“How can you tell if you’re moving in the right direction in life? It boils down to what you focus on. Focus is not just a mental exercise; it’s the key to creating the life you desire. Why does this matter? And what happens when you focus on what you don’t want, or worse, when you try not to focus at all? I’ll break it down, because the answers to these questions are crucial for living a more fulfilling life. Don’t focus on what you don’t want!

When you think about what you don’t want, such as ‘I hate my job,’ or ‘I’m tired of being stressed,’ you stay stuck in that negative mindset. The thought itself doesn’t offer any solutions or guidance on what would be better for you. It only keeps you trapped in the discomfort of your current situation. By focusing on what’s wrong, you’re effectively locking yourself into that very experience.

Imagine you’re in a maze. Instead of looking for the exit, you’re just staring at the walls. Does that help you get out? No! Focusing on the problem doesn’t guide you to the solution. Instead, it keeps you in the loop of what you don’t like, with no clear direction forward. Einstein said you can’t solve the problem from the level of the problem. So, how do you get unstuck? You ask yourself, ‘Where would I rather be?’

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

This simple question shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what could be right. It helps you clarify your destination and gives you the mental map to start moving toward it. Clarity creates progress. Once you discover where you want to be, the next step is understanding why you want to be there. This is the fuel for your journey. For instance, ask yourself, ‘Why do I want this new career?’

The answer might be, ‘Because it will give me freedom,’ or ‘Because it aligns with my passions.’ The why uncovers your deeper motivations, which, in turn, give you the energy and commitment to pursue your goals even when things get tough. BUT don’t stop at the first answer. Keep asking until you’ve exhausted the possibilities. The first answer might only be the first rung of the ladder.

Keep asking until you get to the topmost reason or why. The problem with most people is they stop too soon. They stop on an answer and go nowhere else. Brains will too if all you seek is an answer. IF I ask you where’d you get your shirt. Once it answers it doesn’t have to go anywhere else. Get this. Your brain works on directions. When you provide it with a clear direction, such as a specific goal, it keeps moving toward it.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

It’s like a GPS system, recalibrating to get you where you want to go. But if you don’t give your brain a target, it wanders aimlessly or latches onto whatever has the strongest emotional charge, whether that’s positive or negative. If I ask you how good can you feel today? You don’t know.  So, it keeps looking. If your mind is constantly filled with thoughts of ‘I’m so overwhelmed’ or ‘I’ll never succeed,’ your brain doesn’t know to shift.

You’re providing an answer. ‘I am this.’ It doesn’t need to go anywhere else. It doesn’t shift focus because of your assertion or declaration. So, it zeroes in on those negative thoughts and takes them as instructions. So, what do you get? More overwhelm, more fear, more of what you don’t want. Your brain goes, okay, if you say so. Especially if you feel it. Your brain is always scanning for what it should focus on, and emotions play a HUGE role.

The stronger the emotional charge of a thought, the more attention your brain gives it. This is why focusing on what you don’t want is so dangerous. It usually comes with strong negative emotions like fear, anger, or frustration. Your brain locks onto these powerful signals and works to create more of them. It takes its cue from you. You inform it! But the good news is that the opposite is also true.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

If you focus on what you do want and attach strong, positive emotions to it, your brain will prioritize that instead. Let’s say your goal is to improve your health. If you visualize yourself feeling vibrant and energized, and if you really feel the excitement of reaching that goal, your brain will start moving toward it. You’ll begin to make decisions and act in alignment with that vision.

You’ll find yourself getting more of what you DO want because your brain is programmed to follow the most emotionally charged signals. BUT here’s where a lot of people get stuck. They have moments of intense focus on what they want, but then doubt creeps in. They start second-guessing themselves or worrying that they won’t succeed. This back-and-forth sends mixed signals to the brain. One foot on the dock and one foot on the boat.

You don’t go anywhere. When you go back and forth it’s like telling your GPS to take you to one destination, then halfway there, you tell it to go somewhere else, and then back again. You don’t get anywhere. You just spin in circles. If you want to get results, you must commit. Choose what you want, focus on it intensely, and stick with it. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or difficulties.

DEVELOP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MINDSET AND BELIEFS TO TRANSFORM YOURSELF

It DOES mean staying laser-focused on your desired outcome, even when the road gets bumpy. So, what can you do right now? It’s simple: Decide what you want. Don’t think about what’s wrong in your life. Decide where you’d rather be. Aim for the target you want to hit. Tap into your deeper motivations. Why is this important to you? What will achieving it do for your life? Motivation doesn’t come from outside. It comes from within you.

Provide yourself the reasons to go after it and to keep going until you succeed. Focus intensely on the positive. Picture what you want with strong, positive emotions. Let your brain lock onto that feeling of success, happiness, or fulfillment. Supercharge it with powerful positive feelings. Then Stick with it. Don’t send mixed signals. Stay committed to your vision, even when things get tough. AND what is the reason for doing this you might ask?

By doing this, you’ll retrain your brain to focus on what you want, and that will guide your actions, decisions, and ultimately, your results! Remember: what you focus on expands. Choose wisely and focus on what you want. Celebrate the progress you make along the way, because every step forward is a step closer to the life you truly desire. More next time. Apply what you are learning here now. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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“His deep and nuanced understanding of how the mind processes information and how real transformation is accomplished is beyond words. I was privileged to invest 10 hours a day for three weeks with him over 25 years ago. That information has infused the next few decades of decision-making and career success. He is a total gem in the world of teachers and trainers. My internal dialogue, my ability to manage my states, and my ability to train and coach students were forever improved. – Bart Baggett, Speaker, Author, Forensic Document Examiner, L.A. CA

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Infographic ©2024 Rex Steven Sikes & Rex Sikes Entertainment, LLC

Photograph ©2024 Rex Steven Sikes & Rex Sikes Entertainment, LLC