“Some people fear heights. Some don’t. What do you suppose makes the difference between those who fear something and those who don’t? Don’t you think it must be how they use their minds? Some use it for fear some do not. They must use their minds differently.
‘I am afraid of heights’. Yup, keep repeating that to yourself and see how quickly you are able to get over it. You won’t change as long as you keep telling the same story over and over! As long as you keep reaffirming what you fear you get to keep it for as long as you do.
But you say, that is my reality. Yes, and it doesn’t have to be!
YOU keep it your reality by retelling it AS reality. IF you want your life to change YOU have to change SOME THINGS in your life. You must affirm what you WANT not what you don’t want. ‘I am calm and comfortable. I stay peaceful and centered. I enjoy this.’
If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t – You Are Right
‘I enjoy different views’. ‘I can look and feel safe. I am confident.’ If you keep saying you are scared or terrified you remain scared and terrified. People perpetuate their fears and what they are frightened of over and over again. STOP IT! Doesn’t this make sense to you?
If it does, you can change. You CAN change almost any reaction or response you have. You need to stop telling yourself and others the same old thing. You need to put this old story to rest. Quit it! Stop telling the story of what you don’t want and of how you are broken.
Start telling yourself and others the way you want it to be. Imagine yourself free and able. Stop making pictures of falling and make pictures of standing comfortably and enjoying it. See yourself confident and calm. See yourself as you’d like to be. Imagine THIS!
Skill To Do Comes Of Doing – Drop By Drop The Tub Fills
Imagine looking through the eyes of someone (you) who is able to enjoy heights. Imagine looking out and feeling calm and feeling wonderful. Get the feeling of being safe and secure because you truly are. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Relax. Calm.
Feel confident and calm. Feel centered. Feel grounded. Feel safe. Feel AS IF you can do this. Feel secure. Feel comfortable. Get a sense of the feelings you want to have more of. Wrap those feelings around you. Feel them fully. Imagine feeling great doing new things.
Seek what you want and you can have it. Stop affirming what you don’t want. Quit living the way you wish you wouldn’t and start living the way you wish you would. Focus on what you want. Stop focusing on what you do not want. Drop it. Let it go. Get over it!
You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You
Be wise about everything. Take it bit by bit. Gradually expose yourself to greater heights. Inch by inch, step by step. You don’t have to go any faster than you maintain feeling comfortable. Learn to anchor those positive resourceful feelings for yourself.
Get comfortable prior to moving up. Have a trusted buddy with you. Ease into it. You can do this. You absolutely can. Be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. Stay behind the safety rails and in the appropriate areas. You can do this. Think ‘I can’ instead of I can’t.
Repeated exposure to a fear tends to diminish it over time. Keep at it. Repetition is the mother of skill. Correct repetition, for a long enough time makes the skill a habit. Develop the habit of being comfortable at any height. You can. Take your time and ease into it.
The More We Do – The More We Can Do
Feel grateful that your fear was there to keep you safe. Realize that ‘great fear’ is an over reaction to some things many people can comfortably do. When it is an unreasonable reaction to being at safe heights then perhaps you want to change it. Thank yourself.
Be grateful you look out for yourself even if you over react. Thank yourself. Appreciate yourself. Think, ‘Thanks and I want to do new things, explore new heights and continue to be safe. I will be prudent and wise. Let’s do this.’ Enjoy exploring and adventuring in new ways.
Find ways to delight yourself. Use motivating thoughts, messages, and music to stay resourceful. See yourself changing in your mind’s eye and being able to comfortably do that which you want to do. Feel how good it feels to be free and able to do it.
If You Really Want To Do It You’ll Find A Way – If Not – An Excuse
Notice these sensations. Pay attention to the sensations that feel good. Notice where in your body you feel them the strongest. Really feel these. Remember them. Anchor them. Lock them in for yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Enjoy learning to do new things and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
It is a new day. A new moment. Celebrate it!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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Horizon photo used with permission of Phil Koch
Nice scrollable blog,
Enjoyed the style.
I make myself overcome fear,
In the Military we had to “jump” when told to,
When I look into the eyes of a fear,
I imagine my Senior Chief yelling at me,
Then I jump!
Ironic,
Since I suffer social anxiety in social situations.
Thanks for the article.
Awesome! You can gently apply the same principle elsewhere for relief in other situations. Become mindful and drop into the present, here and now. Manage thoughts and feelings.
You, and anyone, can become a person comfortable in any situation by making the decision to get comfortable. We aren’t talking about taking risks with our lives here, we are discussing overcoming those elements which, in the past, have prevented us from living our lives as we want to.
Anyone can make changes if they are determined to. They can ‘jump’ into new more comfortable and resourceful ways of being. It may take a little time, or it may be downright quick. It may be somewhat difficult or incredibly easy, won’t know until one commits.
Either way one can change it from being a limitation and move forward powerful and confidently. Become the person, in the story, who overcame difficulty and lives by choice. Begin living this story.
I want to thank you for sharing. All the best and stay in touch!
Thanks for your good, concrete examples of how to use positive self-talk. I particularly like your suggestion to “be grateful you look out for yourself”.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
While this may certainly work with regards to heights and other fears, I think the fear of heights is a natural, logical and necessary one. We don’t have wings – we have feet and legs and are meant for land. If we are up high and fall, we either get injured or die. The fear of heights protects us from that. Fear of water keeps us from drowning in certain situations. So while hang gliding or skydiving can be exhilarating, our natural minds protect us from overdoing what can be harmful to us.
Thanks for sharing. Yes, all fear is protective. AND it can be exaggerated. Most research points to there being only two hardwired fears – fear of falling – which obviously would relate and fear of loud noises. Even hardwired fears can be tamed if one wants to tame them.
Fear is one thing – what we do to exaggerate is another. Some people are afraid of things in their room no where near the actual high place – that is a fear response brought about by thoughts and internal representations – it is not happening in real time reality but within a person’s imagination.
This same thing DOES occur when one is somewhere high (height or how high is relative to each person) when they imagine bad things happening inside their heads. Doesn’t matter to the brain whether it is a real stimulus or imaginary the reaction can be the same. Neural re-wiring still works wonders.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful post. Yes! Thank you!