“When the student, or disciple, is ready, the teacher, master or lesson, appears. What makes a student ready? What makes a student? In the old days there were disciples and apprenticeships. That is not so much the way of the modern world of hacks and quick fixes. Historically, a hack was a disparaging term until recently when it’s used synonymously for a short cut. A short cut may not be a good thing.

A hack was a worn-out horse for hire or a person hired to perform unpleasant or distasteful tasks for some form of reward or money. A student is one who takes interest in a particular subject, studies and learns hopefully to master the skills. Then the student disciple or apprentice applies what one learns as a fellowcraft. It’s a process of gaining expertise through feedback on the road to mastery.

Not everything one learns will take one that far. There are important principles and practices and skills we master and make habits that govern our everyday lives. We have thought, feeling, speech and behavior habits that serve us or don’t. When we want to be healthier, happier, wealthier or more successful there are crucial talents and skills and principles necessary to acquire and master. Some do.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

When I was a teenager, more than anything, I wanted someone who would show me the ropes in the movie business. I desperately wanted a mentor. By chance one day I met a man who was successful in the movie business who had many successful proteges. He saw something in me and said so. He was willing to guide me for free. He didn’t want anything in return. I thought this too good to be true.

I was suspicious, at times fearful and certain he wanted something more. But truly, he wanted nothing other than the satisfaction of seeing me make something of myself in the business I wanted to succeed in. That terrified me too. I was always second guessing his motives, but I told him I was willing to do anything professionally it took to make it. I said that again and again. So, he told me what to do.

He gave me the first step. ‘Oh, you don’t understand’, I’d exclaim, ‘I can’t do that.’ I would proceed to tell him why. He’d nod understandingly and explain that I could do that or do this other thing. ‘Oh no,’ I’d say, ‘I am willing to do anything but not that.’ I didn’t want those lessons or could not see the value of pursuing a particular area. I didn’t have the money, the time, the skill or just thought I knew better.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Time after time he’d make suggestions. Most I would negate. Some I would try. Usually, I’d abandon whatever it was he had me doing. He never complained. He completely accepted me. He accepted me resisting him. He never threw up his hands or told me he wouldn’t continue. He had the patience of a saint. He had the awareness of a mystic. That’s what truly he was. He was good and kind to all.

He knew he was fantastic at what he did, but ego wasn’t part of his persona. He had nothing to prove. He embodied his talent, his awareness, his generosity and compassion without any form of bragging. He was secure in who he was. Our relationship lasted several years. I’d run away for days or weeks or months at times and come back dragging my tail and he welcomed me joyously. Never a criticism.

I left him eventually to find someone who could help me make it in showbiz. However, we remained friends until he passed many years later. He was an incredible guide who helped so many. He helped me but I didn’t know it or appreciate it. Had I listened and followed his suggestions things may have been far easier and better for my career. BUT I wasn’t really ready. The student thinks so, but isn’t.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

What is a student? When is the student ready? A student becomes ready when the student is teachable. I was not teachable. I knew what I needed and was willing to do some of it but certainly not all of it. If there was any conflict with my ego, fears and worries, I’d resist, make excuses and blame but not do it. Or I might try it and decide it was too hard, beneath me or made me look foolish.

I’d say, ‘yes, but’ and ‘no, you don’t understand’ and then provide reasons why I couldn’t or wouldn’t. It is more accurate to say I would not than I could not. I could have but did not. And reasons for doing or not doing are meaningless are really nothing but excuses. Pay attention here because this is important. Reasons are only reasons. Excuses ARE excuses and nothing else!! They don’t matter.

You can use them to prevent yourself and attempt to get away with it, but they don’t add or change anything. They protect the ego as do blames and resentment of others. The questions one must ask oneself is ‘am I willing to learn?’ ‘Am I willing to be taught? ‘How teachable am I?’ Many people answer, ‘I am willing to learn anything’, but when the rubber hits the road, they aren’t. Are you?

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

I wasn’t. How teachable are you? How willing are you to change? How willing are you to change what you think and what you are doing to think and do something new? Instead of being open and flexible in mind to take in NEW information and practices many people merely defend the old. That’s what I did. Instead of moving forward I defended what I already knew attempting to preserve ‘something.’

I had all the reasons and defenses why I could not or would not do or try something. If I didn’t think it would work or see the value in it, I wouldn’t allow it in. I discarded it before understanding it by experiencing it. Excuses prevent new opportunities from occurring. You only lose out if you are not willing to accept something new to try on. Like a new article of clothing, try it on to see if it fits.

Give it a good try and if it doesn’t add value to you then do something else. BUT be open and receptive to trying something unlike what you would normally do. It’s the only way to begin to get out of your comfort zone. That’s why for some positive growth experiences we say, ‘if you can’t, you must.’ Don’t let a thought or fear or worry or your past prevent you from doing good for yourself and others.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

Be open and available. Otherwise, you may have found the teacher and the master but if you don’t listen and do, hear and obey, try things on and experience the difference and get the feedback, you waste the teachers time. I learned later what an incredible opportunity I had and vowed never to abuse that time or the person willing to help me in that way again. I was closed but I opened.

You can too. Be willing to learn. be willing to change. Be willing to be teachable. Be willing to listen and absorb and follow the rules. Once you are good at the rules then experiment. Gain experience. BUT first know, in choosing a master or teacher or trainer it’s important that your interests are in the heart of the guide. Don’t go to someone whose interests are only your compliance. It must be heart.

It’s heart-centered care and compassion. It is not insisting you change for them. The person should be the kind of guide who helps you change for yourself and guides you to be the best YOU, you can be without wanting personal gain or to have power over you. You’re not their lackey. A true master is rare. As I discovered they can be terrifying to be around. Not because of them but because of me.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

I wasn’t ready to give up and adopt new ways of thinking and being. Being honest with oneself can save time. One might even call it a hack today. Eventually, I learned the lesson. I found others who would assist me and inspire and edify and uplift me. That doesn’t mean everything was easy or pleasant. Personal transformation as well as professional transformation comes at a cost. But later I was ready to pay for it and I am so glad I did. I learned opportunity is always there, but we might not notice or be ready for it. The best way is to practice flexibility and openness. More in my next blog. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

STOP MISSING OUT! CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR COPY OF LIFE ON YOUR TERMS NOW.