“How do you win at the game of life? Do you know? How do you win the money game? How do you begin to feel more like a winner and less like a loser? Are there secrets to making it different for yourself? Yes, there are methods to begin winning and to transform yourself.
This post continues the series. Be sure to read each in order beginning with ‘Do You Know The Critical First Step In Making Positive Permanent Changes’. Winning is an inside game. Our outer reality follows from our inner reality. What we think we become.
Our thoughts actually do determine our reality and the results we get. It works this way. Our thoughts precede our feelings and determine how we feel. How we feel depends on the thought we think. If we feel great it is because we think great positive thoughts.
Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right
If we feel poorly it is because our thoughts suck. They are negative or critical of ourselves, others or the world. Then how we feel from the first thoughts loops around and helps determine the next thoughts we think. If negative we get more negative. Bad to bad.
It spirals down or up depending on our thinking. Our feelings determine what we do. We either feel good or not so good. We either feel motivated or not. Loops again. Spirals more. Our feelings lead to our behaviors. Our behaviors lead to the results we get.
Most people don’t feel like winners because of this sequence. They run a negative less than glorious cycle. There is another aspect to all of this, I didn’t mention. It is the story we tell ourselves. This story is also part of our habitual conditioning whether positive or negative.
Our Thoughts Lead to Feelings Lead To Behaviors Lead To Results
People have a story they tell. That story is why they aren’t a winner. It’s historical in nature. It’s perceived history. They cherry picked examples to support their hypothesis of why they are or aren’t a winner; lucky in love; able to get ahead; or whatever it is.
This story is chronic. They speak it to themselves and to others. It stems from the Reticular Activating System (RAS) finding matches for their beliefs. We have discussed this aspect many times in previous posts. The brain finds examples for what we believe,
It doesn’t matter whether it is positive or negative the brain finds matches. If we think we are a loser our brain will support us in making that so. It will find examples to provide us with more reasons why that is the case. It would do otherwise if we felt we are a winner.
We Become What We Think About Most Often
The brain works to prove the human right. The subconscious supports the conscious in this manner. Whatever we think our brain says, ‘yup, you’re right!’. So losers tell why they are loser stories and winners tell why they are winner stories. This is HOW it works.
If you want to end being or feeling like a loser you need to collect more wins. How do you do that if you don’t know how to win and historically you feel as though you always lose? Here is how. Return to baby steps from my most recent preceding post.
Take baby steps. Realize you are a learner and you learned to do most everything. You learned to feel and think this way. Since you did you can learn to think and feel a different way. You will recondition yourself to think and feel and behave more successfully.
Winners Aren’t People Who Never Fail But Ones Who Never Quit
Consider yourself a learner is part of the process I already covered. Now add this next step. Find things to consider wins. If you made your bed this morning you are a winner. If you washed your dishes today you did something and won. Acknowledge and validate.
You took an action and followed through. Celebrate and appreciate. That is a win. That is an accomplishment. Each thing you did that you wanted or needed to do that you followed through on can be considered a win. Yes, this is a tiny piece. A baby step. A method.
It is a means and method to begin re-coding for your brain. You haven’t felt like a winner well now it is time you did. Start small and build up. Begin with intentions and follow through. Create a list of 3 to 5 things you will do today. Each day set your intentions.
To Be A Winner You Must Plan, Prepare And Expect To Win
Then do them. They can be really small. Such as, today I intend to make my bed; clean my desk; drive safely to work or school; greet my associates with a smile; confidently order coffee from the barista. Then do these. At the end of day check off your list.
Consider each one you accomplished a win. Do the same or others the next day. Find things you intend to do and follow through. Celebrate each one you do. Appreciate yourself and pat yourself on the back. Gift yourself is a small, healthy, positive way. Hooray!
Each day decide to do something. Go to store. Buy bread. Cook Dinner. Wash plates. Make the bed and consider them wins. While this may not seem significant, at first, it is. You are recoding or reeducating yourself as to what winning means. Understand?
Education Isn’t Learning Facts But Training The Mind To Think
Your definition of winning and the stories you tell have prevented you from feeling like a winner. We want to give you that feeling and numerous examples so you learn to feel like you can and do win. You need to feel that what you do matters and moves you forward.
Each day you, and I, engage in countless mindless tasks we had to learn to do. We do them so well, unconsciously, we never consider them as significant or as wins or as positive. They are! Because you can do these you can learn to do anything you need to. You can!
You can learn to make your dreams come true. Get it? Don’t let any excuse stop you. Find a way to move beyond what stops you. Begin with baby steps to help you reframe and redirect your thoughts. Affirm or ask Directed Questions™ for new ways of thinking.
Winners Never Make Excuses – They Make Results
When you think differently (positive) you will feel differently (positive) . As you feel differently (positive) you will take positive action steps and behave more positive. The results you start getting will be positive too. This is how you begin to change yourself.
This is how you begin to change your circumstances and evolve yourself into the person you want to be. You think you are a winner more frequently, you feel more like a winner, you behave more like a winner and begin to get winner results so you tell a new story.
Your story leads to more thinking, feeling and behaving and getting results which adds to your story. Soon you think, feel and act like a winner because you already are. You have reconditioned yourself to be a winner and to follow through on what you say you will do.
Believe In Your Ability To Succeed And The More Likely You Will
What began as baby steps gradually gets a bit larger. Never bite off more than you can chew. Keep it simple and easy and gradually challenge yourself. Keep the winner feeling. The more you think and feel like a winner the more you will actually begin to win.
Birds of a feather flock together. You attract other winners to you because you are one of them. Your attitude determines you altitude! How you approach tasks and opportunity can change for the positive because you have. Your RAS looks for positive matches.
It looks for opportunities. You become more aware of them so you can take advantage of them. You trained and conditioned yourself for success. YOU did it so you can pat yourself on the back. It wasn’t luck. No on else could do it for you. You had to so count it as a win!
Success Belongs To Those Who Dare To Achieve It – Begin Today
Mental success conditioning works as long as you apply yourself and continue the process. It isn’t a magic bullet. It is a sound, scientific, systematic approach to being, doing and having what you want in life. It is a method for a healthy attitude and outlook like exercise.
Just as exercise and proper nutrition requires follow through and dedication mental conditioning does too. Start small, gradually increase. Go slow and be patient. Set intentions and keep them. Acknowledge and celebrate when you do. Repeat daily. Feel grateful and express gratitude. You can do this! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Smile more and enjoy your day!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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