“People ask how to be a better communicator. Is there anything that we can learn to do that will make us more influential? Yes, there is. Here is the rub. It’s not enough to know about it. Information changes nothing. Using information correctly changes everything!
The key to being more influential, a better communicator and better listener, is to BE INTERESTED? Actually be interested. Demonstrate you are interested! Ask questions. Ask questions and listen. Accept the answers. Don’t challenge the answers. Don’t dispute. Listen!
You’re gathering information not disputing it. Leave your point of view somewhere else. Listen openly. Accept what they say. Make some eye contact. Pay attention. Smile genuinely occasionally and be open to them. People like people who like them. Get it? Be open.
You Are Always Communicating But You’re Not Always Listening
Be likable. Show respect. Be genuinely interested in discovering who the person is. Accept the person. Research demonstrates that people tend to say yes to people they like when a request is made. Get it? The more you get it the better it is! Both parties win!
If you had to choose between a likable car salesman and an unlikable one, who do you choose? The one you like! Your kid or significant other may love you, but not like you very much when you make a request. People say yes to people they like! Be likable. Get yeses!
Find out what’s important to that person. Add value to that person. Listen and validate instead of disputing. Find the 1% of their position you can agree with 100% and agree! Gather the information. Mull it over and honestly explore the merits. Be willing to learn something.
Listen And Learn – Energy Flows Where Attention Goes – Listen
Consider their different points. Think about what it might mean if this were accurate. Seek to discover more. Investigate. Yes, I know it takes time. At one time building a fire took time. You had to gather the right type of dry f’n wood. The type that would burn not smoke.
Then ignite an ember. Fan it to flame, etc. Not a pleasant process but necessary. You did it because you wanted fire. How about you do some things that help you stay open and respectful that makes the other person feel so good they’d like to cooperate with you! Get it?
Win the bears over. Don’t drive them away. It’s up to you and what you do. Be open. Listen. Be accepting. Be respectful and you both win. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
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