“Why do people who care for each other have conflicts? Why do we argue? What are we trying to do when we lose our temper?
Do you think it works to turn people off and get them upset? If not, why do people keep doing the same things and get crummy results?
A major reason people have conflict and misunderstand is BECAUSE they don’t care enough to understand the other person. They aren’t trying to discover where the other person is coming from. Often they just want to give their point of view.
We misunderstand because we do it our way, not their way! We misunderstand because we want them to do it our way. We think we know what is best and perhaps we do, but we push our ideas, agenda and way of handling things on others who think and act differently.
It’s Not About Throwing Things At The Wall To See What Sticks
Think of it as speaking different languages. I speak Chinese and you speak English. It will be difficult for us to understand and agree unless either or both speak the other person’s language. No amount of yelling, cajoling, begging or getting mad helps.
Worse we project. We don’t even realize they don’t think and act, believe or value as we do. They may share similarities but they do it their way, not our way. Get it? We think they should know better because we know better. We think they think like we do. They don’t!
That is neither good nor bad. It means if we want to better communicate, preserve and enhance relationships, we should go first and begin to think more as they do. We should seek to understand what’s important to them and where they come from.
It’s All About Looking At People As Individuals …
Yes, we could wait for them to do it. They may not. If you want to improve the relationship, and convince anyone of anything, then you need to make the changes. If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got. Therefore it is up to you! Get it?
If you want things to change you need to make the changes! You need to care enough to develop other ways to understand and create understanding. If you realize you are apt to project AND want to do something about it, then perhaps you will. It is up to you!
If you don’t know you project, or don’t care, you won’t change much of anything. If you want to understand where the other person is coming from so, you don’t further misunderstand, miscommunicate, anger them or yourself, lose out or lose money, maybe you will.
… Who Make Decisions Based On Their Own Personalities
To be most effective as a communicator you need to put yourself in their place. Learn about them. Care enough to gather the info first without projecting and judging. The key talent or skill is to stay open and available to who they are, what they believe and value.
Stay open to how they do or approach topics, things, people and circumstances. Think Sherlock Holmes, if you know who that is. He solved crimes by paying attention and observation. He didn’t rush in with theories, conjecture or what must be done conclusions. Get it?
He first sought information that made the crucial difference. We must too. The answer is not within you, or me, while communicating. The answer is within the other person. Not us. We just think it’s in us. Be willing to listen without wanting to speak, correct or instruct.
They Make Decisions Based On Their Personalities Not Yours
Learn to better appreciate where they come from. To bother to do this, you need to care about the other person, the process and yourself. It has to be important to you to be better at getting along with others and creating understanding for you to want to do this!
I am including a link for something that is tried and true. More than 20 years of successful application in the real world and white paper to back it up. When you understand why people do what they do you are more apt to be able to influence them in respectful ways.
You will get along better and can make an incredible difference in creating solid understand and relationship. Whether the relationship is personal or professional if it is important to you, you will want to read this book. You will also want to crack your personality code. Use the website to get book and crack code.
Here is the link: Click To Get Why They Buy
You can understand why someone makes a buying decision, or any decision, in 90 seconds or less. Understand what motivates people to do what they do and why they are as they are. Knowing this gives you an incredible edge.
Sales Isn’t A Numbers Game – It’s A People Game
It can revolutionize positively everything you do. Get along better with others. Make more money. Help others. Learn something experts have validated. Have a system that simplifies everything. Fulfill your mission. Purchase that home.
Some people invest thousands of dollars. Some hundreds. You can buy this book now at 50% off. Now, it is only 9.95 for digital copy. You can begin reading today. That’s the cost of a couple of cups of coffee. If you want to improve what you do get ‘Why They Buy’.
To Get More Yes’s Instead Of No’s Learn To Get More Yes’s
I mean it. Why They Buy is a great book to read, use, and keep referring to. Change your thinking and you can change your life. Celebrate everything! Rex Sikes
“Mind Design helps me choose amazing thinking instead of habitual thoughts that aren’t useful. I form new habits in thought and feeling that result in actions that get me my goals. The possibilities are endless.” Robert Bogsten, Marketing Copyrighter, Turku, Finland
“Directed Questions’ created by Rex Sikes and the Mind Design course I am doing is very helpful. I change not only my focus but mindset, attitude and results. Helps me turn challenging situations into playful voyages of discovery and delight.” Kathy Strong, NLP Trainer and Coach, Bleadon, England
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