whatever the situation is I wanted it to be paradise. What I found when I told others that many said it was not possible given the world and current state of affairs. They would say things like, ‘well there will always be suffering’. They said many things and I heard from many people through the years and the attitude seemed to be’ life was short, you struggle, try to be happy live a good life, hurt no one and die and hope there is an afterlife and that you may be rewarded’.

I thought this is not the way I want to go through my days. It took me some time, a lot of time actually, but one day I decided to decide how I wanted to think about things. I decided, whether it is accurate or not, that I create my experience. Yes, there is much scientific evidence to prove this to be true. Regardless, of whether it is true or not I decided that I create my experience.

I determined I had created a lot of crap in my life and some good things. I looked at me, my life and it occurred to me that I always got what I wanted and what I thought about.

My worst fears seemed to come true. If I was anxious or depressed about something it was harder to move through the world. If I worried about money I never seemed to have enough. Perhaps, it was a chicken and egg thing, and I wasn’t sure what came first. Did I not have money so I worried about it or because I worried about money I never had any. I wasn’t certain, but I decided not to care.

I decided that I would control my thinking. I would endeavor to think the best about myself, my circumstances, my future, the people around me, my family, friends, and even strangers. I would strive to maintain a positive focus. I would concentrate on finding the good in everything as much as I am able. I would find the best in everything and everyone.

It was not always easy, it still isn’t always easy. Sometimes there are challenges and it seems like I may lose my way. I get sidetracked or off course, caught up and I forget what is important and I get hooked. At some point I realize it is my decision. You know it is kind of like a guilty pleasure, but without the pleasure part. You know, , when you know you shouldn’t be doing something but you do it anyway.

Whatever it is, maybe you shouldn’t have that extra helping but you just have too, or you sneak an extra piece of chocolate. You feel guilty. Maybe, guilty isn’t exactly the right word. It isn’t guilt sometimes it is just that you just know there is a better way of being or thinking or behaving. It is like that, at some point, I become aware that I am off base and I need to get back on. I know it is up to me. Sometimes I don’t feel like correcting myself, but I do it anyway (because I have since learned how to). I course correct.

I have learned that just because things are going on around me that are not to my liking, even if everything is crumbling, I do not have to think negative thoughts, or feel bad or respond as I would have in the past. Oh, that was something else i did a lot of. I used to live in the past aggrandizing the good old days or lamenting what was or what never came to be. I gave that up to.

I decided I need to change what I paid attention to. I realized FINALLY, that the past was over and whether it was good or bad there was nothing I could do about it now. I could enjoy my present or not and I could plan my future or not but I could not do one thing about the past. It was over. SO I set my focus on what I wanted my future to be.

I began to think that where I am today is a result of everything I thought and felt and did or didn’t do in the past. My today is a product of my previous thinking. I am where I am because I created it. It didn’t matter to me, and it still doesn’t whether any of this is true or not. It doesn’t have to be true it really doesn’t. What it is – is useful. It is a frame of mind that I adopted as a choice so as to be able to have more control over what the results are in my life. True or not I don’t care.

So I decided to focus on where I want to be and create that instead. I focus on what I want and stay focused on that regardless of what is going on now. I imagine my future how I want it to be, I imagine I have it all in place, and this is what I concentrate on throughout each day.

In my mind I create the future I want to manifest. This was an incredible leap forward for me. Instead of living life looking back I started looking ahead. Instead of letting things happen to me I began to decide what I wanted to have happen. Instead of driving down the road looking in the rearview mirror I began to focus on my destination and how pleasantly I could get there.

I decided, I shouldn’t ignore the present that would be silly, I just don’t have to react to it as if I were a Pavlovian dog salivating to the ringing bell. I decided I would celebrate and appreciate the present. In order to that I had to think that it was worth it even when it may not seem that way. So I made it a point to look for whatever good I could find in whatever was going on and I would accentuate it.

If I experienced calamity and problems I would find whatever was good in the situation and accentuate that. Certainly, accentuating the problem or bad feelings didn’t make me think, feel or do any better but focusing on what was good did. I learned I could chose what I paid attention to. Even if my first thought was to find the bad my second thought became, ‘ok what is good about this?’ I learned I could direct my thinking.

I found as I did this things changed for me. No, not over night but gradually. What I actually discovered was nothing changed in reality other than me and my relationship to reality and THAT actually did change everything. That may be a difficult sentence or concept to grasp right now but my life transformed.

I learned that whatever was going on I could decide how to feel and think about it. I was the one in charge. Just be cause bad things happened I didn’t have to chose to be unhappy. I lived that way for years, without choice, now I began to exercise my choices. When I became the person who chose what to think and feel yes everything changed for me.

I was clearer in my thinking, I enjoyed each moment more, I found more delight in simple things, I discovered opportunities I might not have otherwise, I felt better, I was open to more things, I met new people and engaged in new activities. It was as if a whole new world opened up.

And guess what, every moment I had to decide to chose. Things came up that would have caused me to feel bad and I chose not to. Some things came up and I found myself feeling bad and thinking less than glorious thoughts but when I realized what I was doing I steered my thinking and feeling back to finding the good, celebrating and appreciating and being positive.

It is a daily duty. Heck, maybe every second I am doing it.

I found it got easier and there were longer periods of time when I felt wonderful. The down times got shorter. I got better at recognizing when I was wallowing or not serving myself well. AND that is incredible!

I had decided to treat myself as God would have me be treated. Okay, I know some will bristol here because of whatever beliefs you may have, but I decided that if there is a God and God wants the best for me why shouldn’t I want the same for myself. I deserve to have all the wonderful things.

I discovered that the wonderful things don’t come from having more things. It comes from being more wonderful. It comes from having less stress, depression, anxiety, anger, frustration. It comes from taking the bull by the horns and deciding to do something for myself and to keep on doing it no matter what. I decided I would never ever quit or give up. If I had to boot strap it I would, if the going got tough if I had to be tough I would get going. I decided that the end result was worth the price, whatever that price was I had to pay. AND it is!

I am getting so much more back than I pay for it is incredible!” Rex Sikes

More on this next time. Meanwhile have a fabulous day!

A Bad Attitude Is Like A Flat Tire

“Many people are stuck. They are not going anywhere. There are so many beautiful places to go inside of you and on the outside of you. If you stuck then you need to make a change.

If you want positive changes in your life. and you want your life to change then you must change things in your life. You can’t expect things to be different if everything remains the same. You must change your thoughts, your attitudes and your beliefs.

If you want things to be different and you want them to be better then you must change your thinking. When you do your feelings and your behaviors will change.

You must change what you are thinking about most of the time during your day. You must change what you have been focused on and then your life can change. If you want your life to be better you must focus on being and doing and having better things.

You must begin to think about what is possible, what you can do, what is positive and think on these throughout each day. The more you think these the more you become these. It all begins with our thoughts.

When your thinking, and your feelings and your behaviors change your whole life will change. You will think and feel and act differently which will allow you to create and attract what it is you want.

As you begin to think of yourself as a powerful, positive creator and you take responsibility for your life then you will begin to create all the good things you want. You will recognize that everything begins with you and what you hold in your mind.

It has been said that if you can hold it in your head you will hold it in your hand. A very positive first step is to take full responsibility for everything in your life right now. Whomever you are or aren’t, whatever you do or don’t do, whatever you have or do not have you are responsible for. This is your creation. Accept it!

Once you recognize your power as a creator and are pleased or displeased with your creation you can move forward to make your life everything you it to be. When you accept this, when YOU become accountable it puts you in the driver seat. You take charge of where you want to go from this moment forward. You get un-stuck and you begin to move forward.

You can make your life radically better, and much easier, happier, healthier and wealthier but it is all up to you. You do that it does not happen to you.

You take the first step. Only you can take each step for you.

Begin today! Develop a new attitude. Then you will discover all the many different wonderful places you can go.” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day! Do things that make you smile and feel good!

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There Is Always Something To Be Thankful For!

“Look around. Look all around, inside you and outside you and find anything to be grateful for. Whatever you find celebrate it. Large or small, few or many live with thankfulness and you will transform your life.” Rex Sikes

“Through celebration and appreciation your life will transform. When you learn to express your gratitude moment to moment magic happens.” Rex Sikes

“It is amazing what we can achieve if we only believe we will. Keep the faith in you alive. Make your circumstances work for you instead of working for them.” Rex Sikes

“Faith is power. When you believe fully that you can do anything you will. Just be smart about it. Some people want to fly and run off cliffs believing they can, that is a silly way to do it. Start on the ground and fly upwards. The Wright Brothers wanted to fly and they did. They were smart about it. Believe in yourself, be smart and you can accomplish anything. Perhaps, not the first way you think about it but believe you can, keep on trying and you will.” Rex Sikes

“First! Create value, add value to other people. Yes! GO FIRST! That is when and how the magic happens. If you wait for them to do first, you are too late. If you wait to do it – you will wait and wait. Instead, go first, and discover how incredible life can be.” Rex Sikes

“The Golden Rule is about thinking and doing first to others what you hope they would be kind enough to do to or for you. The Golden Rule means to treat others with the highest regard whether or not they treat you that way. You hold in your mind and heart all good things and project they to others. From your mind and your heart your actions arise. Keep the Golden Rule. When you do your life will be amazing.” Rex Sikes

“Absolutely attitude is everything! Get used to it. You will always have challenges, ALWAYS! Accept it already! How you handle the difficult times, and what you learn from them IS that which enables you to move forward in your life! SO stay positive and keep the faith!” Rex Sikes

“When you appreciate and celebrate and accept everything as it is there is no problem ever.” Rex Sikes

“You want to be free of problems? Learn to consider them blessings in disguise, because that is what they are. Blessings.” Rex Sikes

“You create magic and attract many good things when you go first. When you are the catalyst, the instigator, the initiator, when good things begin with you and your output you get so much more back in return. So go first! Create something wonderful for yourself and others. When you go first you will delight and surprise yourself.” Rex Sikes<

Do good and have a glorious day today!

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Realist or Dreamer?

“There are those who will say ‘I am a realist when it comes to thinking’. Interestingly enough, a realist may see what is there but only a visionary can see what can be.

One may be good at recognizing what is present the other builds the future. All innovation stems from visionaries and dreamers, who saw what needed to be added to the present to make it better.

A realist never flew a dreamer made it possible.” Rex Sikes

“Each day, focus your attention on what you want. Each day, take one step that will bring you closer to it. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The key is to identify it, claim it for yourself, and believe that you are worthy to have it.”Iyanla Vanzant

“Are you interested in where you want to go, what you want to do and accomplish or are you more interested in defending where you are now and why you are there?” Rex Sikes

“If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: That past does not equal the future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last sixteen years; or the last fifty years of life, doesn’t mean anything… All that matters is: What are you going to do, right now?” Anthony Robbins

“You want positive changes in your life. You want your life to change. Then you must change things in your life. Change your thoughts, your attitudes, your beliefs.

You want things different, you want them better then you must change your thinking. When you do your feelings and your behaviors will change. When your thinking, feelings and behaviors change your life will change.

You will think, feel and act differently which will allow you to create what it is and attract what it is you want You can make your life radically better, easier, happier, healthier and wealthier but it is all up to you to do that.

You must take the first step. Begin today to develop an new attitude and then you will discover all the many different wonderful places you can go.” Rex Sikes

I wonder how many delightful good and new discoveries you can have for yourself this day?

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Do You Know Your Power?

“The beginning of all creation, of all creative endeavors, is to see it in your mind. Everything first begins with thought. What you think about constantly is what you get. What thoughts occupy your mind?

The one thing you absolutely can take control of IS your thinking. You must be rigorous, dedicated, persistent in learning how to control your thoughts because for so long you just let them run on of their own accord. If you don’t take control of your thoughts they will control you – they already do.

Start today by deciding to create what you want in your life and then keep at it. Never give up and you will learn how to steer your mind to the positive thought that allow you to flourish. You will create plans that you will make happen. You first must initiate the process, stick with the process to reap what you sow.

BECAUSE you already are reaping what you have been sowing. Your present is the result of what you previously sowed.

Consider this: Whatever you are currently thinking, most of the time during your days, is creating your future. Your present thoughts determine your future reality. Don’t you think it is about time you took charge of the process?

Now is the time to take deliberate control and create all the good you want to include in your life. Think positive!” Rex Sikes

I hope your day is astonishing!

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Who Is In Charge? It’s A Really Simple Concept

“It is a very simple concept, yet most people somehow miss it. Due to prior conditioning or whatever we want to attribute it to people just seem to miss it. The concept is easy to grasp, it is straight forward and clear cut.

The concept is simply this – Either you are in control of your own thoughts OR you are not.

You are either in charge of your own life OR you are not.

You are either in the driver’s seat OR you are not.

You are either creating the life you want OR you are not.

It is either up to you OR it is up to someone else.

It is easy to understand yet most people will make excuses, give their power away, blame or attribute everything good or bad to others instead of taking possession of their own power and unlimited ability.

Most people don’t live the life they want to or dream of. People settle for something else instead of doing whatever positive good it takes to be and do and have what they want in life.

Either you do it or you don’t. Very simple.

The question is when will you begin to create the life you want if you aren’t going to begin this moment?

How long will you put it off?

When is enough enough?

How much of life are you willing to miss out on?

Stop wasting your time and begin making life the life you want. IT ALL BEGINS inside your own head, it begins with your thoughts.

As Henry Ford said “If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right. Stop wasting your own time and begin to day. Live your dreams.” Rex Sikes

Make your day especially beautiful, not only for you but for someone else too!

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Have To Change Direction Part 4

Hopefully, you are enjoying these blog posts as much as I am being able to share them. Much of this material I made available at other times in other fashions. It is exciting to be able to do similarly here.

I don’t pretend to be a writer. I am not. I simply try to share my thoughts. For most of my life, I speak professionally in front of groups and extemporaneously. Here you get a similar stream of consciousness.

I attempt to provide you with multiple analogies and examples to help you remember the concepts. Just as in habit formation we need repetition, the more we repeat the principles and concepts the more we remember them. Remember how you learned your times tables. Over and over again.

Keep in mind that the more positive you think the more positive you are able to think. The more you do the more you are able to do. It becomes a reliable habit.

The road ahead will always be twisty and turning and you will have many times when you need to steer back to center many times. That is just the nature of personal change.

Along the path to mastery of any skill, there are setbacks, pitfalls and plateaus. What researchers have discovered is the path to becoming better is not a straight path at all but looks more like a staircase.

Once we begin learning anything, playing golf or the piano, or knitting or public speaking what often occurs are, and especially in the beginning, some tough times. It is difficult, we have never thought or behaved or played this way before. As we continue we get better. Just like riding a bike. We attempt to do many things at once and we can’t pay attention to all of them so it seems almost overwhelming, still, most of us managed to do it.

As we progress we may have what is ‘beginner’s luck’ when we perform exceptionally, we are in the zone, everything is right and goes well. Then, there may also come along a plateau phase where nothing we do is correct. We actually perform worse. Typically, we get frustrated and angry without disappointing performance.

What we did not know unless we are told OR have experienced playing or performing long enough is that our life will be visited b by these plateaus many times. It appears these plateaus are necessary for improving. These plateaus give us pause while our unconscious minds assemble all the learning bits. It literally seems to suppress some activity while it makes sense of all the learning experiences, hence the sudden lapse in coordination or progress.

It will take as long as it takes to get through this plateau and the timeframe is different for everyone. The best use of your time when these occur is to relax, let go, enjoy and do something else. Take a break from the sport or learning activity and come back renewed and refreshed at another time. If you do play stop criticizing yourself or expecting yourself to be perfect. Cut yourself some slack, appreciate that you are learning and celebrate that you are on your way. Have fun in the meantime.

Then when the plateauing is over the learning curve begins again. Upward and onward until the next time the brain needs to assemble everything. It is said some of our dreaming is doing this very thing on a daily or nightly basis.

During your journey of being more positive you discover that as you engage this process is that it gets easier to utilize.

As you repeat it over and over on each occasion you are beginning the process of positive habit formation. Through repetition and through time you make it a habit. Once you have developed the habit you will be delighted to find yourself automatically doing it. You will also discover yourself using it more frequently to transform other limitations you previously we aware of.

SO the best way to develop the habit more quickly is to infuse your positive thoughts with positive emotion. Feel wonderful, find the best you can feel through the day and enjoy it. Nurture the process, relax about it, don’t force it and have some fun.

A habit can be said to be a skill that does not require or even enlist your conscious thinking about it. As creatures of habit, we pretty much do things consistently unless interfered with. For example, you probably sleep on the same side of the bed each night, you may even have a particular bedtime and ritual you do prior to sleeping. You awaken in the morning and you shower and get ready. You have a bathing order. You wash top /down or bottom/up in the same fashion every day. My guess is this rarely if ever varies with you. When you get dressed you begin the same way and in the same order. The same foot gets the sock on first, the same leg goes into the pant leg. You most likely drive to work the very same route and return the same unless you have to stop and shop or go somewhere or for any other reasons. We get angry similarly over many of the same things that always make us angry, or we get upset, sad, lonely over the same things.

It has been said the average human thinks at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of them are the same thoughts as the day before AND the day before that. Whew, who is doing the counting?

Bottom line we are creatures of habit. We engage in the same behaviors and thoughts on a daily basis without ever stopping to consider why or how we developed these. Even though there may be better ways of doing what we do, this IS how we do it.

Imagine that! Most of what we do IS already by habit. We are even known by our habits. Others can frequently predict how and what we may do or how we may react in given situations. At times, they or we are surprised, but pretty much we’re reliable patterned creatures of habit.

So when I talk of making positive thinking a habit it is not as though you have never done it before. You have developed lots of habits good and bad, some required much energy and attention while others seem to develop outside of our awareness. Either way, we’ve learned and set habits. Since we have done this many times we can do it again with complete purpose.

You might consider a habit a skill you do without thinking consciously about it and yet you can enlist your conscious mind when you need to. Driving is an example. You use both your conscious mind and unconscious to drive (as you do everything).

Driving is both a conscious operation and a collection of unconscious habits. This is why you can drive without paying attention and while lost in thought, however, that is NOT the safest way to drive. Safe driving requires both conscious attention and reliable unconscious skill. as

I believe the same is true of a happy successful life.

Developing the positive thinking habit works the same way all habits are formed. It requires your conscious determination, repetition, sticking with it without quitting, and encouragement.

For this discussion, the analogy I will use is taking up running.

To start, a person decides to get healthy, or for whatever reason, by jogging. After making the decision to begin one must ACTUALLY begin. This overwhelmingly obvious point is lost on the procrastinator who will get around to it someday. By the way, the cure for all procrastination is to put off procrastinating for another day.

The person goes out to jog. At first, they cant jog far or long and they might even get sore but if they keep jogging a bit each day pretty soon they can jog further with less discomfort. Soon they begin to notice the benefits of jogging. They feel better when they run, they feel better after they run and it has gotten easier.

Because of these benefits and because the body releases chemicals (another aspect we shall discuss at another time related to positive thinking) the person actually begins to look forward to running as a result. They get disappointed if they can’t for some reason. Jogging has become part of their daily routine, they have formed the habit of jogging daily. They even think about it when not jogging.

We form positive habits by being deliberate about forming them.

We make the decision, we do the action, we keep doing it without quitting and in time the habit is formed. The key to making something habitual is how often we do it without quitting and the enjoyment we derive from it. I have pointed out how the military conditions troop’s thinking by repetition and high emotional involvement. That is a great example of conditioning and making habits.

People have learned all sorts of habits, good, bad or destructive, and indifferent habits/ A good habit may be brushing after meals, thinking positively, a bad habit may be smoking or overeating or picking one’s nose in public, and indifferent habit may be which sock you put on first or your bathing order.

We do know habits are hard to break. If you have ever tried to stop engaging in a bad habit, like biting one’s nails, you know if is tough. So a wise way to think is that we should develop good habits to serve us because they too will be reliable and difficult to stop.

Don’t you think it is time that we take charge and develop positive habits? Once you develop the positive thinking habit it too is difficult to stop. Isn’t that great news? You make a positive, powerful and permanent change. You develop a reliable habit to automatically use and to put into use whenever you need to or want to consciously.

I think this is fabulous news for us humans, don’t you?

Still, as I have attempted to point out, the world doesn’t change necessarily, it is whatever and however, it is. It keeps going on. Some may think we do have influence as creators, but that is not in the scope of this discussion at this time. Perhaps, we do have influence as creators.

The point is regardless of what the world offers you or why you can develop your abilities though practice (or rehearsal) so that you can determine how you may positively respond to whatever it offers you.

Just because bad things happen one does not have to choose to feel unhappy. There is always a choice. We will explore this more in depth at another time as well.

You can change your response to what the world offers you. You can learn that you have choices you may never have exercised before.

The way you do this is to use do what I have been describing for yourself. Take the time and make it a habit. You will find then that the challenges thrown at you actually contain within them opportunities.

You will transform your thinking and as you do more and more things become good, whether they are inherently good or not. None of that matters. You determine how you think, how you feel and how you act regarding what the world offers. You become the victor.

When you do these things and change your thinking for the positive you enhance your ability to make good decisions. When you act on your good decision you get good results. Who doesn’t want to get better results? You do, don’t you?

I think this is a marvelous way to live. Being in control doesn’t mean having to control all the time. It simply means that whenever necessary, or whenever you want to, you are able to be more resourceful. You are able to exert control when you have to.

Being in control means you put yourself in charge of your creative processes and fashion yourself and your life more as you want it to be. You are very much a creator.

Whether you are new to this thinking or seasoned in this approach think positively about it and you will find more positivity in life. Look for what is good and new. It is there, right in front of you, right inside you, IF you will ONLY look.

There is the saying, ‘the kite rises against the wind’ which means that challenges provide us opportunity to grow. We become stronger when challenged. When we need to rise to the occasion. Muscles are built by lifting weights. The main point to understand is that however, you regard challenges, is how you will experience them. Opportunity is everywhere. You can learn from any experience.

So to sum this all up: We become what we think about most of the time during the day. So think powerful positive thoughts about yourself, others and situations and events. Look for the very best and you find the best. Give the very best you have because you will get back whatever you put out there.

You don’t have to let negative happenings or negative thinking bring you down. It can ALWAYS be otherwise. If you slip up, get up! Go on, steer back to center without drama, criticism, or fanfare. Celebrate that you noticed you were off track and get back on track. It is that simple.

In order for life to be better, you have to change it. You will discover many things that delight and amaze you. Changes will come more swiftly and you will find yourself happier and healthier overall. All you have to do is begin. Take the first step forward.

There are many things to continue to discuss and we will in future blog posts. I hope you are enjoying reading and putting to work suggestions you get here. I welcome comments. Meanwhile, make your day glorious. After all, it’s the only day, today, that you have.I believe this is worth it, what about you? Will you begin to day to make a real difference in your life today? What things can you do to make yourself feel more wonderful? How much fun can you stand today?” Rex Sikes

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Have To Change Direction Part 3

Once you begin implementing this process you open a window for change. You create a space where more good things become possible. Your life becomes more of an adventure because you look for and find more good things to include. You find more good things about yourself. As you begin to look for more good in yourself and others and in the world you actually DO find more good.

When you take moments and transform them by transforming your thoughts and feelings for the better you build a rich reserve of positive feelings. When you feel better and think better more of the time you are in a better mental and physical space to recognize opportunities when you may encounter them. When you are a positive influence and you resonate with positive energy other like-minded people tend to gravitate toward you. As you transform yourself others and the world can respond positively to you.

So someone might say, (counter example) well bad things still happen to good people. This is true. You may be the most positive person, believing in all good things, and some ‘terrible’ calamity may fall you or a loved one. I am not saying the outer world conforms to you. Things still happen, but how you respond to them makes all the difference. How you label actions and events and people makes a big difference. What you glean or learn from these, how you adjust and move forward is all up to you. Your perception about them is what makes them what they are for you.

Choice always exists for you. This is important to understand. Even though your current situation may not be desirable you do not have to choose to be unhappy about it.

I am not stating that you must be happy or stoic about it. I am only suggesting that it is your choice how you respond. If bad things are going to happen anyway why would you ever choose to feel unhappy about it? From the answer you give to that question will learn much about yourself. I am not saying there is a correct answer just examine your answer. What might you learn about you?

If you choose to not let it make you unhappy so be it. If you choose to be unhappy about it so be it. Don’t resist, accept, allow.

If at some point you wish you had made a different choice, my guess is there will be another opportunity at another date.

Celebrate whatever your choice is. You will get further faster by loving and accepting and treating yourself positively than by criticizing, self-loathing and regret. UNLESS these latter feelings catapult you in a positive direction they don’t serve to make you better.

There is a reason for regret. We feel regret so that we don’t repeat whatever we did. If you regret treating a loved one or stranger poorly then stop it. If regret gets you to stop treating someone poorly and begin treating them better, then in this case, regret is a good thing.

It got you to stop so it was an asset. If you can make the change it is positive to do so regret then serves a function. If you cannot do anything at all about it, if the person is dead or long gone, or it is just something you can’t change, then it’s an emotion that doesn’t serve you well in this regard. The same is true regarding guilt.

This is the point in our life when the Serenity Prayer may be useful to consider: ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’.

Wisdom is more important than knowledge because with a little knowledge you can do great things good or bad. Wisdom is knowing the difference. Again, here is where I think good taste ought to prevail. Make in the best possible interests of yourself and others. Do no harm. Do no harm to others nor to yourself. Instead, love and allow even when you don’t understand. Live and let live. What you resist will persist. Seek the higher way of being.

As I stated, when difficult times arise, acceptance is a worthy response. Sometimes we need to be able to accept and allow and not endeavor to escape or avoid or dictate how something or someone must be.

Acceptance, does not mean becoming a victim or giving up. Acceptance means learning how not to resist. Whatever we resist persists. When we actively fight against something we are IN A fight. It means we are actively engaged in combating something we don’t want. We are focusing on what we don’t want instead of being focused on what we do want.

It is a fine point, subtle but powerful, and we will explore later. For now, let me use this example. Not wanting to be poor is NOT the same as wanting to be rich. Focusing on what you don’t have or lack is NOT the same as focusing on what you want to create or gain or on abundance. Knowing what you don’t want or won’t tolerate sets your limits but it DOES NOT provide you a useful direction to what you do want. It is similar to driving down the road looking in the rearview mirror. It is not useful in getting you where you want to go.

So don’t resist. Don’t give what you do not want any more energy or time. Let it be, accept it for whatever it is, and steer gently from it. Acknowledge whatever is important to acknowledge. Learn from it and when ready move in the direction you actually want to go in.

It is okay to grieve, it is okay to be sad. We all feel these things. All emotions have their place. We are human after all. We don’t have to insist on being otherwise.There’s a season for everything, a time to sow a time to reap, a time to rest.

Don’t force yourself and for goodness sake don’t force others. Allow them to be whomever they are. Do not pressure them to change or be different for you. Don’t place unreasonable demands on yourself or others. Instead, celebrate your differences.

This is where The Serenity Prayer makes a lot of sense so I repeat it: ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’.

As you become facile with this process it gets easier and easier. It becomes a reliable habit. As a reliable habit you are able to handle more of what life throws at you. Anything may come along and upset you, rain on your parade, ruin your party or downright devastate you, but you will more likely recover quickly and more easily, no matter how difficult it was, by being a positive powerful person. You would only wallow longer if you are a negative person most of the time. Face it, it does rain and shine on the good and the bad.

None of what I am suggesting is about controlling the world or other people rather it is about your relationship to the world, how you move through it. I think we all deserve to make life grand and have it as wonderful as it can be. This means many different things to many different people so I am not drawing any conclusions here.

YOU can make for yourself the life you want to have whether you were born and live with outstanding incredible odds, or whether you were born on Easy Street. You can have the life you choose. The fist step going back to other writing is to conceive of it, Then believe you can have it. We have discussed believing in this blog post for a little bit.

When you become a more positive person you discover more wonderful moments and fewer hardships because you have opened up the possibility to include many more good things into your life. You enrich yourself with positive thoughts, feelings, actions, people and experiences. Like does attract like. Even if crap happens overall your life becomes far more magnificent.

In developing and maintaining a positive outlook, in making positive thinking a habit, you become your own champion thinker and doer. You become a positive resource to yourself and others.

When you stop yourself from traveling the old roadway to the old house, and you take a break, go into neutral and shift your thoughts to positive you move from victim to victor. As a victor, you are better able to handle and resolve the crap that may happen WITHOUT losing your positive focus or momentum. But, if you do lose it, you know how to get yourself back on track and on target. If you do momentarily forget your way to the mansion, you will more easily find it.

Promoting a healthy positive attitude in yourself makes life much better all the way around.

What you absolutely WILL discover when you engage this process is that it gets easier to utilize.

Think about a computer software program. I don’t like the analogy that much, but it returns us to the notion of servo-mechanism. A servo-mechansim does what it is designed to do without caring about the outcome or the content.

Take this writing software program for example. It is designed so you can run any content though it. The program is constructed so you can write and publish but it doesn’t care whether you write well or not, whether you write inspirational material or drivel, whether you write about love or hate. All that is your choice. You determine what you write about.

Our unconscious, or subconscious. or other than conscious (all just words for processes that occur outside of our awareness and in many cases our voluntary control) is the program. It runs on and on. You supply the content it publishes it. So the mechanism is there to return to you whatever you put in it. Recall, GIGO, garbage in garbage out notion. If you dwell on negative thoughts your unconscious finds and supplies you with more of the same, if you dwell on positive thoughts it will find and supply you with more. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CARE!!! It returns whatever you give it.

Most of us are better at one form of thinking than the other hence the results in our life. Obviously, if we are predominately negative then the world, our life reflects that back. On the other hand, if we are predominately positive, our world, our life reflects that back IT DOES NOT CARE.

The question for each of us is: If we are not happy, ecstatic, with who we are, what we have accomplished and what we have in life then when will we begin to take responsibility to change it for the better? If life isn’t glorious we can do something about it. One thing is certain. If we do nothing about it, it is bound to remain the same. If you do want something better, you can have it. If life is already incredible it can be even more so. Who knows if there is any upper limit on what we could accomplish if we only decided to try and then did not give up.

I have outlined a process in these pages that you can use whenever you discover yourself engaged in thinking or feeling other than how you want to. You do not ever have to do anything with it unless you want to and knowing ABOUT IT will not do anything for you. It is only when you do it and continue to do it that you will benefit.

So if you want a more wonderful life isn’t it time to begin doing something? You don’t have to take my suggestions or word for it you may find another way. Find what works for you. If you do not change something you are doing you will keep getting the same results.

What is it you would like to enjoy more of in your life? What positive things about you might you change for the better? If, you could do or be anything during the rest of your life what would you choose? What if, the next days and weeks and months ahead you became more and more delighted and surprised gradually, and discovered yourself just feeling incredible more of the time, wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t that be worth having for yourself?” Rex Sikes

More next time. In the meantime make every moment miraculous!

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Need To Change Direction Part 2

“Once you begin using the formula I provided you you will discover many positive changes in your life. As with any process or program you need to continue with it. It’s mental and spiritual nutrition. You don’t eat once and never eat again. You eat to maintain your health and wellbeing. You don’t just think one positive thought and never do it again. It is a daily exercise regime.

Once you engage the process and discover the fantastic benefits you’ll want to continue!

I’ve been sharing these processes and concepts for many decades now. I introduced people to my methods in personal development trainings that I conducted for the public and for businesses (and still do), in my Mind Design™ programs through my training company IDEA Seminars, in workshops and NLP trainings and seminars worldwide, and in my coaching, mentoring and consulting.

I’ve seen and worked with scores of people and have heard back from countless numbers of people from all over who’ve changed their lives for the better using this transformational approach. I released some of this material, the process, on Attitude Activator™ Audio Program, a guided relaxation program for activating your attitude whenever needed, in the early 90s.

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Since then more and more people through live seminars and through the Attitude Activator™ have benefited in countless ways. This is fabulously rewarding for me. My point is – IT WORKS – so use it. I’ve shared it here with you so you too can improve your lives as many, many others have. If it is possible for any one person to make positive changes it is possible for you.

Keep in mind, some others are not nearly as fortunate as you or I may be and they still have forged ahead and made a positive difference for themselves. If they can, we can. If I’m able, you certainly can!” Let’s continue from yesterday’s writing:

“When you begin to practice what I have suggested you begin to get free from limitations. You begin to free yourself from habitual conditioning, you begin to create space to be a new you and behave in a new way. You begin to experience the world with more delight. You find yourself expanding your boundaries safely and wisely. It is simple process, but it is not always easy.

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The method I described is not hard either. It is whatever it is. It is whatever you perceive and deem it to be. Your thoughts about it determine whether you think you can or can’t do it. Your thoughts determine whether it is easy or difficult. Whatever you think and conclude about it makes it so. THIS IS THE POINT!!! PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING!!!

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” He is correct. It is up to you whether you find it easy or hard, It is up to you whether you can or you can’t. It is up to you whether you will or won’t. It is completely up to you and how you think. Some people try to shift the responsibility from themselves and their inner processes to others and the outside world.

They may say ‘it is too hard, or she won’t help me, or he prevented me, or I don’t have enough money or time, or the economy sucks’. Instead of realizing it is not about ‘the other’ or ‘the outer world’ it is about how we think. Our thinking is what determines whether we move through the world with ease or not. One saying is, ‘Our attitude determines our altitude’.

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There certainly are real-world constraints, I am not saying there are not, but we can more readily overcome them when we think we are the kind of person who is able to. We won’t even bother trying if we think we can’t or that it’s too hard or that others or circumstances will prevent us. I return to the notion of being in charge. Who is driving the car? Who is in the driver’s seat?

The road may be rough or smooth, long or short, there may be detours or broken roads, even dead ends but it is up to you to steer yourself to your destination. Face it, we just grew up used to whining and complaining. Either we complain ourselves or we listen to others. The media is full of it. So were many of the adults around us while growing up and our peers.

We grew up with it so we accept it as normal. Until someone points it out one may not even recognize they are doing it. Negativity fits us like our skin. It is not even that positivity is difficult. It’s just that we have had so much practice doing otherwise. So the time has come to stop being a back seat passenger in your automobile and take the wheel.

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Learn the new pathway to the new glorious mansion and enjoy the journey. Don’t you really want to anyway? Wouldn’t that be exciting? Perception IS every thing. I have said for decades, I have asked this question of countless thousands: What is it that stops most people from anything they want to do in life? What stops them from success, from happiness, from love, from riches?

What stops most people? A THOUGHT!!! A mental packet of energy. A thought combined with a feeling. If you think you can’t and don’t feel like you can or will you most assuredly won’t. YOU WON’T. UNLESS you change the thought and feeling. This is why Henry Ford is correct. Whether you think you are able to or you think you are not able to YOU are right.

Your thoughts, your thinking determines where you go and how far you get. Little else has such power. SO, a thought can stop you. It is insidious actually because one little ole negative thought invites all his nasty friends and family to join him, resulting in ‘woe is me’ thinking and ‘bad feelings’.

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But if a negative thought can have a Pity Party then a positive thought can do likewise in the opposite manner. One little positive thought can transform and invite so that you have a Power Party. If a thought has that much power then you want to manage your thoughts. When you begin thinking positive you may have many negative thoughts to overcome. Don’t resist them.

It isn’t about fighting them. Fighting negative thinking is just focusing on the negative. It is like the ultimate joke, the prank. Fighting the negative means you are hooked into focusing on the negative and WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS! Recognize and accept them and then re-direct them. STOP – Take a deep Breath!!! Remember. Go to Neutral Then Shift focus.

One positive thought can throw a positive Power Party too. Then all the friends and relatives show up and before you know it you can be feeling good. You just have to make room for this possibility. Because you may have never done so in the past, because it is not what you automatically do, at this time you have to consciously choose what you think.

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It’s all a matter of awareness and good taste. Become aware of the need to think more positively (most of the time during your day) and you’ll begin to do this. Good taste means choosing really nice positive thoughts and nourishing them and not returning to or nourishing those nasty negative ones. Whichever you focus on you will get more of them. So, I think it is wise to choose the best.

Remember, if you think you are defeated you are. If you believe you can win you at least have a chance. If you think it is difficult and you can’t do it, well yup, you probably won’t. Don’t blame others, don’t blame the world, don’t even blame yourself (this is truly poor taste) just own up to it. Take responsibility and realize you won’t go uphill thinking downhill thoughts.

This is the point!!! PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING!!!! We have opportunities when we consider them opportunities. We have challenges when we consider them challenges. Nothing is actually one way or the other. It is only as we label it. If we label something as hard it may very well be hard. Still, you could surprise yourself with how easy it actually is, when you give it a try.

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This has occurred for me. Have you ever had this happen for you? Said another way, our thoughts OR our beliefs, IF NOTHING ELSE, set the framework with how we see and experience the world around us. Sometimes we are more accurate in our assessment than other times. Some times we are WAY off base.

Have you ever tried to convince another person, say a child, that if they’d just go, if they just try it, they’ll have a great time? They don’t believe you. They don’t care and are convinced it will be otherwise. However, once there they play or hang out and have a marvelous time. Thinking back on it they may not even be sure why they did not want to go or try something in the first place.

Has this ever been you? Have you ever been the one refusing to try something? I sure have. I’m aware there are counter-examples anyone can provide here. No one analogy is ever perfect and all-encompassing. But if you’re always looking for the counter-example, if you are always saying ‘yes but’ or ‘nope, what about this’ then recognize this about yourself.

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Recognizing this about yourself should reveal to you how you’ve learned to think (up until now) and how you process and what examples you look for. It should tell you a lot about how you and others may get along. There is nothing wrong with what you do, I am just pointing out a tendency you may have.

If you tend to nearly always look for the counter-argument then this is something you’ve learned to do. It is a habitual way to think. Don’t get me wrong, I grew up thinking that way, and I still do, but I have learned to think otherwise too. Our thoughts determine who we are, how we feel, what we do and whether it is simple, easy, fun or not.

This is what’s meant when we say our thoughts create our reality. We make it so by how we regard it. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life. What we think about we become AND we get what we think about. Your thinking sets your boundaries. You alone determine whether you are a ‘can do it person’ or a ‘can’t do it person’ by how you think about it.

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Whether you believe the world is a great place or a terrible place, whether you think it is an abundant universe or believe in lack it is all up to HOW YOU think about it. Our thoughts determine our reality SO your thoughts determine yours.

As it has been said “You are today where your thoughts brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You can not escape your thoughts.’ I’ll give you a few fascinating examples. For example, you come home put your keys down and later go to look for them where you placed them but cannot find them. They are there but you don’t see them.

You look and look but nope not there. Then all of a sudden voila’ they are there right where you put them. Have you ever had anything like this happen? You look right at what you are wanting to find but you do not see it. While it actually is right there, momentarily at least, for you it does not exist. Do you know how they train fleas. They collect fleas and put them in an aquarium.

Over the top they place a glass plate. The fleas jump up and hit the plate over and over. They learn this is as far as they will be able to hop. After a few days, they remove the glass and most, if not all the fleas, remain in the aquarium. You can perform the same experiment with flies. Catch some flies, put them in a jar and put some plastic wrap over the top.

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The flies bump up against the plastic and after a while decide that is as far as they are able to go. You can take off the plastic wrap and most if not all the flies will remain and even die in the jar. They’ve made what researchers call a ‘premature cognitive commitment’ which means they decide on the boundaries and then live within them.

It is premature because they don’t know that you will remove the boundary, yet they continue to live as though it were in place. They are committed. The word cognitive of course means thoughts.

We are limited by our own ‘premature cognitive commitments’. We don’t have all the information and we don’t know what will change tomorrow. We live from beliefs and from thoughts we made previously. Then we habitually maintain these thoughts and these limitations. BUT we no longer have to. We can begin to live and think differently.

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Understand now you can begin by choosing what you will think. Choose the best thoughts and discover new freedom. Learn that you can live, you can be and have whatever you decide you can. You need to decide to believe you are worth it. You may want to begin to think there is plenty for everyone and if someone else is able to get rich so are you.

You might as well consider that you deserve to be happy, healthy and wealthy. Decide now the future you want to have and take charge of your thinking. ‘You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you’ so choose the very best thoughts. More tomorrow. I hope you will find blessings everywhere you go and fill your day with smiles. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Your success and happiness depends on one primary factor. Get this right and everything else falls into place. The greatest predictor of success in any area of your life, be it health, wealth, happiness, love or success is Attitude! With the right attitude, the world is yours. With the wrong attitude, you continue to struggle.

You’ll continue to perpetuate troubles. You know, if you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got. AND doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result IS the definition of insanity. Stop the insanity! Get it.

If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life. The first and most important update is change your attitude! Your attitude is comprised of your beliefs and expectations. It’s those thoughts you repeatedly think that keep you the same OR that move you forward to greater and more wonderful results.

I created the Attitude Activator™ to help you get unstuck, become resourceful to create the kind of life AND results you’re excited about and pleased with. I developed this process, a blueprint, a procedure, the method to make it easier for you!

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Rex Sikes' Daily Inspiration and Gratitude

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