“Many people think communicating means talking and it does. What we say, how we say it, how we understand and provide understanding for others is all part of communicating. In today’s blog I want to concentrate only on one important aspect.
You want to be heard, don’t you? You want to be listened to, right? You’d like people to respect you and your ideas. Isn’t that true? I bet you’d like them to remain open, evaluate what you say and agree or disagree based on the merits of your argument. Am I correct?
If you answered yes to any of those, think about that for a moment. Other people want the same things you do. They want to be listened to, respected, understood and appreciated. They want you to hear them. Most of us really also want agreement. Don’t we?
You Win More Bears With Honey Than With Vinegar
So, to be most effective with other people, how about you just listen. Really listen. Hear what they say. Perhaps, ask questions but not challenging questions. Questions, similar to, ‘wow fascinating how did you discover, or come to think that?’ Listen and learn. LEARN!
Stop trying to add your point of view, or counter punch them with the reasons they are wrong and you are right. Let it go. Listen to discover what they value. Why do they like what they like? Why do the think as they do? What is important to them? Get it?
Be open to gaining more information about who they are and what they are like. Even if you have known them forever! Consider the points they make. Attempt to remain open. You see, if you want people to listen and respect you, listen and respect them first.
Listen To Listen – Give Respect – Attention – And Stay Open
Stop trying to change them. Accept them for who they are and what they believe. Not everything needs to be argued about. Simply say, ‘cool!’ Choose to remain open, listen and appreciate the person you are with for who they are. Make them feel important. Get it?
The more you help others feel good the more likely they are to reciprocate. Birds of a feather tend to flock together. Like attracts like. People say yes to people who are like them AND whom they like. You win more bears with honey than vinegar. Imagine that. Imagine listening without trying to control anything. Just listening. Do this and many of your relationships will improve in many ways. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
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